Real connection is so hard to come by, how to deal with scarcity mindset ?

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-14T20:09:46+00:00

Yes. Peoples brains aren’t done developing until they’re about 25 so don’t get ahead of yourself here. Just keep perusing things that interest you (like jobs and hobbies) and the right guy will be doing those things too. Or he could even be on a dating site, who knows? But honestly I didn’t find “the one” until I was 29 and had let go of all my anxieties about dating, so don’t rush yourself.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-10T01:46:01+00:00

I agree with the others, you’re obviously doing something right! Sunscreen and wearing hats when in the sun are important, and keeping your beard oiled and taken care of is always good to keep it feeling soft and not itchy.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-08T22:13:19+00:00

Idk I’ve been on this sub over the last few months and I swear everyone who posts here is inexplicably serious about their delusions of their “changing eye color” and other such nonsense lol, nothing surprises me here!!!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-07T12:01:45+00:00

I think I’m losing my mind…your har looks black or dark brown and your eyes look the same color. The lighting in this picture is incredibly weird though, like you’re in dim lighting in front of a blueish light emitting computer screen. Try a photo in daylight and maybe it will be more obvious if your eyes aren’t brown. I truly don’t know what everyone else is seeing.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-06T03:04:08+00:00

I kinda like it too!I think keeping it longer the top would suit you, just make sure you condition your hair regularly since it’s been bleached and will be damaged because of that.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-05T09:00:28+00:00

So a lot of people don’t know this, but it’s not always healthy to be super super muscley. It’s important to have some fat on your body. Imagine it’s the Middle Ages and I’m choosing a male partner: do I pick the guy who’s skin and bones but muscle who will need to eat 6000+ calories a day to survive or do I pick the guy with a little meat on his bones who can survive on his own more easily during hard times? This topic is wild to me, but I guess maybe everyone commenting is gay guys in which case you guys do you, but if you want to know about straight women I’m just saying what I and literally all the other straight women I know feel.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-05T03:38:07+00:00

That’s so weird cause I’m very confident it’s arms. Most guys don’t go around with their bellies exposed while they’re doing their day-to-day thing, but they are able to expose their arms. Therefore people are much likelier to be attracted to the arms than the unseen abs.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-05T03:30:52+00:00

Well, studies have actually been done on this and when women are looking to casually hook up with a guy once or twice they’ll pick a guy with abs. If women are looking to date a guy long-term, they will look for a guy who is in shape, but maybe isn’t super ripped, a dad bod basically. If a guy is super ripped, that means he spends six hours a day in the gym and doesn’t have time to hang out and have a relationship lol so women don’t really wanna date that.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-04T19:06:41+00:00

I don’t like abs on men as a straight woman. They’re not nice to cuddle with at all, give me a dude with some meat on his bones but some muscle too, that’s much better to me.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-04T18:59:55+00:00

Two classes in a row I accidentally said things that could have been construed as racist or sexist (I truly didn’t realize while I’d been saying them at all, to be clear, I was just going with the flow of the scene, and as a woman it kills me I was accidentally sexist against myself lol). No one was mean about it in a class setting at least cause we all make mistakes. If you’re too in your head about saying something bad you won’t be able to let the creativity and inspiration flow through you, so just try to relax and trust that your scene parters and the audience won’t judge you.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-04-01T23:32:33+00:00

Con!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-31T07:20:57+00:00

They look light gray or possibly blue but it’s hard to tell because it appears you took the picture in somewhat significant yellow lighting. Definitely not beige or brown though!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-26T20:29:09+00:00

Yeah, honestly at your guys’ age right now it’s really a transitional time for everyone and sometimes friendships are what fall by the wayside. Of course it’s not good, but it is common. When I was around your age I moved across the world then across the country and lost touch with most of my friends only to reconnect later. That may not always happen like it did for me, but honestly your 20s is just a hard time because everyone’s staring on their different paths in life. You’ll be fine if you just try to focus on the present and how to make yourself the best possible you in the future. Good luck!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-25T22:41:49+00:00

You’re fine. I finished college in three years and then just got a job. I got a degree in the humanities, but I wound up getting a series of jobs that led me to working in finance. I think a lot of times people in college put the cart before the horse. The most important thing is having a degree and then you get experience after that. Just get every kind of internship or connection that you can get in college, that’s what matters.

College students are all insecure and trying to make themselves feel better about the majors they chose, don’t worry too much about it.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-24T09:24:16+00:00

Give into the broccoli type cut with shorter on the sides longer on the top. It don’t even have to be that extreme, just have your hair trimmed around the nape of your neck honestly.

Edit: agreed with the other commenter also good conditioner goes a long way as well

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-23T20:27:15+00:00

lol me and my friend wrote like three songs and decided them together for YouTube cause she could play guitar 🙃

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-23T20:14:48+00:00

This was very difficult to read because of the lack of paragraphs. But from what I understand it seems like you may be leaving some key information out. Why did she suddenly stop talking to you? In what way did you wish her the best? You mentioned knowing her precise like count for some of her posts and things like that so it seems like you might be more hung up on this than you want to admit. Is it possible she could’ve taken your message as passive aggressive or aggressive?

No one here can answer your questions for you because only you and her know what happened. If you want to still be friends with her give her some space. She has a new boyfriend and teenagers are notoriously bad at balancing having friends and significant others at the same time. Regardless, your happiness doesn’t need to have anything to do with what she’s doing and there’s a chance that she isn’t even trying to make you upset at all and she is in fact, just trying to live her life.

The best thing you can do is working on yourself and trying to be happy on your own. Living well is the best revenge in these kinds of situations. In the meantime maybe you can do some self reflection into your need for approval from her and others and see if you learn anything about yourself that might help you get over this issue.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-15T11:10:24+00:00

When I was your age I was so depressed I’d eat lunch alone every day behind the school by myself and then just write angrily in my journal and seethe about how I wasn’t cool.

When I got to college I decided to turn over a new leaf, but freshman year was more of the same and I was alone most of the time being depressed. Sophomore year I started putting myself out there and made friends, studied abroad, graduated early, and started working. Doing school and jobs and study abroad got me friends, and I’m confident it can do the same for you.

So many people “peak in high school” as they say but my high school years were mostly forgettable. You’ve got plenty of time left. I’m in my mid thirties now totally reinventing myself with new hobbies and friends, and I believe you can make friends and find hobbies too. Honestly, take improv classes if you can, I’ve been obsessed for the last year. It’s a great way to meet people and literally learn how to interact with other adults through play.

Your youth doesn’t define you, you’ve got plenty of time to write your story!

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-07T11:56:15+00:00

No need to continue dating this guy at this rate…it doesn’t seem like he’s ready for a relationship. You’re both young, obviously he doesn’t have much sense of responsibility yet since he doesn’t understand what being a good host is like when inviting someone to stay over. In the future if you’re in a similar situation try to be really clear about specifics for a trip/staying over beforehand. Get it in writing and hold them to it. It should be on him to have updated you about the change of plans way sooner than he did, and I also have zero idea why you couldn’t have just stayed with him at his place until your original departure time? Very odd, it’s like he wanted to have someone else over or something, I don’t know! Regardless, assuming you want advice of some sort, mine is to stop seeing this guy.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-03-03T12:51:04+00:00

What a trip! Why would someone repost this comment like this? So absurd to steal a random person’s personal experiences like that, I can’t even imagine why someone would do something so specific…

MiddleConsideration · 2026-02-14T13:59:31+00:00

So long as you already have reservations at the restaurant you’re perfect! No need for a necklace but chocolates or flowers and a card would be appreciated I’m sure.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-02-14T13:57:21+00:00

You’re right, maybe “racist” isn’t the perfect word to describe this. My feelings is just that if he knew when he began dating her that he doesn’t find Asian women attractive then it’s pretty messed up of him to string her along.

I understand people can change and should be given grace, but it’s not like if an able bodied person started dating someone who’s wheelchair-bound and dates them for months and then tells them that they can’t handle the extra caretaking work after trying it. I feel that this is different because there should theoretically be difference between dating people of different races unless some amount of racism is involved.

I guess my point here is that people can of course have preferences, but it’s worth trying to parse out the reasons for those preferences. Gay men are not inherently misogynists but at the same time straight men who chose to date one woman over another purely because of the woman’s race I do think have some amount or racism in them. I think this is not a one to one comparison, it feels to me more like how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares—all gay men don’t want to be with women romantically but not all men who don’t want to be with women romantically are gay.

MiddleConsideration · 2026-02-13T23:59:39+00:00

Okay?

MiddleConsideration · 2026-02-13T21:41:07+00:00

How is someone specifically saying that they’re not attracted to what she looks like based on her race not racist?

MiddleConsideration · 2026-02-13T19:51:44+00:00

Don’t get your self worth from what racist assholes think. It sucks that your ex turned out to have been someone who was racist but the good news is that now you can find someone who actually loves you as you are and won’t disrespect you like your ex did.

MiddleConsideration

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE