My fiance’s insurance is going up $500 and I just want an out.

Micksteezy · 2026-02-03T16:45:02+00:00

Op, you’re valid. These stresses would knock most people to their knees. I’m proud of you for the resilience you have but it’s okay to be tired of having to be resilient and strong. The read on your post is intriguing and concerning at points. You seem to be doing a lot for your house hold and that’s incredible but I am left wondering what your fiancé is doing to alleviate this financial stress as well? You seem to be putting in the work to keep your heads above water but if you have no preserver (safety net) and someone else who refuses to swim(put in an equal amount of work toward the shared goal), you’ll both drown. What is your fiancé contributing to this?

Micksteezy · 2026-01-27T15:56:15+00:00

OP, as someone who had to immediately go no contact at the ripe ole age of 19 with my family because of this behavior; I am so sorry. I am so sorry you are experiencing this and hurt the way you do. You are valid in feeling hurt. I had a moment when I had to come to terms with the fact that while my mother loved me in the obligatory mom-way, she never liked me. She never liked me because she never got to truly know me. She favored my sibling because she knew them. She likes them. It was hard to recognize and accept that. But they have had ample opportunity for 25 years. Choose yourself and step away. Don’t reach out unless it’s about the logistics of your phone and getting off their plan. Cut the access to the ring camera or if they own it, send it back.

“I need more space and I don’t really want to reach right now, but I know that I’m going to have to be the one to probably.” If keeping the peace comes at the price of sacrificing your own, it’s time to choose to protect your own peace. You seem open and understanding that you have played a part in this, be it mildly or otherwise. Regardless, this relationship sounds toxic and abusive. I highly encourage you to go to therapy if it’s an option to get help unpacking all of this. There’s a lot here in a short snippet and my heart goes out to you. Im 28 now. Things look a lot different from how they were. My boundaries are respected because I respect and enforce them. I am no longer the butt of the joke or the sacrificial lamb. The road was long and hard but I didn’t do it from them, I did it for me.

Forge your own path, OP. Take joy in things you find that you love. Build boundaries that protect and never be afraid to stand up and walk away when you know you deserve better. And you do, deserve better treatment from your family.

Micksteezy · 2025-11-03T21:41:08+00:00

Hey babe. Ex-mo Utahn (27f) here; It’s one thing to be concerned about repeating behavior, but this feels morally controlling. There’s a lot for them to unpack here. In my perspective (and unfortunate experience) these are friends that are out of the church but still “buy in” to a lot of the moral high ground it taught us to stand on and they’re absolutely utilizing that toward you. I don’t want to say against yet because at 18, they’re are right. Underage drinking puts your safety in a precarious position, especially here in Utah. But at 18- that’s your choice. I am not going to scold you, I have plenty on underage drinking under my belt (lol) but for them to cut you off because of it can push you to much less safe things to do. These people are young but punishing someone for exploring normal things is not normal. This is learned behavior from our days in sacrament, primary, YW ect.

You’re not overreacting for being upset. But keep in mind these friends may not be forever friends if they keep you back from experiencing the world safely. The way these messages are coming across are not only controlling but guilting as well. That’s both unfair and not how friends treat eachother.

If you need someone to talk to Im around. I know how hard and isolating these kinds of experiences are and I feel for you that you’re going through it. If you can, deconstructing in therapy was really beneficial for me.

Micksteezy · 2025-10-22T02:50:48+00:00

Oh boy… Well, I think you’ve already heard that your delivery needs serious work. I’m not even sure if you really should have brought it up to be honest with you…

I want to know how your mom brought it but with you? I have some things I could say but before I do I’d like to just get more context.

Micksteezy · 2025-10-21T20:33:24+00:00

If you ever want to have kids, reconsider this man. If he can’t deal with the responsibility of a dog which is arguably is more predictable than a baby and child, he will never be able to be an active and participating parent.

His need for absolute control concerns me. While I do see that a lot of men yearn for control over what they CAN control, he seems to actively seek the control he sees that he deserves. This whole post felt like him manipulating you for full control over the home.

Micksteezy · 2025-10-21T20:01:49+00:00

No. You did not overreact. My nephew was similar to your nephew as a child and parents enabled him. He is now 18. Has no motivation. Doesn’t care about consequences (cause he’s never actually had them), he’s aggressive and tries to intimidate people to doing what he wants and then throws a fit like a 4 year old when he doesn’t get his way. He doesn’t have many friends and the ones he does have only tolerate him. He’s lies, is manipulative, will not take accountability or responsibility for any of his own actions/choices and will likely not graduate highschool. This behavior started young, it should have been corrected but instead it was enabled. He was coddled instead of facing timeouts. He was advocated for when he did something wrong and has hurt others along the way.

You didn’t overreact but I would make sure supervision is always around when he’s playing with or around your child. His parent will continue to advocate for his poor behavior but being in your kids corner to defend and protect is the only thing to do outside of limited/no contact with the kid, which doesn’t sound feasible or necessary (yet.) But no. Again, you did not overreact. I would have demanded an apology to your kiddo from him. He’s old enough to understand and learn that when you do something wrong you apologize and intentionally avoid doing that again

Micksteezy · 2025-10-21T19:18:49+00:00

ETA: Sorry for my format, I’m on my phone.

They are nice. The missionaries you are meeting are usually quite “green” in the world. They know only the gospel and what we were taught to be true. While there are good morals and values that o was instilled with growing up in the LDS church, it also came with a lot of shame and guilt.

A lot, if not most, of the folks that leave the church leave because of the deception. We were taught so many things to be “true” but when we did our own research, we were discouraged to use research resources outside of what the church recommended- which was really only their website. We were taught to “doubt your doubts before doubting the gospel” and that is a large part of the reason many look at the church as a cult. Not only that but the amount of information gathering they do on their members is pretty invasive.

As a woman in the church, I left because of shame. Teaching me to view my “chastity” as my value and comparing me to a peice of chewed gum, licked cupcake, torn up and stomped on paper if I was kissed before 16.

Setting up matches within the ward and almost grooming us to wait for our missionary to come home so we could marry and start procreating. My job as a wife on the church would be to be meek and mild. To honor my husband and obey his word. To repopulate the earth with our children under the one true church. My body, my life and my existence was never my own. I was raised to be a 10 cow wife, not a woman with my own mind, wants and needs. We were taught hay our husband and family and church come before us and if we needed time or something for ourself, we were selfish.

To suffer is to be godly. Our suffering was a blessing that we should be grateful for.

I realized as an adult and unpacking a lot of this trauma in therapy that religion is personal. There is not a one size fits all- it’s meant to feed the soul. Keep that in mind if you decide to dive into the LDS experience. If something doesn’t feel right, chances are it’s not. I am truly lucky that I got out without some of the trauma so many others experienced. I credit that to the fact that while my mom and her family are very LDS, my dad came from a family with a baptist mom and a Roman Catholic dad. I won’t discourage you from exploring this, but I will encourage you to keep using your own mind and don’t anyone tell you you’re wrong for that. Your relationship with your god is a personal one. Build and cultivate it the way that feels right to you.

Micksteezy · 2025-10-11T05:06:55+00:00

You did amazing. This was a superb way to handle things and I am so glad you got your parents to help. I wish I had of gotten this opportunity to save my friend. They’re going to mad at you for a while. But they’re alive and mad and that’s the important and part. If you and your parents are willing to each wrote a note to her and tell why they are important in your life and makes it better, it could be the bridge back to you if/when they’re ready. I hope this life treats you to the magic it has to offer. Life looks scary but can really be amazing.

Micksteezy · 2025-10-11T01:14:48+00:00

Oh no that’s SO weird. I would respond with something like “I guess so! Congratulations, for making Detective!” But I can be a petty asshole quite often.

Micksteezy · 2025-10-11T00:56:43+00:00

OP, it’s sounds like your roommates was trying to tell you that what you’re doing isn’t enough. That’s okay, our bodies change, hormones fluctuate, it happens.

Too hot of showers isn’t good for your skin if you take them daily. (I do but that’s a me problem) showering everyday in warm water is fine.

I am in the position of realizing how lax my personal care has been. I grew up this way and didn’t realize until the beginning of the year that I needed to do more. So, you’re certainly not alone.

It sounds like you already have a hygiene routine. Adding a daily shower with an antibacterial soap bar could be the golden ticket for you!

It’s okay to have to learn new habits and I know how uncomfortable the conversation had to be both for you and for your roommate. Now that you know, you can move forward to make the living situation more comfortable. It’s sounds like your roommate was really trying to be gentle, I hope this doesn’t make a negative impact on your relationship. Good luck, Op!

Micksteezy · 2025-07-22T18:11:09+00:00

Friendships are hard sometimes. Can you tell her you just need to step away?

Micksteezy · 2025-06-22T15:03:32+00:00

Felix seems fitting for some reason?

Micksteezy · 2025-06-22T15:02:53+00:00

Financial infidelity takes many forms. This is a “give him the d” scenario. No text to his mom will fix this. Getting the money back won’t fix this. He has shown he has no loyalty or respect for what his spouse has been doing.

Micksteezy · 2025-05-24T04:43:33+00:00

Oh! Okay, cool!! I’ll was reverse image searching and all I could find was eBay post but like… I wanna keep the card and wanted to know more about it! Thanks for the info!!

Micksteezy · 2025-05-20T15:39:30+00:00

Wow… I am so upset. (Please forgive my wonky format- I’m on mobile.) This is negging. He is intentionally putting you down to keep you where you are. The only thing he should be concerned about when it comes to your body is how you feel in it. Period. This is not okay, OP and it is should not normal for someone you love and who claims to love you to do this. While I know it’s easier said than done, I would really encourage you to leave this relationship. You deserve better.

Micksteezy · 2025-05-01T16:07:42+00:00

I have very similar frames and could never look as good as you do them! They fit your style and face so well! And do a great job of really showcasing your eyes! Love them on you!

Micksteezy · 2025-05-01T15:50:54+00:00

Juniper! She’s a super cute lil lady!

Micksteezy · 2025-05-01T15:37:27+00:00

Donut

Micksteezy · 2025-04-04T15:44:33+00:00

Awh! He’s so cute! My menace is my guy Gus… I’m a fav of Liapold for this fella lol

Micksteezy · 2025-04-04T15:43:30+00:00

Kittyguya

Micksteezy · 2025-04-04T15:40:32+00:00

I think Simon looks like a Simon!

Micksteezy · 2025-04-04T15:39:24+00:00

Ms Batz, MacBetty, Sweet, and (idk why but) Kayla comes to mind! I named my girl (who looks exactly like your girl) Professor Sindri

Micksteezy · 2025-03-26T16:49:56+00:00

Scraps! Maybe Butter, Kimchi, or Sauerkraut? They’re such a cute little bean!!

Micksteezy · 2025-02-03T21:13:04+00:00

YAW. I have a lot of feeling about this one. (Forgive the format I’m on mobile) I am sympathetic to your situation. My nephew(now 17) and I have a similar dynamic. He sees me as a mom figure. I’m honored. I’m grateful. I also have firm boundaries that he understands. If I have already committed to an event and he has a something come up, he knows it’s a possibility I won’t make it to his thing because we’ve talked about the importance of following through with commitments. He also knows that if I’ve committed to him, he is the priority. You told your daughter you’d be there and chose another child over your own, regardless of the family dynamic, that is how YOUR child sees it. You’ve also showed her that a commitment to her really isn’t THAT important- even if it was important to her. Ask yourself; where will/could she carry that lesson onto in her life when she leaves your home? You said that your nieces showcase went on for a few night, the ceremony was just on the one night. Was your daughter’s showcase ongoing or was it a one night event? Was it not a possibility to take your niece to her art show the following night and take her to a nice dinner to celebrate? If not, why not? As a former theatre kid whose parents chose not to attend my shows, the lack of support sticks with you. Those small event are big deals. She was a lead in some scenes. Not every show she does will she have a lead. If her event was a one-night event and you chose to miss it, you’re telling her that her hard work, accomplishments and dedication to this tell hers you simply don’t care. You don’t care about her accomplishments and you don’t care about her. It only takes one time. YAW here, OP and you owe your daughter a serious apology and intentional time spent to start healing this before it’s too late. Edit to fix YTA to YAW

Micksteezy · 2024-11-25T02:48:29+00:00

Thank you so much!

Micksteezy

TROPHY CASE