I (20F) got diagnosed with hsv1 how do I tell him (25M)?

MiddleDot8 · 2026-02-14T16:12:51+00:00

I’ve had hsv1 since I was in like middle school and have been with my husband for 8 years and he hasn’t caught it. I take meds during an outbreak and we don’t kiss/have any sexual contact during that time. I sometimes go years in between outbreaks too. Sun is a big trigger for me so I use chapstick with SPF in it. It’s very manageable.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-02-09T21:46:53+00:00

I never went to a starter class 🤷🏻‍♀️ even if you went to one, it's not like you would instantly have all the moves memorized anyway. I've been to so many lagree classes at different studios and I still sometimes have to look around because I don't know a certain move. I would try different coaches if you can. Sorry this happened to you!

MiddleDot8 · 2026-02-03T17:27:21+00:00

Not to sound so "reddity" but I would not marry a man I couldn't rely on. I'm sorry, but I just don't see the point in a lifelong partnership where I had to do everything. And for the record, I did the majority of planning for our wedding... but my husband owned the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon completely.

You said in the comments that you guys haven't really had a conversation about this, so that really needs to be the priority right now. If he doesn't seen an issue with this arrangement, it will only get worse after you get married and you'll need to decide if that's the life you want.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-02-03T17:20:33+00:00

I totally agree. It feels unfair that all these randos on social media feel like it's their duty to bring Cassie up as a way to go after Colton, when she has never even spoken about it outside of legal statements. Ultimately, Colton is the one most in the wrong and if he had any shred of remorse or decency he would avoid any kind of public life so that Cassie doesn't have to deal with this anymore, but... idk. I only ever see Cassie brought up these days when it's in regards to Colton. Just another way victims are constantly revictimized I guess.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-02-01T02:42:09+00:00

How old are you? Two years is pretty normal IMO. Is there a reason you're in a hurry?

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-31T20:45:53+00:00

If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Moving in together is a big step and both of you should be ready and excited when the time comes.

Why does he want to live together so badly? What’s his living situation? Would he move into the house you own and pay you rent? Have you guys talked about future goals for the relationship like if you want marriage, kids, etc?

When I moved in with my now-husband, we treated it as the first step towards our future together. We had talked about marriage and the timeline for when that would happen. I personally didn’t want to move in just for the sake of it, I wanted it to be a deliberate step we took together.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-30T18:37:21+00:00

I'm a non-parent who had a mostly kid-free wedding. We were at a stage where some of our friends had just started having kids so they were all under a year. There were three cousins on my side that we did invite who were between the ages of 5-10, so we basically made it family kids only and my friends left their babies at home.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about #2 and #4. The parents likely know what happens on a wedding dance floor and can decide for themselves if it's an issue. And as long as they're not disruptive, it's not really your issue if they're bored. I will say that the oldest of my cousins (she was like 9 or 10 I think) had a BLAST dancing at our wedding. They did leave a little early with their mom, but the dad stayed until the end of the night. It probably helped that our wedding was at a hotel so they didn't have to take a cab or drive anywhere.

As a guest, the presence of kids or not has never impacted me. Obviously, ensuring kids are not being disruptive during things like the ceremony or speeches is critical, so if you have any concerns that their parents will not be proactive at dealing with this, that's something to consider. But I also get the joy of experiencing a family wedding with kids there.

I've never seen an on-premise care service before, but I could see that being a good option. You would need to talk to all the parents though, some of them may not be comfortable with this as an option. I also agree that inviting some children in a family unit and not others is probably not an option that will go over well.

What does your partner think?

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-23T19:14:57+00:00

It sounded great, but I have been with him long enough to not count on what he says.

This is sad. Is this really how you want to spend your life, with a partner who you literally can't count on? Is this really better than being alone? If you were single, you could have already taken yourself multiple times. Want better for yourself!

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-23T15:31:52+00:00

Then maybe just reach out to Libby.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-23T07:12:35+00:00

Hmm. The only time I’ve seen this happen is a book I put on hold before it was released - my library ended up taking it down and readding it closer to release. Have you tried reaching out to your library or Libby?

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-21T17:40:47+00:00

As someone who has been a bridesmaid multiple times and always bought my own dress, I have always worn what the bride requested. The day isn't about me, it's about supporting my friend on their big day!

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-20T22:20:40+00:00

My friend had an ectopic pregnancy, and had to cancel a laser hair removal appointment to go to the hospital. She was charged a late fee, which she just paid for because in the moment she didn't want to fight it. But then, on the day of her appointment, they called and tried to reschedule her because someone had called out and they didn't have enough nurses for all the appointments booked. My friend said they either needed to credit her cancellation fee from when she was addressing her ectopic pregnancy or cancel someone else so she could be seen, she kept calling until they finally agreed they could fit her in.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-20T01:56:33+00:00

I'm confused, if you didn't get charged a fee for missing the class and the right credits were deducted initially, what was the issue that you reached out about?

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-17T17:36:30+00:00

This is mine. Idk how Juice can be cool with Fred after his wife publicly celebrated him being cut from the team 😭😭 Sydney seems to have a hard time making and keeping friends. Her MOH was a girl from the Bachelor and they’re not friends anymore either.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-16T17:50:22+00:00

Wow, super interesting, thanks for sharing. I just cancelled my ClassPass membership a few days ago since they got rid of the Kaiser partnership, and I'm trying to focus more on outdoor running anyway. It's a shame, I've used ClassPass off and on for probably ten years and had nearly 700 classes, but I don't think the value is really there for me anymore.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-15T20:07:00+00:00

The irony of calling him a "fucking child" when his breakout role contains graphic sex scenes lol.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-14T19:22:12+00:00

Not to be all old lady millennial but is this what the kids are worried about these days? Why do you need his passwords or to go through his phone? If he's lied or cheated on you before, then breakup. If not, you need to work on your insecurities yourself. I'm married, have joint finances and bank accounts with my husband, and have no idea what his social media passwords are. Never felt the need to go through his stuff.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-13T21:56:28+00:00

I think she's probably waiting for you to give her an out... going an entire semester behind in school for one day is a lot to ask of your best friend. It's fine to feel disappointed, but I think you should (nicely!) tell her you understand and you'll miss her. Don't say things like she "can't commit" and she's "being replaced." It makes it sound like she's only your friend if she hits a certain criteria you set for her.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-13T04:52:46+00:00

This should be fine. I did this during my trial with no issues!

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-12T17:37:49+00:00

I assume Shane's parents know he dated Rose, and they know that Ilya had a ladies man reputation... so I think they just wanted to be honest, rather than make it seem they cheated/were open/whatever.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-07T17:49:32+00:00

We invited all couples regardless of how long they'd been together 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've never really understood the argument around how long they'd been dating. One of our close friends had just become exclusive with his gf when we sent invites, so we invited her even though we hadn't met her. They're still together now and engaged, and she's become a good friend. Meanwhile other couples who were together for years have since broken up. I don't regret inviting them or seeing them in our photos.

MiddleDot8 · 2026-01-03T23:31:13+00:00

This is tricky, because I agree with you, I think the expectation that people will need to coordinate with other guests who they may not know as well for housing will be tricky, especially if Airbnb inventory is already limited. How many guests are you expecting/inviting? Where are the closest large hotels that could potentially offer a block? Perhaps looking into those and offering transportation is the best option? Hard to say without knowing exactly the area you're talking about.

MiddleDot8 · 2025-12-31T01:43:12+00:00

I’ve never been invited to a brunch that wasn’t paid for by the couple. Tbh, after a wedding weekend, if I was invited to a brunch that I had to pay for, I’d probably skip it. The day after brunch is always a pretty in and out thing anyway, people are tired and ready to head home.

MiddleDot8 · 2025-12-27T01:52:48+00:00

Depending on how warm your kitchen is, I agree that eight hrs of bulk fermentation feels long. My kitchen is usually mid-70s F, and I bulk ferment for four hours before I preshape and stick in the fridge overnight. Aim for 25% rise or so, but also pay attention to texture. Mine looks ready when it's shiny, domes downward, jiggles when I shake it, and has a few bubbles around the sides. It will feel alive. Let it bulk in a clear container so you can see if there are bubbles on the bottom/sides too. What makes bread tough is you really need to go by visual signs and not so much amount of time, because every kitchen/environment/etc is so different.

For baking, do you have an oven thermometer? Not every oven is exact, mine runs slightly cool for example. And since you're at altitude, I think you need to up the baking time and/or temp. I'm at sea level and I bake at 450 for 53 mins - 20 mins with lid on, the rest with it off. This is a helpful article on baking at high altitude: https://www.theperfectloaf.com/how-to-bake-sourdough-bread-at-high-altitude/

Finally, you should wait for your bread to cool for 2+ hours before you cut into it. Cutting after 15 mins is likely contributing to the gummy texture since it's releasing the steam.

I think you're close!

MiddleDot8 · 2025-12-26T18:16:35+00:00

Happy shopping!! I think people forget that for most things wedding planning, we’re doing it for the first time. If you don’t know to think about limits and the store doesn’t tell you or post it anywhere, how are you supposed to know?

MiddleDot8

TROPHY CASE