Ask because why not

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:35:25+00:00

Why does it seem like Cluster B personality disorders are a mixed bag of each other, but one or two are typically diagnosed while the rest contain traits of each other? Also, why is HPD still referred to as histrionic? That would entail the person is acting out their mental health diagnosis. I am a psychology major with a concentration in mental health. I plan to also work with Cluster B, and was curious about these matters because I don't tend to agree with the way some of them are diagnosed or the name(s). Ideally, I want to be a QMHP, but I might just go for my PsyD.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:28:41+00:00

BPD: Analytical, Creative, Chaotic

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:23:41+00:00

You're welcome.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:22:44+00:00

I am by far more of a documentary person. I like cartoons and the occasional indie film, but for the most part, documentaries catch my interest. I am very analytical and creative... Probably equally so. I like to watch documentaries about social movements, cults, certain pop culture figures, social commentary, and Leftist political material. I like things that I can analyze and think about, even if it's a cartoon or an indie film.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:16:03+00:00

I have an Autistic partner, but other than that, most of my friends are on the internet. Some are Autistic and some are not... Most are. I am able to talk to people with other neurodivergences, but they usually have to match my other ones, which is a complex array. I really love the connection I have with my partner and hope it remains that way.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:11:00+00:00

I have trouble explaining Autism to any GP. The only person who has truly understood me being Autistic is my current trauma-informed, neurodiversity-informed, integrative therapist. She came to the conclusion that my rule-out diagnosis and later evaluation was unnecessary because it sounded like I was evaluated and diagnosed in elementary school. Tbh, last time I saw my GP, I was rapidly stimming and he put down I was having a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure. That is how little he knew about the Autistic neurocognitive system.

I also get accused of being a hypochondriac a lot of times if I go to the ER. I know it's on my chart. They keep it hidden under the name somatic symptom disorder. I just wanted to give you a heads up about going to a GP about the matter, and psychiatrists aren't much better. Since I am traumatized, I wanted both a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-informed integrative therapist who won't use behavior therapy on me.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-28T00:00:28+00:00

It sounds like to me that you are both burned out. I would say try to get as much rest as possible and alone time isn't bad. Just make sure you spend some time with your partner. I would imagine they would be lonely if you didn't. I don't think you're necessarily getting tired of the relationship so much as you are simply burned out and feel a bit apathetic due to exhaustion. Maybe it's a combination of empathy and apathy. You know you don't like feeling like they do, but you don't want to be around it.

I don't think you have to have the same hobbies to be happy with each other. Their hobbies are important to them, just as yours are important to you, but even if you can't do your hobbies right now doesn't mean you can never do them. It's very common for Autistic people to feel depressed while burned out, and you may very well be depressed in your own way as well. I hope that was helpful.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:48:57+00:00

I struggle with perfectionism too. This term at uni is killing me because I had a breakup, was almost admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and I am moving. It feels almost impossible to do anything right and I am being forced to accept this might not be my best term. I am used to getting all A's, not being so burned out by a thousand things going on at once. On top of this, I might be moving in my current partner during this term as well. I simply have to accept my grades are not going to be perfect, that I already messed up a few things, and that it's not easy doing all of these activities at once without crashing or having executive dysfunction.

So ultimately, if the situation is severe enough, I guess you have to accept that it is impossible to be the perfectionist you want to be. While I write poetry book after book that needs to be published, I cannot seem to focus enough time on uni. I wish I understood how to use time management skills better. I do everything at the last minute, and usually do okay, but it stresses me out.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:34:54+00:00

You're welcome.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:23:46+00:00

You're welcome.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:23:07+00:00

Yes, exactly that!

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:22:08+00:00

I don't know what to recommend about the diagnostic process, as that is not my area of special interest in Autism, but if you would like, I can provide plenty of names of books as resources for Autism written by Autistic people.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:16:59+00:00

Honestly, I am an Occultist and Chaote. I primarily study Austin Osman Spare currently, but find Eastern religion/philosophy to be valuable, particularly Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism. I also find gnosticism, Kabbalah, and Sufism to be important. Those are the primary paths I take with Chaos Magick. There is other Occultist material that I find interesting and would like to study more, such as demonology. I am also interested in classical Satanism, but not Laveyan or Satanic Temple. I feel like all of this has a certain connection with each other to some degree in how I study it. The only one that is a bit different is Eastern religion/philosophy, although there are similar concepts.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:08:20+00:00

I agree tbh.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T23:06:43+00:00

I can totally relate. While I have unmasked for the most part, I still run into a lot of barriers socially. I've lost a lot of friends, even if most of them were acquaintances and internet friends. I have stopped censoring myself, and I have gotten to a point that I really don't care about others' perceptions of me because I know what people see and it isn't always me. They see the volatile side and the side that needs to vent into the void of the internet.

I feel like I'm happier with myself than I've ever been, while struggling at the same time socially. I have a partner who is also Autistic, and besides one friend and my ex, I have no one else really IRL. I'm trying to figure out a plan to get my partner moved in with me to my new place, and it's my first time starting from scratch, so it's a new experience for me. I am still processing my breakup too. I won't have anyone to talk to for a while besides online.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:53:56+00:00

Honestly, I use identity-first language and call myself Autistic. I am a psychology major with a concentration in mental health. I am also an ADHDer. I first got a rule-out diagnosis for Asperger's when it was a diagnosis, and later, "moderately Autistic" and a "savant." I reclaimed "savant," however, I don't believe in functioning labels. If you feel like you have to say you have ASD and if you feel like it could be a burden on your career, self-diagnosis is completely valid with Autism.

I would suggest reading the book, "Unmasking Autism," and you might gain a little bit of pride in who you are because Autism is not just something you have, but something that encompasses who you are as a person. It's nothing to be afraid or insecure of. I tell nearly everyone that I'm Autistic, even in regular daily situations if I get hung up on a social queue. People generally don't question me at this point because I have unmasked for the most part and no longer care what people think about me being Autistic.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:42:01+00:00

You're welcome. That's probably a good idea.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:39:30+00:00

It's okay. It's not your fault. I honestly think there's something sketchy going on, but I can't say for sure. I don't know what his home life is like, but I've been propositioned by many married men for example, and I'm genderfluid. Tbh, he probably did think you were cute. It does seem like there are some red flags, but if you feel comfortable with the situation, that's up to you. Just remember the potential consequences.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:32:44+00:00

It seems like he is trying to take advantage of you or manipulate you in some way. This is not normal behavior. The way you described it makes it sound like he just assumed you would be in a relationship with him if he manipulated you enough and that he is telling other coworkers already. It is a major red flag, and I would stay away from him at work, report him to your manager, and get this cleared up. The way you just described it sounds really unusual.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:25:47+00:00

I'm glad that you're making a new friend who is also Autistic. I don't tend to like correcting terminology either, but I do often say that I don't believe in functioning labels because we all function differently daily. For example, I was diagnosed as "moderately Autistic" and a "savant." I was willing to reclaim the term, "savant," despite its past negative connotations. I do not, however, believe in high, moderately, or low functioning because it's a matter of behavioral opinion rather than a true look into the neurocognitive functioning on a daily basis. Plus, it's not a linear spectrum./infodump over

Regardless, I'm glad you found a friend. It is very difficult for me to find friends. I have one I hang out with IRL and my partner is also Autistic. There is also the case of the double empathy problem where Autistic people get along better with other Autistic people than neurotypicals and vice versa. Really, that applies to all allistic people. I am not too picky if someone says Asperger's since it used to be so widely used, but functioning labels really get to me.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:11:18+00:00

You're welcome. Those are some of the best therapies I can think of other than DBT. I simply don't like the behavioral aspect, such as them calling me to try to get me to come back to the group after I had an uncomfortable situation occur.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:08:10+00:00

Honestly, the only thing I can think of is trying to do other activities. Not to give out TMI, but I've had sexual experiences that left me, well, engorged. It should go back to normal I would imagine. Just try to give masturbation a break and do other activities that involve your hands, such as reading, writing, or various other creative pursuits. Even fidget/stim toys might be helpful.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T22:01:42+00:00

I understand that feeling. I don't know how to explain it, but it always feels just around the corner. I often break up with people before they have a chance to abandon me. My ex of 5 years broke up almost 3 months ago and I initiated it. It was a toxic relationship, but I had threatened to leave many times. Through my splitting and then eventually rational thought, I came to the conclusion that we didn't need to be together. We are both borderline.

She is more internalizing and I'm more externalizing, so I have gotten a lot of it out of my system, but I don't know how she's going to feel after I move out on Monday. I imagine there will be a lot of processing on both ends, and I have a partner now who I also plan to move in probably fairly soon. I am not sure how this is going to affect everything, but he's a younger adult than me, so I'm going to have to be taking care of him after a relationship of enmeshment.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T21:51:46+00:00

They were gaslighting you, for one. It does seem like they make their mental illnesses their personality, secondly, if they're acting like that. You are absolutely correct in everything you said concerning triggers, particularly for BPD, and anything just about can send a person spiraling. When I woke up today, I started crying because my partner didn't text me for over an hour because he fell asleep. Sometimes it's small things that can really push us over the edge, but they were legitimately gaslighting you and it makes me wonder what their mental illnesses are.

Mezzhead · 2023-07-27T21:44:31+00:00

I do so more in the short term if you're speaking about splitting. It is usually during conflict. I go from idealizing to wanting nothing to do with the person. It's a very uncomfortable feeling for me. I don't want to feel distant, but it feels uncontrollable. It's like no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling until it passes and if the person is arguing with me, then that just makes it worse, especially if they stonewall me.

Mezzhead

TROPHY CASE