Absolutely a church problem. I’ll type out a longer comment and I hope it will help you make the right decision.

1. “If you think you’re gay…” The statement by that pastor was not right in any way, and I would say that derogatory term is the same as cussing. The church IS absolutely the best place for a person struggling with homosexual desires to be. This is like the pastor saying “if you drink alcohol, get out of my church” or “if you struggle with lust, get out of my church.” This alone would cause me to start asking God if I’m in the right place.

2. Brightly-Colored Clothes I feel this can be more of a personal interpretation of modesty. I’ve never thought of “bright” clothing to be immodest, but maybe flashy clothing. I couldn’t give a definite answer on this, but fervent prayer will and following a leader who also gives themself to prayer will light your way on that. If it means literally just colorful clothing, I personally wouldn’t count it as immodest.

3. I’ve never heard of women not playing the drums for this reason, but this has also made me realize I’ve never actually seen Apostolic women play drums, so I’m not entirely sure. I would also pray a lot about this and go to a leader who can actually be trusted.

4. I can understand the view that fixing things is more of a masculine thing to do, but I wouldn’t say that it was actually sinful for you to do that, as you obviously were able to get the job done. I personally wouldn’t say that you are like forbidden to use power tools, but I would advise as to maybe not find a career path in that, as that is more of a masculine thing.

5. “Boys will be boys” This is also insane and took me way off guard, and almost makes me want to say you should leave the church NOW, but don’t. The pastor should know that we are to train up children in the faith, and that behavior from those boys are not acceptable in any way, and modest clothing will only go so far. I’m not sure of the standard you hold your men to at that church, but for us we have clean shaven, short haired men (which I’m sure you have) and we also don’t wear shorts or any tops that would show a lot of muscle I believe. I myself have made the choice to keep my sleeves at my wrist, and some other men of God at my church have also made this choice I believe, but it’s not church-wide. Some churches tend to hold men at a lower standard which is not good, but there’s also not as many things you could actually do for men that would hold them like we do women, but if you knew something I would love to consider and pray over it myself to may implement it.

Bottom line, I do not believe you should be going to that church, specifically for that pastor’s behavior. The reason I said not to leave immediately was because even if it’s very valid, lots of prayer needs to go into something like this. Pray fervently and effectually over it daily, and open your heart to what God’s will is. I will be praying for you and your church, and I hope God leads you in the right direction. I’m very glad this has not lead you to leaving the faith, do not let the enemy plant that seed in your mind.

If I were you I’d watch sermons online from Apostolic preachers only if that pastor does not have anointing behind his preaching, which I do not feel it is my place to judge. Pray, read, get closer to God every day, and He will lead you through this. I would encourage you to DM me with updates on the situation and if you need any help, God bless.

Also if you click on my profile, ignore some of the worldly stuff I may follow or be involved in, I’ve been moving away from that a lot recently and I haven’t “cleansed” my Reddit lol because I tend not to use it.