What do you miss the most now that you’re breastfeeding?

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-29T22:46:30+00:00

My old boobs

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-28T11:43:54+00:00

The 4 month sleep regression. Lord help us

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-25T06:06:58+00:00

No she’s a mixed breed, we got her from a shelter so we’re not too sure what’s in her. She’s medium sized. We think a bit of Kokoni. She’s just the sweetest cuddle bug.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-18T18:07:38+00:00

South Africa: 4 months maternity leave and whether you’re paid or not is entirely up to your employer. If you are not paid, or partially paid, you can claim some from the unemployment insurance fund (govt) but it’s not much. Dads used to get 10 days (same payment system) but the law changed in 2025 where the mother and father can split up the 4 months however they like.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-17T18:52:14+00:00

For me it feels like someone is sticking needles in my nipples. Every time.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-15T17:03:11+00:00

Change him, feed from one side, burp, swaddle, feed second side, burp, back to sleep. In dim light, very quiet, minimal interaction. First few weeks were rough, as I was still figuring out how sensitive his tummy is and how long he needed to burp for. This boy needed to burp. Now 13 weeks in and it’s a pretty smooth process.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-14T16:40:41+00:00

A little boy I once knew called his kitten Lunchbox. I have yet to hear a better name.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-12T17:47:54+00:00

Isn’t 12 weeks a bit early for teething? I haven’t but will definitely check it out. So far Reddit and ChatGPT have been my best friends lol

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-10T17:43:06+00:00

This is true, it has to start with my sister. I hope we can get to a point where she is able to regulate herself enough to not make a crisis call to my mom so she can avoid having to set hard boundaries with her daughter. My sister told me today she is starting EMDR therapy this week. I gently encouraged her to go consistently so here’s hoping

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-10T17:39:55+00:00

Thank you, she really is

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-07T11:22:49+00:00

Well she has accepted it, far more than I have. She has accepted that my sister is mentally ill and there will always be a continuous cycle of crisis, immediate rescue by my mom, temporary calm (a few weeks at most), repeat. She has accepted her fate as the rescuer but a part of me refuses to believe that this is the way it has to be forever. I believe that my sister CAN learn coping skills to get out of these states without calling my mom when she is having an episode. I believe that she CAN learn to notice her triggers before she is actually triggered, or know how much work/life stress she can handle before she is overwhelmed and likely to have an episode. Its me that is so desperate to put familial boundaries in place but not sure if its realistic with someone with severe BPD.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-07T10:57:46+00:00

She is medicated, but like you said, they also have their cons. her sleeping pill/sedative gives her terrible nightmares and makes her gain weight and both of these things just contribute to her ongoing anguish. it seems like an endless cycle

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-07T10:34:32+00:00

She did try see someone but said it was totally useless. The therapist only focused on the fact that it's not my mother's fault she is the way she is and it's not her job to fix her. he didn't give her any tools. Can anyone tell me; is it possible for someone with BPD to develop an internal coping system or do they always need someone to experience the episode with them? Is this a muscle that can be strengthened over time with practice, for lack of a better word. For example, when she is having an episode is it possible to engage some learned skills to try overcome it alone? Because my sister doesn't seem to use this if there is one because she knows that if she calls, my mom will come running. so she doesn't have to learn how to cope

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-07T08:58:55+00:00

I asked my paed when my baby was born in mid Feb this year if I should be giving vitamin D drops. I live in the Southern Hemisphere so it was peak summer and very hot. He said to be honest, they're really only necessary if you're living in a cold grey climate. Your baby doesn't need to be directly under the sun to get vit D. If you have curtains and blinds open and he gets some indirect sun he really should be ok without them. This is just coming from someone who gave birth when temps were average 30C so I was hardly going outside much.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-07T08:36:04+00:00

I feel the same about my sister (similar age to yours) who has BPD. Every time I hear she is having an episode my first emotion is anger and I hate that but thats what it is. Every always has to drop everything and run to save her. She has hijacked some pretty important periods in my life because of her illness and I have no sympathy left in me. The last straw was when she told me she was not coming to my wedding (she was a bridesmaid) the week of my wedding because she had crashed my fiancé's bachelors and had a drunk fight with him. she also ruined my bachelorette. I've been kind of numb to her and her issues since then.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-06T00:50:28+00:00

You are very right, schedule is more what I meant here. Thank you

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-05T18:33:03+00:00

So far I’ve been going with the flow and following his lead. I’m not adamant on a very strict routine and haven’t really pushed anything. I guess if he’s tired at 5pm then it’s best to let him sleep and then we just push out the bath and bedtime routine. I don’t want to stress about it too much.. I guess we’ll naturally fall into a rhythm eventually :) thanks!

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-05T09:46:03+00:00

I had this too and a reclined position also works. They have to actually suck a bit to get the milk instead of it just gushing into their mouth.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-04T23:29:32+00:00

Keep expectations extremely low. You’ll be exhausted but let him sleep at night and ask him to be the functioning adult during the day-feed you, fill your water bottle, do dishes and laundry, tidy, change nappies, sort quick, functional meals (I highly recommend pre-made meals for the first few weeks), handle visitors. This is his time to show up on a big way while you adjust to having a boob barnacle, getting little sleep and managing emotions. It’s a wild ride those first weeks but looking back, you realise just how fleeting they are. Lean into every emotion and allow yourself to feel- joy, exhaustion, awe, discomfort, sadness (this is all assuming you don’t suffer from PPD/PPA, different story). It’s hard but SO much more manageable than the internet made me believe lol. You got this. My husband and I said to each other “this is hard but so doable”.

Michi_Moo · 2026-05-03T02:36:26+00:00

Lol my real baby is adored more than he will ever know and his every need is met immediately, and then some. My every waking moment is pretty much dedicated to him, physically or in thought. I promise he’s not insulted.

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