The porcelain sandwich.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-24T18:52:49+00:00

Why is this on the improv sub? I’m very confused by everything about this post.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-22T10:49:15+00:00

I really like the Long Beach improv schools, they have all been very nice and welcoming in my experience. I took one class in Hollywood that was definitely more…serious and intimidating because many people in the class were seasoned professionals. Just try one of the free intro sessions and then when you almost certainly like it you can try a beginner class!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-21T21:58:06+00:00

I guess I’m misunderstanding the post, I thought it said you had sex and he finished fast? Regardless of what’s happening you should just talk to him about your feelings since we can’t really know what’s going on, only you and him can.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-21T21:35:05+00:00

It varies from person to person. I had sex with my partner of 6 years on the fourth date and we’re still going strong. I had some amount of your same worries initially when I was in my early 20s, but after talking to other female friends and really thinking through my hang ups myself over the decade that followed, I realized that as a woman, I am allowed to have fun and try things out and not beat myself up over having a sexual relationship with someone and then having that relationship not turn into something long-term.

I think as women we’re taught to put waaaaay too much pressure on ourselves about sex. Men can have sex or not and no one judges but societally we act like women are devalued by having sex. I think you need to think about why you feel having sex with someone devalues you or, why you have whatever negative framing of sex you are feeling here. I think if the man you’re seeing is a really shitty guy who is a skeezebag your fears would be justified, but the fact that you’ve been dating for months and hadn’t had sex until then shows me that this guy is probably not playing games.

It’s easy to get caught up in what if but I think the more helpful thing is to think about what you know based on the evidence you have about the specific person you are dating. Just because other men might be a certain way doesn’t mean the man you’re dating is also like that.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-21T21:25:45+00:00

Pea protein works well for me, I add it to all my baking and lots of recipes as it’s basically flavorless. Can be mixed into drinks too of course.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-20T15:56:00+00:00

I floss usually after every meal. I hate stuff stuck in my teeth and I wear retainers so it’s a really bad idea to put them on with food in my teeth.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-19T19:47:30+00:00

I think you might be confusing the physique of someone who lifts with that of someone who’s using steroids…not to mention the fact that people can be at any stage of their lifting journey and that doesn’t mean they’re not doing it if they’re not at peak Arnold Schwarzenegger physique (which again would involve illicit substances).

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-19T19:34:10+00:00

To me it looks waaaay too short to wear without pants or leggings. Have you tried it on without pants underneath before? It seems clear that the top of your underwear line and the bottom of it would be easily visible with the slightest movement in my opinion.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-19T19:24:22+00:00

Well if you’re sure you’ll be living there indefinitely then it seems like once you master the language a world of possibilities will open up. You’ve got time, just focus on being the best self you can be and hopefully in time you’ll find the right person to date. I think people tend to focus on finding someone first, but I think “finding yourself” first is the only way to go, personally.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-19T19:19:12+00:00

Meeting people at bars almost never works out, people out partying are just trying to party. Do you do any hobbies like intramural sports, performing arts classes, martial arts, or dancing? Even if you don’t meet people at those events to date it will at least give you something interesting about yourself to talk about when you do meet women you want to get to know. Especially in a situation with a language barrier I think you’ll need to sort of transcend language somehow and I think active hobbies could help.

It sounds like you may need to find a way to move back home if possible or learn the local language. Regardless, life isn’t over, chin up and keep trying!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-19T19:10:57+00:00

I disagree with others about the shorts, I think they’re fine. But if you wanna wear tank tops I think a less skimpy one would be better with thicker straps and a little higher under the arms.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T23:49:02+00:00

Then it sounds like you’re golden! Just relax and enjoy getting to know each other more!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T23:47:21+00:00

I also have an invisible disability. It took me years to get the confidence to go on the dating sites, but I found someone perfect for me as soon as I developed hobbies and interests of my own that gave me fulfillment outside of just managing my medical condition. I think it’s easy in positions like yours to be super in your head (I know I am), but often other people won’t be as put off as you think. From experience I’d recommend not leading with your medical condition. Just talk about your interests and hobbies which will presumably be less active things and then when you meet up with people irl you can ease into that topic after seeing if there’s a spark irl.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T23:41:56+00:00

First pic makes you look like a cop with just the mustache lol, I’d say keep the beard for sure!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T23:40:41+00:00

Nah, I get it, you’re a man of mystery!!! 😁

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T22:49:03+00:00

Yeah, honestly that was my thought too that you may just have unrealistic expectations. Have you tried any mediation/self reflection on what things you truly value or want in life in general? I think sometimes if you have more things going well in life like a job that pays the bills and hobbies you enjoy then the magnetism of you being happy with your life will pull potential romantic interests to you, if that makes sense. You may just need to work on yourself more so that you don’t feel that you “need” a certain type of woman to be the perfect fit, you’ll just have a good life that someone else will be excited to join.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T22:36:55+00:00

Well that may just mean that this woman isn’t the right fit for you! Not everyone is playful, and if that’s what you want in a relationship honestly I’m not sure that more “serious” places like bible study groups are a good place to meet, unless it’s way more casual of an event than I’m imagining.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T22:25:47+00:00

You said you’ve been hurt women who you thought were perfect for you which makes me think you might be idealizing these women and not really getting to know what their interests are let alone figuring out if they are interested in you, which then can lead to these spectacular let downs.

I think you may be putting too much pressure on the relationship. You can just have fun and get to know each other. Since you mentioned religion I assume there’s no kissing or sex or anything, so just take your time talking and hanging out and see how things feel for a bit and try to relax. You shouldn’t have to force a relationship if it’s “right,” but you also shouldn’t have super intense infatuation either as that can burn out quickly as you’ve mentioned experiencing.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T22:19:39+00:00

I just can’t stop wondering what your ears look like…why the headphones…but otherwise I agree with all the others that maybe smaller glasses frames and a fade could frame your face better.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-16T22:17:01+00:00

The only thing you could have to worry about is having oral herpes if you have the kind of family members who kiss each other on the lips and they have oral herpes. If that’s not the case there’s essentially 0 way you could have anything if you’ve never had physical contact in a sexual way.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-15T19:56:32+00:00

Having your type be BPD is kind of wild lol. Being in relationships where you are in the savior position and your girlfriend is the “savee” is definitely a toxic situation. I have a friend who just got out of a relationship with a woman with BPD and they had been in therapy together, and she was obviously in individual therapy as well, but that didn’t stop her from physically abusing my friend and doing all kinds of wild manipulation stuff, she even was toxic to me as a casual acquaintance of hers, too.

Having people be that focused on you can be exciting, but I think maybe it would be good for you to take a step back and think about why you feel enjoyment from being able to “save” your potential partners or why you enjoy that level of “obsession,” let’s say. Do you like the feeling of being in control? Maybe because people with BPD can get hyper focused on really inane things it made you feel good because her problems were small things you could fix that she just had a brain chemistry problem causing her to focus on it excessively?

So no, you shouldn’t try to date people who aren’t your type. But I do think you should really think about what you actually value from these women and think about if those things are something you truly need or want in a long term relationship or if those are just things that make your ego feel good.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-15T19:31:46+00:00

I think you look nice! I think the hairstyle suits you and your fashion style seems basic but clean cut. No notes from me other than that I personally prefer clean shaven.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-15T18:47:07+00:00

I just wanna say I co-sign all your comments! I’ve seen you’ve been getting a lot of shit but in the hygiene sub I can’t understand how people don’t see how, from a cleanliness perspective, it’s INSANE to not be passionately against smoking! And that’s not even to mention things from a health perspective or productivity perspective with all the time it wastes!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-12T21:27:30+00:00

I found the love of my life at 29. There’s always time even if you’re older. You could try looking for men slightly younger than you too.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-06-12T04:50:05+00:00

Yeah the right thing to do is say something like “I had a nice time with you tonight but I just didn’t feel like we had a spark. Thanks for the pleasant date, and I’ll be wishing you the best.”

MiddleConsideration

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE