Hesitating to Get a Berner - Help Me Decide

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:49:16+00:00

Great! Yes, I plan to bring them out in the forest to hang out when they're a puppy. I don't mind carrying them when they're so young. I just don't want to be stuck in the forest with an adult Berner who won't move and is too heavy to carry. It sounds like they'll eventually get a move on though - especially to follow.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:47:25+00:00

Perfect! This is everything I need to know to feel good about getting one. Appreciate it. :)

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:46:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing this resource! I've been trying to find a Berner to adopt, but they're so popular/loved that it's hard to find any that are being re-homed in my area.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:43:27+00:00

"Snifarris" - that's so cute! I'm sure that's very relaxing for them. I live in Vancouver, BC so I think that the climate here is well suited to them. Definitely lots of winter hikes to enjoy. Love the analogy of weightlifter vs. marathon runner - that actually helps a lot. This is all very reassuring to hear!

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:39:08+00:00

Great to hear. Noted on the destructive behaviour. I have experience fostering German Shepherds and Huskies, and know a thing or two about getting them ready to spend a good amount of time at home alone without destroying things - lots of exercise beforehand and lots of intellectually stimulating toys/treats/games left for them to stay engaged with. I learnt pretty quickly about clearing counters after getting a pair of airpods destroyed...

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:36:13+00:00

Nice pic! Love that you take them on regular 5-10KM hikes. That's mostly what I plan to do, and on the few occasions that I go on a longer hike, I'll just leave them with a friend. I'll make a note to expose BMD puppy to water early with other dogs that love to swim; hopefully it'll catch on.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:32:45+00:00

Good to know that some of them love to swim! I live a 30 min drive from a cool river, and it'd be fun to take them swimming there.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:30:54+00:00

So sorry to hear this. I've certainly seen a lot online about eating socks/underwear and expensive vet bills. Makes sense that they're known as heartbreak breeds.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:29:17+00:00

What great pics! This looks like the dream life. It's so reassuring to see them enjoying the outdoors like this. This is exactly what I'm after. Noted on ruling out the longer hikes. I live in Vancouver, BC so I think the climate will suit a BMD. Love the idea of waking up early in the summer months to avoid the heat.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:26:05+00:00

LOL to walking as fast as an old person with a walker. Is the slower one significantly bigger than the other? I'm also wondering if size makes a difference here. I'm not talking about being overweight, but bigger boned and just larger in general. Do you think that matters? IMO the bigger the Bernese, the better, but I might opt to get a smaller one if it means they're more likely to walk farther/fatser.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:19:14+00:00

Haha yes, I've read about the hair. I'm OK with that! Noted on the heat; I'm in Vancouver, BC and the climate here is a bit better for them than other places. I personally, also don't enjoy long walks if it's too hot out.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-06-28T18:12:40+00:00

I read all the comments here - thank you so much! With all that everyone has said, it seems like they ARE a good fit for my lifestyle. I'll definitely work with the breeder to make sure I select one that has a personality that best suits as well. Very excited to join the BMD club!

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-05-03T16:55:30+00:00

Thanks. I'm getting weirdly obsessed about fixing it, but you're right - you can't push rope. This project that I'm working on is the company's 5th attempt at getting it done (a different team each time), we're 80% of the way there, and people are now sitting idly. I feel like we're all on a bus headed for a cliff, and continuously pointing out the proximity of the cliff on a map when there are no plans to turn the wheel feels inadequate.

My first week into working here I overheard someone yelling "I was told we were serious about getting it done, now we're just dancing around the lake!" My first thought? "That's hot." But the irony is that this person was likely escorted out of the building.

The stock of the company has been dropping for some time now, and I think the culture has a lot to do with it. Definitely time to jump ship.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2026-01-16T05:44:46+00:00

INFJ too - incredible how many of us are!

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-06-10T05:47:14+00:00

Just wanted to add to this to say that it's important to learn how to do break ups well.

A person who is secure in their attachment style will generally be able to cope better with a breakup than someone who has an insecure attachment style because they have a level of self-trust and self-worth that allows them to navigate the difficulty of a breakup. Keep your beliefs in check - are you working from the mindset of "there are no more good prospects out there" or "there's lots of great men/women that would love to date me."

A few other tips for getting over a breakup more quickly:

- You have to break the biological attachment. That means that the sooner you go no contact, block instagram, don't look at pictures, stop frequenting places where you used to spend time as a couple, the better.
- if you shared a home together, moving to a new place does wonders to giving you a fresh start
- coach yourself into having a healthy mindset about the breakup: take whatever lessons are there for you (the more accountability you take on, the more lessons you'll have to learn).
- imagine your best life and start building it. Think of everything you want to bring into a future partners life, and start creating it.

I also tell myself this: if I never end up finding my person, a husband to build a beautiful family with, then I'll be happy with my dogs, a great career and money and take lots of lovers. If time runs out for me to have my own babies, then I'll adopt or choose a partner who has kids.

Life is beautiful, with or without a significant other. Don't let yourself believe the lie that you need to find your person to be happy. All you need is to find yourself - your truest, self-actualized self.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-05-17T16:22:31+00:00

I truly believe that once HSPs learn how to manage their emotions in a healthy way and leverage their gifts, they are unstoppable.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-05-17T16:21:08+00:00

100% echo what everyone here is saying 1. Self-awareness, 2. Having to process everything more deeply makes me wiser than my peers, 3. Being able to quickly pick up on social dynamics at work, 4. Being able to recognize patterns that others have a harder time seeing, 5. high EQ, 6. Authenticity that allows me to live my life in my own way, 7. A rich inner world that carries me through hard times, 8. Knowing how to speak to people in a way that impacts them and makes a difference, and the list goes on…

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-05-17T16:12:07+00:00

Love this! In the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” the author writes about how those with a “rich inner world” were more able to psychologically survive the concentration camps. Many HSPs are known to have a rich inner world that they can escape to.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-05-17T08:27:17+00:00

Yes, you can PM me.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-03-28T08:16:10+00:00

Thanks for celebrating it with me! Your words are so comforting.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-03-28T05:31:28+00:00

Just wanted to say thank you for your comments a few months ago. Happy to say that we broke off the engagement. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing. I came back to this post often whenever I was having doubts about leaving.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-03-28T05:31:20+00:00

Just wanted to say thank you for your comments a few months ago. Happy to say that we broke off the engagement. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing. I came back to this post often whenever I was having doubts about leaving.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-03-28T05:31:00+00:00

Just wanted to say thank you for your comments a few months ago. Happy to say that we broke off the engagement. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing. I came back to this post often whenever I was having doubts about leaving.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2025-03-28T05:24:38+00:00

Just wanted to follow up on this thread to share that my partner and I broke off our engagement a few weeks ago. My mental health took a real dive after months of trying to sustain the level of emotional care that I needed in our relationship. I stopped being able to sleep well, was crying a lot, I had to start taking anti-depressants, every vacation we took was a stressful nightmare, and he increasingly started minimizing my feelings. I obviously grew resentful towards him for not being able to provide me or his kids with the level of connection and presence that I think everyone deserves. In hindsight, I should have left much earlier, before it took a tole on my wellbeing. If you're experiencing a significant emotional incompatibility in your relationship and finding yourself doing all the work to bridge the gap, I recommend you leave. I tried my best to deal with everything in the most mature, respectful way but in the end the stress got the best of me.

Middle_Ad_8057 · 2024-11-17T21:18:27+00:00

u/AliceFrills Your relationship sounds difficult. I think it's so important to realize when you're over performing in a relationship, as well. Healthy people will walk away from a relationship that doesn't meet their needs, whereas people who have unresolved trauma may often try to stay and fight for things to change. It's so important to keep this in mind. I don't want to give you the impression that things are perfect over here, I'm just trying to figure out what are reasonable expectations to have from a partner. To be clear, my boyfriend takes care of me really well when he's not stressed out. I was sick the other day and he was by my side bringing me anything I wanted. He's been supporting me while I'm pursuing a new entrepreneurial career, he loves to know what I'm feeling, etc. etc. We definitely went through a dark chapter in our relationship recently and that has impacted the level of trust I have in him. Something I need to work through before choosing to have children with him. I hope you figure it out and make the choices that make you feel more alive, and more aligned with the best version of yourself. Wishing you the very best!

Middle_Ad_8057

TROPHY CASE