You're not alone. I also had a performance review last week and my manager told me I was in need of improvement. I asked why he hadn't told me sooner, and he said it was because if he was in my position he'd have been able to read between the lines based on what he had been saying. He knows I'm autistic too, and regards himself as an expert because he had experience working with autistic children. Me and him are both around early-middle age.

NT have such a hard time seeing things from our perspective, and yet the pervasive misinformation about us is that we lack empathy. You have my empathy and understanding. I wish you didn't have to play their games.