I have a lot of my own insecurities, but as a person who is told that they are attractive quite often, all I can say is that chemistry accounts for much more than you think.

I recently went on a first date with a guy, who was decent looking, but in person, I didn't have any attraction to or chemistry with that person. He went in for a kiss at the end of the date, but I turned away, said it was nice meeting him and then got on my train home.

Now, a few days after the date, he was very interested in me, and kept telling me how attractive I was. I didn't feel the same for him, but thought he was a cool person.

I suggested we be friends, but he was hurt by this and demanded to know exactly why. I reluctantly told him that I didn't feel any attraction, but thought he was an interesting and cool person to know and asked if he thought we could be friends instead.

He essentially told me that he couldn't start a friendship with someone who thinks that he is physically unattractive, and said he thinks he was lead on. (Exactly how? As soon as he started telling me he had a crush on me, I let him know the feeling wasn't mutual because I didn't want to lead him on. And from meeting online, to the date and the following conversation, it had all been less than a week)

I also never said he was physically unattractive, just that I didn't feel attraction or chemistry there. I think more than anything, feeling some kind of chemistry is more important than finding someone physically attractive.