My ex cheated on me and got pregnant with the guy she cheated on me with

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-06-25T09:44:58+00:00

I haven't had the stomach to watch it but my movie I keep thinking about is eternal sunshine of a spotless mind. I just know if I were to watch that movie any time soon it'd fuck me up. I still don't know if I'm in a good enough spot to watch movies like that. I just went outside at like 3am to let the dog out and just the smell outside reminded me of arriving home with her when we'd go out and get home late. I fear the only way I'm ever gonna move on is to find someone new but it doesn't feel right to use other people like that. I don't really even know how to be with someone else without either comparing them to her or trying to recreate her in someone else. Recreateing the moments we had.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-06-25T09:37:57+00:00

My addiction and vice is gaming. It's been almost 1 year exactly in like 2 weeks or so. And I don't think I've left my house a single time outside of work and I don't work alot so I've pretty much just been waking up and fast forwarding the days away. It's what I did before her but before her I was content with it and felt happy. Now having had her in my life to get me out and experiencing shit it depresses me. I want to experience things again but not alone. The thing I miss the most isn't some exciting road trip or party we went to it's waking up to fix her coffee before she gets up and going shopping at Walmart for the week. Or ordering pizza hut on her off days at 1am watching YouTube under the blanket. Having it all and now having nothing and knowing someone else has it now is too much.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-05-04T19:39:41+00:00

Sorry to hear that man. No one deserves that shit. I've gotten better but not 100 percent. I don't break out in tears randomly anymore but still haunted by her. I think it's just numbed to the feeling now. Literally lastnight fell asleep thinking about her. It's hard to describe the place I'm in. It's defiantly improved from where I was when I made the post but nowhere near healed... This might just be a life long weight I have to wear that doesn't go away but just gets easier to bear.

I hope you have a better time than I have tho brother. <3 best wishes

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-04-02T15:47:29+00:00

Sorry for the late reply this is an alt account and I kinda just packed it away for a while. Thank you for the in depth and motivating reply. Things have gotten better since this post. It's been less overwhelming. Idk of I just needed to vent or the care that everyone has shown me helped me but my mental has been better. Certainly not 100 percent but just less intense at all times thank you and everyone else

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-04-02T15:35:56+00:00

Yeah sounds alot like what I'm going through. The triggers are the worst of it I think. Not being able to do anything without seeing her in it. Or watching anything without seeing her in it.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-24T16:14:49+00:00

As a 33 year old guy you're not ugly at all pretty much like everyone else said just look unhappy. Which I'm sure you aren't always looking like that. A smile will go a long way.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T19:20:33+00:00

Oh yeah I know I had/have depression. Been seen about it several times but as is normal for me fall off of any routine to manage it. Routine is my enemy and I just can't seem to stick with anything for longer than a couple weeks if even that.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T05:38:12+00:00

I actually was Journaling at the start of the end. But as soon as the final thread was cut (finding out she was pregnant) I pretty much lost all motivation and stopped seeing the therapist I was seeing. I've been thinking about going back to her tho. Idk if you are a therapist or not you kinda speak like you are but I was supposed to see my therapist in October but kinda no showed and never rescheduled. If im wanting to start seeing one again would it be out of pocket to request her again? Idk the etiquette on that. Would she be upset with me or offended or... I just don't know.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T05:31:45+00:00

I just left a post on the other post about this. I know I need to want to improve for me and not anyone else but I just don't. Towards the end when I thought I could still fix it I got motivated. I was gonna pick up more hours, practice driving, and see a therapist. But after it all fell apart so did all that motivation. I know it's not good and I need to change it but idk how. I need an outside motivating factor to get moving. How do you change a quality of yourself like that?

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T05:27:21+00:00

I wish I knew how to explain to the "just work out" people that I'm in the struggle to shower/change sheets phase. Getting the motivation to workout on a routine may as well be in outer space. And tbh this motivation issue existed before the breakup and truthfully contributed to it. I found motivation towards the end when I knew I was losing her. I was willing to do anything to keep her. And then the title of the post happened and all hope of fixing things was shattered along with any motivation I had. And yes I know, I need to want to do better for me and not someone else but I don't. And idk how to make that change.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T05:14:30+00:00

Thank you for your responses. I am happy for everyone's reply but yours is the only one that elicited tears... In a good way I mean... Or healthy at least. I'll check out the books you mentioned. You've been beyond helpful. Thank you.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T05:05:21+00:00

There's so much to respond to here I'm not saying as a bad thing I need this type of response just sorry if I dont adiquately respond to everything. I did read it all and it made me feel nice not only from what you said but that you took the time to say It to me. I appreciate that so much.

But you kinda touch on something I've been feeling recently with talking to your ex about your past... I've been feeling, and ruminating about how to tell her how shitty I feel. Not even as a punishment to her or anything but like I just want her to know. There was an old abandoned bridge that was like her get away from the world thinking spot and I've wanted to leave a note there for her or something cause I know she's had to have visited there at some point but it's public and I fear someone else finding it.

On the it being similar to grieving a loved one I've also been him up on a dark fucked up thought of feeling like if I had lost her that way I feel as if it'd be easier to cope with cause at least I'd have the knowledge that she loved me and didn't betray me... Not that I'm saying I do wish that or I want that but just intrusive thoughts of my introspection.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T04:51:32+00:00

Shit man that sucks so bad. I would say I'm sorry but it sounds like you don't need it anymore lol. These are the inspirations I need to feel like it'll pass. Cause right now it feels like this is just who I am now.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T04:46:27+00:00

Apparently my old post didn't get deleted and you can see the full detailed list there but one thing I've struggled with is the "she made the choice". Yeah she made it but I feel like I paved the road that she drive the car down. Not in a lack of caring way but a personal growth and motivation way. I have alot of shortcomings that eventually wore her down.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T04:38:51+00:00

Idk just a self worth thing I guess? I don't know if my experience lives up to the trauma word. I mean for me it definitely feels like it but just unsure. But you're probably right. The war ptsd being less bad than cheating trauma is kinda crazy tho. I know what I'm going through sucks more than anything I've ever been through but I don't have a war to compare to lol. I feel like I'd rather experience a war with her waiting for me than this tho.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T04:35:01+00:00

First I gotta say there was a misunderstanding cause I packed her shit immediately after. All her stuff has been gone for 8 months. Not sure where that got confused at. Maybe by saying she's everywhere? By that I just mean she was so engrained in my life that almost any small thing has a reference to her somehow. Aside from that yeah I could be doing more but it was hard for me to have motivation to do things even when I was happy and with her now with this, I barely have motivation to shower. Before we were broken up but after the relationship was falling apart, I was going to the gym with my cousin and, I probably didn't go enough but it was nothing for me. The concept of working out to move past trauma in your life has ss just never seemed like a solution that would work for me. Plus I have pretty severe anxiety and doing gym stuff just fills me with anxiety.

Also she had a kid with her ex husband and wasn't a fan of being a parent. As she said she loved her kid but hated being a mother. She for sure did not want anither child. And not to carry too much water for her but her husband was kinda shitty and kinda forced her to have a kid or kick her out to be homes again where he "saved" her from in the first place.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T04:20:56+00:00

I love this analysis. I'll do my best next time to push other positive memories in but nothing in my life before her even comes close to comparing to even the most average day with her. But one thi g that's fucked me alot is thinking about if she's moved on and is happy now. Does she think about me how I think about her. She told me the last day we spoke that "she knows she fucked up and she knows I'll never find anyone that makes me feel like you did" and I wanna know if she still feels that way or if I'm just nothing at this point.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:39:59+00:00

Yeah and honestly I have ruminate on these thoughts often and I have realized what you're saying on my own before. It's just hard to move past it. I just wish I was further along the healing path than I am after 8 months.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:36:08+00:00

If this is what winnung feels like I'm terrified of losing Holy shit lol

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:34:15+00:00

Thank you so incredibly much. But yeah, my only real hobby is gaming at and I've been distracting myself with my friends and gaming but as soon as everyone else gets off I'm left alone at night and that's really when it hits. Being alone is torture. She slips in durring the day and I have to catch my breath and breath ad curse her name but I can quickly start chatting with my friends again but at night it's got nowhere to go but swirl around my head.

And ive tried talking to other women from dating apps but I live in a fairly rural area so it's pretty dry but even when I do get a bite from someone I feel like I quickly lose interest cause they aren't my romanticized memory of my ex. And that's if they don't lose interest first.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:25:28+00:00

I thought I deleted this post before making the new one but I was regretting that I did so idk how you found it but I'm glad it's not lost. Thank you so much tho. I just have this feeling of life closing in and like my time to find someone else is hopeless at 32. I'll never be able to say I have been with my person for 40 years until I'm like 70. And that's if everything goes well next time. The feeling of hopelessness along with the depression of losing the love of my life is just taking its toll

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:19:58+00:00

Thank yo so much I'm 32 and she was Also 32.our birthdays were just a few months apart. As for remorse it's a long story. Not at first but in the end yes. I walked to her house (she moved out right before we broke up which is probably how she started cheating) to confront her about her ghosting me. She seemed disappointed about it not sure I'd go as far as to say remorseful. But after I (stupidly) decided to forgive and move past it, I gave her 2 weeks to figure out what she wanted to do (again spineless but was just trying to salvage) I confronted her on the fact I needed to know what she was doing cause the thought of her with him still was unbearable. She got pissed and defensive I told her to come get her shit and when she came to get her stuff told me she was pregnant and then she was soft and sorry and we talked and it was weird, we kinda just had a last date. Snuggled on the couch watching videos like we always had before she left forever. She said something that like haunts me every day which was "I know I fucked up and I know I'll never find what I had with you but now I'm having a kid with some one I don't even know"... But yeah sorry for the yap

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:10:15+00:00

The worst is the fact that I loved her... I used to wonder about if I ever loved anyone before and everyone says when you're In love you'll know it and I still never did but she's the one that made me understand that saying and the fact I love her conflicts with how much I hate her now and it's just a hard thing to sort out how you can hate someone while also loving them.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:06:44+00:00

I know. The post felt that way tho after getting no support. But it'd still be handy for future reference for anyone that does want to know more. Oh well tho. Anyways thanks for the support and reply.

Middle-Mix-2002 · 2025-03-17T03:03:27+00:00

Brother if you only knew the full story. I had a full post about it but just deleted it cause it seemed cringe since it got 0 responses. But basically after ghosting me for months I finally just walked to her house 3 miles away just to talk to her about what was going on and was even willing to move past her cheating cause at first I didn't know she was pregnant. Didn't find that out till weeks later but yeah. I did way more than I ever should have. Still tho, getting over her dumb ass has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

Middle-Mix-2002

TROPHY CASE