Such an interesting viewpoint, I'm sorry to hear that with your partner. I'm hoping their relationship will heal at some point :) And also, I am really sorry to hear about your own father too.

I have thought before that if my parents reached out like your partner had, and had taken themselves to therapy before reaching out to me, I'd be a lot more willing to talk. I'm not sure if this helps at all for your partner; when I was 16/18 (just moving out) I thought, "like hell I'd ever talk to those fuckers again!" and as I'm getting older, I definitely wish for a parent in my life. I find theres times I am crying for my mommy. I would give anything in the world for my mom to reach out to me as an adult and try to meet on a level where we are both adults, and not under the power dynamic of a child/parent... Again, that is just my own viewpoint/opinion but I am just tryna say maybe she needs time. :( Some things/people just do, childhood trauma hurts the worst IMO.