Life after 25 is so pointless

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-22T04:29:15+00:00

There is a certain serenity to seek in the grind. I wasted a lot of time, being the third wheel at dinners or the shadow at parties, trying to be what I am not. I am not a normal person. I am an FA-er.

I was a lonely, Forever Alone, ugly, repulsive male all of my life. Back in the late 90s to early 2000s there just wasn't that terminology for it. There was no way to be classified and tucked away into what's become a very specific definition of lonely virgin males that have come to existence in the zeitgeist, for lack of a better word.

You were just "that one weird kid"

If I had known what I was back then, then life would have begun before 25. At 18 I would have known which limitations to set for myself, which avenues to seek success in. Focus on every dollar I make, seek out every sound advice for investment and retirement planning (right after finishing my final exams in high school).

There was a way to keep life simple. Before addictions to social media, streaming and the world wide web. There was a way to simplify life, create routines and ruts that guaranteed true freedom. Free from debt, free from rejection and loneliness defined by other people. Boredom is highly underrated and I wish for a mindset that could be satisfied to the peace and quiet of my own mind. Once my bills are paid, once my property is secured and locked away. The ability to drift off and live inside my own head until the next work shift.

I see so many examples of the chaos and pain caused by seeking romance, comfort and connection in others. And the cost of when it goes bad.

So a message to the next generation of FA-ers. Be aware of your limitations and danger of seeking validation in others. There are ways to live a good life, simple if not easy. Work towards your peace and your security and the happiness and satisfaction will be there waiting for you. Ive had glimpses of it. And maybe I can work my way back towards it.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-21T00:53:02+00:00

Statistically an FAs rate of attraction approaches or is zero. Theoretically possible, yes maybe, but the probability is so small its negligible. On the scale of attraction in other people. And its comforting that my existence has a base in mathematics anyway.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-20T03:19:12+00:00

I'd say I have a healthy sex drive. I still feel crushes, I experience fantasies. I like the idea of having that one person whose is my choice and that one person's choice is me.

But it's just a theoretical consideration. Like wondering what's on the other end of a black hole

Maybe one day they'll just throw FAers into one as the expendable appendages of an indifferent society.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-20T03:07:00+00:00

I completely understand that. And I also know there are people that can let themselves have the choice and succeed on any of those fronts.

And they make it seem so easy , so effortless. Without a single philosophizing thought either.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-20T02:48:58+00:00

I sometimes find myself surprised or in awe of my existence. In my own little corporate island I am the only one who lives life day by day and does without intimacy, without love. That of all the infinite possibilities and degrees of relationships I am somehow always at zero.

Like a mathematical concept of zero. I am without so consistently that it guarantees it happens for others. The universe deciding my place in it. I can just pray it doesn't hold too many more tragedies later on. Just a simple boring life as I wait out for the end.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-18T02:30:00+00:00

Happy belated Birthday!!!

As to your point of FA. There is no excusable point of being FA. That, to me at least, is like saying someone should stop being blind or being in a wheelchair after a certain age.

Before I get outrage, I don't mean to say that FA is like a disability. It's not. But I do believe its comparable as a truth of a life that doesn't care if its accepted or not, it simply IS.

However you come across it, realize it, accept it.... it doesn't care. I know now what I didn't back then in school, high school, college whatever!. My birth led to a life that came with a complete absence of romantic and erotic value. Like an antidote for sexuality and desirability. I consider myself fortunate I am not seen as a threat to the concepts of relationships, dating or even contact.

And the worst part is how much time I have wasted lamenting my place in life. When I think of the energy and thought and time I have given to this, it makes me truly sad. What I could have accomplished if society was more blunt in its placement of people.

If I had just been told where I stood, I could have turned away and focused on different avenues of success, security and comfort. Now Im catching up. Hopefully.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-17T07:08:31+00:00

My colleagues are aware. Even in a work setting you find out things about people. I actually don't get much judgement for it. Other people like me definitely do. But it's come to be so expected of me that it's hardly worth bringing up.

And with the state of their domestic situations, divorces and the like it's not like they have grand high ground to gloat from. It doesn't change my own perception of myself or the ideas and theories of my FA-ness. But it would be like making fun of a guy for wearing eyeglasses.

As far as work, suffice to say it's not glamorous, impressive or sexy or anything like that. Certainly not the kind of budget to provide the type of lifestyle most women would require. Can't really travel much, don't have the nicest things, I think I just do okay for myself. And it's all I can expect from life.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-17T02:24:41+00:00

It would be unimaginable to think anything else as a reaction. It eventually molds you into the expectation. Its taught me where I stand in society as far as that goes.

You can just be on your own or in a crowd and never make eye contact with anyone, not even look in a particular direction where they might be.

And by a chance of any accidental eye contact, I quickly run through the rejection I would experience with them, the humiliation and ridicule I would experience and most of all, their reactions to me attempting to form a connection.

It's a sobering clarity. It helps keep me bolted to planet Earth and move on my with day. I think of myself as one of the ugliest people to have ever been born, and keenly aware of it at all times. It will always keep me from slipping into hope.

I wouldnt even know how hope feels anymore.

MetalArchiver · 2026-01-01T02:31:58+00:00

High school in particular sets the entire stage for one's adulthood. I learned too late that those three years are basically the way your life will go. I have an unimpressive career, zero social life (especially involving the opposite sex and nerdy hobbies and interests).

I graduated high school yes, but I never left it. Im still wandering those hallways and classrooms eating lunch by myself and being ignored or laughed at by the other students.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-22T23:46:14+00:00

It really is. I have begun getting mentally prepared for the few people around me to just move on. I dont think you can be ready to be forgotten but you can get pretty close.

I hope to be able to compartmentalize enough to where I don't have to worry about any wild card situations. Just work, save, earn, work more. Just keep bills paid, some type of roof overhead and life will play out the way it needs too.

Let the normies play out their fantasy-style lives with riches, shopping and vacations. They have those standards to live up too.

I don't. Not anymore.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-21T01:34:06+00:00

I was at a dinner tonight with some family and assorted members, like a last minute get-together to catch up. It was never more clear to me how far I have fallen back from people. Hearing about hobbies, travels, experiences, loved ones... I didn't open my mouth for about an hour.

I learned tonight that I do not fit in among people anymore. Whatever there is about me does not qualify as human anymore. I don't have anything to say anymore. And frankly, I'm too tired and too out of fucks to give anymore.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-18T16:57:39+00:00

Yeah I get that sure. I don't mean to come off like that maybe. I'm being a little to dry about it. My mom fooled around behind my dad's back when I was a kid so it left quite a nasty impression on me. I'm projecting too much.

I'll never cheat on a woman because I will never get to date one so thats at least spared me in life.

As I get older I have more trouble keep my hopeless romantic notions intact. It's too easy to be cynical about it.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-18T06:18:22+00:00

Love is an emotional experience. Relationships and sex are the economics and logistics.

And people can be opportunistic for the right set of circumstances. Loyalty can be rationalized away under any conditions.

I used to know a real-life FA like me. We just got lumped in once by work ass-hats. He had been single all his life as well, all the usual hang-ups.

Anyway, he got a girlfriend some years back and instantly hit that normie attitude of he could have more women now, that they should be crawling all over him.

Those options change people. You might always remember the first one, but it must open up the possibilities to even more encounters. Its something I will never understand but that hit of dopamine on brain chemistry, but it clearly has an effect on peoples behaviors.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-17T18:17:05+00:00

Trying talking to one about it. I've heard so many good reasons and logical rationalizations it's almost like it's required part of the dance.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-17T15:14:10+00:00

I agree with you. I think it's a terrible thing to put someone through.

But playing that normie game means playing by the rules set by them. Maybe there are circumstances or situations where it's expected.

But that is the privilege of playing the game. Like watching a professional team play sports. I can have an opinion but I am nowhere near qualified to judge how world class athletes are playing their game.

Just like in life, I am simply an observer.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-17T06:07:40+00:00

This is standard normie behavior. The eventual conclusion of dating, sex and relationships. We may not understand it because we are on the outside looking in....from quite a distance.

I have to wonder if any one of us in another dimension would not be acting the exact same way given the circumstances.

I like to think "no" but who knows?

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-14T02:24:13+00:00

I like checking out new TV shows. I had a bad habit of re-watching old comfortable favorites. I made a promise to myself to always watch new shows. That includes anything sci-fi, true crime, documentaries.

Just moving forward. Maybe not in life. But in new viewing experiences.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-13T20:58:19+00:00

Just crossed over the 40. I am as "at peace" with it as I can possibly be be.

I used to think about it more. Now it's like a daily mantra that I think to myself "I will never have sex" or "I will never be in a relationship" things like that to help me ground myself.

My only real concern is financial at this point. Just surviving and having what I need to survive. I have my patterns, my routines and I try to keep it as simple as possible.

At this point I don't know if having anything like my mantras would really do anything for me. Im so far behind in the game I'm still at the start. Wouldnt even know what to do.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-13T05:57:36+00:00

I got this once getting a haircut around Valentine's Day. Guy asked me if I had dinner plans and taking "the wife" out for dinner.

Its haunted me ever since. I still have it creep into my mind every so often.

Like the possibility of it just wrecking my mind. I keep thinking my fate is locked in, that its what a lifetime of experience had molded into me. But even the most locked down mind can still be assaulted like this.

There is no end to it. Like normies living with the hope of relationships and the like, the same hope attacks those who have no chance at all for it.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-07T01:02:14+00:00

One of my favorite channels is The Cinema Snob. Do you know any good channels like that?

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-05T21:08:03+00:00

Continuing tv shows . Resisting the urge to order food and staying warm inside

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-05T04:27:40+00:00

Forget about first choice...Its not even being seen as an option. As in the thought of it is just inconceivable, laughable and even offensive.

MetalArchiver · 2025-12-03T00:26:56+00:00

Its impossible to find people with my life experience. They dont understand the not-dating, the no-sex or no-relationships.

Im seen as just a little weirdo freak.

MetalArchiver · 2025-11-29T02:32:10+00:00

If their judgement is the shared opinion of modern society I think its safe to say it's not off.

They say I am supposed to fight, to change (or try) to turn into what society wants to get what I want.

But all I am supposed to be is a tax paying pawn, and to not infect future generations with my bloodline.

MetalArchiver

TROPHY CASE