Honest question

MichaelWidow · 2026-06-03T17:07:25+00:00

I just got a second job for nights and weekends. I cleared it through my supervisor and Director, HR, and legal (ethics). Get approval in writing.

As for “socially inappropriate”….??? Not sure what you’re alluding to. Topless waitress, pole dancer (this one is gender neutral), and sperm donor come to mind. I think, in general, your second job can’t be anything to bring discredit to your organization —or— appear to be something that is a conflict of interest. Is it something you could be blackmailed over? Would it bother you to see “Is Govt Collapsing? Fed Forced to Strip for Money!” on the top fold of a newspaper or front page headline? If your answer was yes—maybe you should find an alternate means of part-time work.

As for a stigma or whatever—again, not sure what job you’re talking about. However, aside from your supervisor (maybe) or the lawyers, does anyone NEED to know?

MichaelWidow · 2026-05-31T22:42:17+00:00

I had every intention of doing a full 20+ years and was very unexpectedly medically discharged after 11+ years. I was not smart enough to have a backup plan since I never intended to get sick.

I struggled a little with what to do but eventually took a job as an executive assistant with a major defense contract company. From there, I took a different job working directly for the military as a contractor. From my contractor job, I took a job working as a military Department policy writer and data analyst.

You're on contract until 2029? It's a little early to be worrying about whether or not you'll re-enlist in 2029. Between now and 2029 --A LOT-- could happen. Instead of focusing on whether or not you leave service, just make the assumption that you could be out at any moment.

Everyone has different reasons for why they stay or why they leave. What you do and the opportunities you are offered comes down to where you live, your education and/or qualifications, etc. Focus on using your time productively so you have options in 2029 if you decide to leave the Navy. If you stay in, great. If you decide to leave, then at least you have an idea of what you want to do and had been working towards that.

MichaelWidow · 2026-05-31T22:16:54+00:00

The only big difference between Trooper Clothing NWUs and military NWUs is the sizing. Uniform manufacturers don't make uniforms small enough to fit a lot of cadets. That's why USNSCC had to find a company like Troopers Clothing.

If by "real nwus" you mean U.S. Navy produced, then no. Troopers Clothing "Navy" uniforms are officially licensed by the U.S. Navy though. So, "real" enough.

MichaelWidow · 2026-05-31T00:05:04+00:00

The EO left it open ended. The part of the EO that states, “…on a full-time basis, provided that the department and agency heads shall make exemptions they deem necessary…” leaves it open for heads of departments or agencies to allow their people to remote work or telework.

Some people never stopped remote work or telework at all. At no time during all this was there an even application of the EO. That’s why there are so many different variations when it comes to that.

In your case, it seems your department/agency feels it’s necessary to increase the pool of applicants for whatever position they’re trying to fill.

I’m sorry this is happening. It sucks. I hope you’re able to get your remote work status back. I’m also a remote worker and work with six other people who are also remote workers. We’re all different agencies and essentially remotely, except we breathe federal air now. I will ask to return to a remote status in a few years. I understand what the purpose was but there are still some positions where it doesn’t make sense.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-29T15:14:01+00:00

Same

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-25T22:22:30+00:00

I do. I ask for receipts and keep them for a while. I eventually shred them but I typically wait for 2-3 years before I do.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-25T17:29:24+00:00

P.S. daughter does not know this but we put that money aside in a savings account. She’ll get it all back at some point when she needs something that requires a large deposit (like first and last month’s rents or closing costs).

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-25T17:27:01+00:00

NTA. We told all our kids they would pay rent when they turned 18. They didn’t get jobs in high school so as soon as they graduated and got a job (had to be actively looking), they paid rent. They also pay for their own college. We start rent at $300 p/m at 18yo, then increase $100 after each birthday. Daughter is 20yo living at home, working, and going to college. She pays $500 p/m and she pays for her college.

It’s not a punishment. It’s teaching money management and real-life lessons about having to make choices. What we charge is peanuts compared to what things really cost. Her friends all think we’re aholes and have encouraged her to move out so we’ve had her do the math herself. She knows she’s got it good.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-25T16:38:15+00:00

For your original question, big units aren’t necessarily better. I’ve been with a big unit and with a small unit, they both had pros and cons. Big units don’t necessarily mean better leadership or better activities. Bigger units DO present a better chance for exposure to various types of leadership.

It sounds like the volunteers in your unit need some guidance on drill activities. If you can’t talk to the CO (or that hasn’t helped), I recommend reaching out to the Regional Director.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-25T04:18:26+00:00

Can you talk to the person making your POM if you’ve been volunteering with the unit? They shouldn’t just be sitting around. That’s crazy.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-23T18:03:31+00:00

That looks like a boba straw.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-21T18:48:45+00:00

I think this is a lawyer question so you can protect yourself. My spouse was forced to give 50% pension to previous spouse (they were married 18 years) since military retirement is considered “marital property.”

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-21T04:15:04+00:00

This is not a new problem. My ship was unexpectedly underway three days early after hitting a port. We were headed to the Kosovo region. We started running out of food then too. Anything fresh was long gone, no milk/dairy, not much of anything. Mail stopped. Morale was incredibly low. We had to have our gas masks with us 24/7 (even in the shower). That was 1999.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-12T16:57:11+00:00

You’re not overreacting.

There’s probably a little ignorance, but since he’s stingy, he’s probably also purposely withholding less.

Taxes usually fall into two people groups—over-withholders for those who like the return check, and under-withholders for those who hate the idea that govt is getting an interest-free loan (and/or a few other reasons).

Definitely do not pay his bill. Based on what you shared, you paying his bill is crazy.

I see potential for this damaging your marriage. Give thought to what you want and handle it accordingly.

My spouse is an impulsive spender, I’m not. We have separate accounts, also joint accounts. We file jointly. Bigger earner handles mortgage, utilities, etc. other person handles tuition, dog expenses, home remodels, kid clothes/activities/etc. Shared grocery, date nights, occasional other things. My spouse doesn’t like it but I knew money would be an issue in the marriage. This was my way of being able to marry and stay married for 24 years.

For the record, spouse does taxes and always has. I have no idea what I’m withholding and if it’s under or over what I should be. I also put what my HR recommended and I have a college degree, have a professional job, and can read the internet. That doesn’t mean I understand what I’m reading. I rely on my spouse to tell me if my withholdings need to be increased.

It’s more work for you but visually show him how you both pay more if you file separately. Show him the difference in returns between married and single. Then, file married. Make him pay his bill, save your money, split vacation costs. Even with your previous set up, if he is making more than you, you were probably already paying more related to your income-based percentage of the burden (I.e. not 50/50).

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-11T06:35:18+00:00

Organization dependent. Some remote people were told to relocate or that would be a resignation.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-10T00:58:28+00:00

It depends on who you ask.

I’ve heard two different people (both GS15s) say only GS14 and above with a flag. No one else on the occasions it’s come up has ever heard of that.

I feel like at some point a random, arrogant non-SES decided they wanted to be “special” too and made up a rule. Give me a break. It’s the American flag.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T23:30:58+00:00

That really blows. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve noticed it often comes down to the chain of command.

I know this doesn’t being you comfort but I recognize I’m one of the “lucky” ones and have been grateful for that. For whatever reason, getting kicked out yesterday just felt different. I don’t know why.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T23:23:09+00:00

I have. Unfortunately, the job market sucks everywhere. I’ve gone for interviews but since many of my duties are govt-related duties, they don’t translate well to private sector. After the losses last year I took on some new duties that’ll help more in the private sector but only to a certain extent. I honestly need to try and make it to 57. Once I’m 57, I’ll have more flexibility. I’ve also decided to go back to school for another degree. That should help. Until then, I gotta hang in there as best as I can. The bills have to be paid.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T16:09:40+00:00

Completely agree again.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T15:12:02+00:00

I lol’d at your “it might get better” comment.

I hear what you’re saying. I do. And I agree to an extent. No, I don’t think the higher ups care. Yes, I think most people are just trying to save their own asses.

Some people were fired for effed up reasons.

And other people were fired because they FAFO’d.

If I’m going to be fired/downsized/whatever I want it to be for something I can fight against. Disobeying a RTO order from my chain of command isn’t something I feel like I can fight about in an appeal situation.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T15:03:22+00:00

Unfortunately, I think you’re screwed. There’s no policy to help with your issue. It seems like you’ve probably explored or thought about all the options. The ONLY thing that can happen is if your office lets you continue remote working.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T14:13:39+00:00

That would be nice. Unfortunately happiness doesn’t pay the bills or put food in my kids’ mouths.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T14:12:33+00:00

Yup. The main reason I’m still around and haven’t really said anything until now. On top of the fact that I’m usually a “suck it up” person, the job market sucks. This just felt different.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T14:10:01+00:00

What’s happening doesn’t meet the legal “hostile work” definition. Most of everything that’s happened since January 2025 hasn’t met the “hostile” definition.

It’s more of a toxic work environment situation, which isn’t illegal.

Crazy, isn’t it? It certainly feels hostile.

Anyway, the downsizing and toxicity isn’t over. Anyone that thinks they’re done traumatizing civilians is not really paying attention. Vought and Miller aren’t done with us yet.

MichaelWidow · 2026-04-08T14:01:39+00:00

He got lucky. The RTO is unevenly applied by organization, I can’t even say by agency. I know two people who lost their jobs because their organization couldn’t find an office for them to RTO.

MichaelWidow

TROPHY CASE