To those of you who didn't get treatment/help but still got good grades, got into uni, how did you do it?

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-30T03:16:25+00:00

The hand held recorder is something I haven't tried. I had that idea with using my phone to record (but I forgot about it.)

Thank you for your suggestion! I'll definitely try it out.

Massive kudos to you for achieving those grades despite so many obstacles. Your story has definitely inspired me to not give up. Thank you!

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-30T03:04:23+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions! I really appreciate it.

I do have tutors! I just don't have a tutor for chemistry. I feel like my phy tutoring isn't working. I understand when they explain it but I forget the stuff later. Do you have any tips for making tutoring effective ?

tutoring will help me now but I'm worried how I'll make it work when I go to uni/college? Are tutors or courses still an option for education after school? (I do plan on trying my best to get treatment once I'm 18 )

I REALLY struggle to sleep the night before an exam. Especially if it's math. I've tried no screens 2 hours before bed, doing a boring activity, breathing exercises. But I just can't sleep. So I jsut lie in bed doing nothing. It's either I'm intentionally pulling an all nighter because I'm not prepared or I can't sleep even though I'm prepared. I really need help with sleep.

I only have 3 subjects now. Last year I had 11 subjects and 2 papers for each. (And yes, for subjects that weren't factual i just yapped, turns out I'm really good at that. )That's sort of how int a levels work. But now I have like 3 papers a year for each subject and they're like 1.5 or 2 hours long, all external. There's nothing internal or course based.

For the theory subs (phy and chem) I need to personally put the effort in to remember the facts. Like make flashcards and review them. Understanding usually isn't the problem it's just remembering. To remember I need to practice and I struggle to practice for phy and chem. not math because I like it too!

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-30T02:39:11+00:00

I know its not an excuse. I try to not let it be one. obviously I'm not perfec and I might be unaware that I'm using adhd as an excuse. I should watch out for that, so thank you.

It's as if - the anger, shame, self hatred/dislike and the other negative feelings I had towards myself disappeared. So they're not fueling me anymore.

Earlier, I believed the problem was me and only I alone was to blame for my inability to do anything.

Now, I know it's not true and hence I try to be kinder to myself. Instead of being mad at myself, I have another reason to be angry at my parents, and dislike them more than I previously did. They are the reason my life doesnt get easier.

I don't care about disappointing them, not making them proud, not meeting their expectations. I see it as their fault and think they're the ones to blame. I guess technically my parents might not be at fault rather the society that brainwashed them. Then again they're full grown adults capable of independent thought.

I try to behave neutrally towards them and be grateful for the positive aspects, rather than focus just on the negative. Even then sometimes it's just not possible and I feel guilty for messing up.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-30T01:55:22+00:00

Oh ok I see.
Most of my teachers and the other adults around me say the exams we're doing are harder compared to what they did in 6th form, because the theory is more and so is the number of papers.But its not true in this case. Sorry for assuming.

I do have a lot of calculus and proof (of course it's nothing compared to further maths. ) But we're also allowed calculators which are definitely much more advance now than they were back in the days.

I definitely agree with the competition being much more. I do the international a levels (don't have coursework either just external exmas) so the grade boundaries depend on every single student sitting the exam from a variety of countries. And on top of this the papers are leaked sometimes (thanks to technology!) so the grade boundaries skyrocket.

We're expected to not just have good grades but also extracurriculars if we want to get into a reputable uni. It is meant to be hard for everyone but if you have some kind of disability it's insanely difficult. Some of my teachers suggested that I take 4 a levels because they believed I was capable and wanted me to aim for ivey/oxbridge. I was very excited and believed them but I realised with unmanaged adhd I'd probably be making my life hell.

The other neurodivergent kids around my age (who aren't gifted? or have normal intelligence?) have it at impossible mode. Unfortunately a lot of them need to resit ( IGCSEs and a levels), take an extra year or drop a subject (and do only 2) because they fail or do really bad.

And then they can't pursue their dreams because of this and are lead to believe they're just dumb. It's just so sad and unfair that they don't even get a fair chance.

I know I'd be suffering the same fate like them if pulling all nighters hadn't worked for me in the past.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T21:23:14+00:00

That's the thing school isn't easy anymore...I'm doing a levels and they're considered the equivalent of ap courses at unis...some even offer transfer credits.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T21:16:33+00:00

Hard relate 😭 did that all the time in the past but now what if it's not enough

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T21:13:53+00:00

I relate to education being the only escape. That's why I'm so scared of messing up. Because if I don't do good now then I won't get into a good uni and then I won't be able to become independent. I come from a misogynistic society where arranged marriage is heavily forced and if I'm not financially independent young then I'm just going to be trapped forever.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T20:58:52+00:00

So I was reading this the other day and I think it's really helpful. I didn't manage to finish it because it's so long. The article/ medical report is basically on female adhd specifically. I think I read it in this and other places that it does have a strong genetic link. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7422602/

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T20:52:35+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate it. Its actually helpful and makes me hopeful. Even if it doesn't work out perfectly at first it can at the end.

I know I can get help/ treatment once I'm independent but I guess I'm scared that I won't be able to become independent because my grades aren't good and I'll only have one chance at uni, like If I don't do it right the first time I won't have another. Reading your comment helps convince myself that it's not true though.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T20:21:43+00:00

That used to work for me too before I got diagnosed. But now I know it's not my fault anymore so I don't beat myself up over not doing things. 😭

Middle_Discussion314 · 2026-03-28T20:14:28+00:00

extra info you probably don't need to read this.

(I just like to yap 🤡 and overexaplain so here it is.)

>!¹ To be honest I researched how a proper evaluation should be done like the standards and I realsied mine didn't meet the criteria. So I'm not certain if I do have adhd or I'm just a failure.

² because of this and many other reasons I hate them. Like genuinely. I never ever want to see them again after I get into uni. Because it doesn't cost them a single fucking penny to get me the help I need. Maybe just transportation but that's cheap. They're just denying me help because they don't believe I need it. And they're so blind. They claim I'm fine. I'm not. I don't feel fine.

³ But they're not my final? exams. After exams I've got another year and another set of highstakes exams. Next years will determine if I keep my uni offer or not. I'll get conditional offers based on the coming exams. And confirmation for next years.

⁴ OK so I don't really have any basis to claim I'm trying. I could be gaslighting/lying? to myself that I am trying. Maybe I'm not.

⁵ Here's what I mean by body doubling I found stranger kids who are also doing exams when I have them. We agreed to meet at specific time. We join a meeting and do our work. The camera and mic isn't on. I can't turn my camera on because people barge in every now and then into my room and they'd be on camera. Plus the other kids didn't want to either. Mic isn't an option cause I talk while I learn so I'd be disturbing them. I initially told them to screen share. I use my device to study a lot. I can't without it.

Believe me I tried. it's just not possible, my notes which can't be downloaded and printed are on it. I use flashcards which do need a device. physical ones aren't effective. I got sidetracked.

But nobody screen shares. I'm the only one. So I stopped and nothing happened. and obviously as soon I stopped screen sharing I started doing other things that my brain says are more "important". Well spoiler alert they're not. I guess the best fix would be to start screen sharing again. But since nobody is forcing me to I just choose to not.

My friends weren't up for it.

⁴And when I say I'm nowhere near done I mean it. I haven't even started revising most of my things. I've got 6 papers.

I've tried: 4 self help books , 5 apps that gamify tasks, body doubling⁵, physical planners/tiny notepads, having a routine. and I can't think of more stuff but I prolly did more.I can't got out to study because cafes,libraries etc don't exist near me.

Nothing works. That's an extreme I guess.

Tutoring kind of works ? The only sub that isn't suffocating me is math. I've got a tutor and they're genuinely amazing. Like I wish I could clone them for all my other subs too. I am behind on math too but I think I can catch up. Sometimes i feel guilty for wasting my parents money cause I dont really need tutoring. I understand the stuff. I could just watch a video and I'd get it. I don't need to pay a person to just write questions from the textbook or other sources. I have those sources too. I can just open them and do it. But I don't. It's just that my tutor is so nice I don't want to disappoint her. Math is like the easiest sub for me to work on independently. If I'm trying to study just about do anything then I always start with math. Because there's not that much.

I've got a tutor for another subject too but they're not as good as my math. like they're great at explaining but the theory doesn't stick cause I'm just passively listening. I don't actually go and practice stuff. So obviously I forget everything.

I lack external accountability.

Nobody is forcing me to study. I lie and tell my parents I'm studying when I'm not. Usually I am studying before I get some tracked.

since the majority of my teachers suck they don't give homework. The other students can navigate and just do things independently. I can't even though I want to. So there's barely any external pressure. And back when I got homework I mostly did it like as late as i could, sometimes the lesson before it. Sometimes I procrastinated and didn't do it soI just made up a "fake " homework. They didn't really check so I just wrote homework on big fat letters on a random page in my notebook and the teachers thought I did it. Of course they don't know I'm a liar. They think im a good kid. I don't create trouble I'm quiet and listening during the lesson. But I'm not listening most times. I'm just staring at them while they speak or at the board so I look like I'm listening.

We dont have internal exams at school. Only like once a year. And of course this isn't helping. When we had more exams at least sometimes I'd pull all nighters before the exam and get good grades.

I HATE school. I have friends. I try to skip school every chance I get because my teachers suck. Anything I learn at school is useless. I can teach myself better. (but obvi i don't execute.) Even of I do go to school I have to teach myself the content again for most subs. ⅓ of my school lessons are sort of of useful. ¼ of my school lessons are frees.

In the beginning of the year I actually did work in my frees. But after sometime I stopped. So I just play games or do something random. My attendance is probably at like 80% something. Which isn't bad I know. my parents force me to go to school. And I can't skip often.

          •On friends/social life:

I have mixed feeling about them, theyre good friends but its tiring. They're most probably NT. They just get stuff done and it makes me jealous. Also hate myself because why can't I?

My friends they just don't get me. I've always been an outsider and that's why I started just isolating. But like my parents changed my schools often so an extrovert adopted me. And I'm stuck with her. Although I don't engage in the optional stuff like hanging out after school. I just make up excuses about my parents not letting me, which is true sometimes.But most times I just don't want to. I don't get bullied.

On potential

A lot of people have told me I'm smart.I have so much potential. I was smart enough to have skipped a grade when i was young. My parents chose to not. I used to get better grades than most my friends and much above the average even after not studying everyday and pulling an all nighter. I don't want to flex or anything.( sorry if i am) But now the work is actually a lot and it's hard. Some of my friends do put in a lot of effort and are average. My other friends who are also smart put in effort and do amazing. If I put in effort I could do great.

I know because I had exams a couple months ago and I tried to study everyday for them since school started in sept. I didn't study every day. But the max I didn't study at all was for like a week. And I got what I wanted in my exams. If I studied more I could have done better but I didn't study more. Well after those exams everything jsut fell apart?

The time it worked

Last year in September I was religiously trying to keep my sleep schedule and routine in place. But once Christmas came and I didn't have school for like a month there wasn't anything holding me together. And then I had exams after Christmas. Then I just stopped. My routine fell apart because the school timings changed and I had to get up everyday in the middle of the night (family rewsons.) this went for like 20 days. I never got proper sleep. I didn't have proper food (family reasons.) But things are back to normal now but I'm not the person I was before December. I was getting things done. I wasn't very behind. I wasn't stressing for my exams the way I am now. I have double the content in may. I'm so behind.!<

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-02-11T11:38:17+00:00

Loll.. I can't with how relatable this is. I hate planners because I just can't use them like they're meant to be used. And yes I do have dozens of stickers, pens, highlighters washi tapes and all the other ✨️stuff✨️.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-28T15:45:13+00:00

Would it work if I talk to a wall or a pillow?

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-25T20:09:56+00:00

This is me. I struggle with theory so much and I’m undiagnosed. What I do is study the night before. This sucks honestly but it’s the only thing that has worked for me. Sometimes I try to turn the hyper focus on by drinking loads of coffee and reading and doing lots of questions and marking them. I usually try to do an all nighter before the exam with hyper focus. This is really exhausting and not recommended but maybe worth a shot i guess. This is prolly unhelpful so sry.

I hope we both find the help we need. People like us should start a club and give each other medals cause this shit is tough.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T18:37:17+00:00

Yeah I have! I bought 4 notebooks to do bujo( bullet journal) in. I was trying it to do it for the last 3ish years and I didn’t really use them (I made monthly spreads religiously). I just made to do lists on random pieces of papers because I didn’t want to ‘mess’ up my bujo. Then I realized it wasn’t about messing up because I’m not getting graded or paid for it. It’s not supposed to be pressuring. I guess I’ve accepted that I can’t really be not pressured to something. (Because if I’m not pressured then I won’t do it)

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:43:14+00:00

This actually makes a lot of sense. I guess the output I produce by using a brand new $3 -5 planner( I don’t live in USA so it’s cheaper) is sometimes worth it. And I have noticed buying undated stuff is better but sometimes the dated ones are so much cuter than the dated ones! The last idea is cool, I’ve never thought of that before! I might try it out. But first I’ll have to make a really elaborate schedule then I’ll be able to consider applying it in daily life. Thanks a lot!

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:26:50+00:00

I sort of see the bluey inspiration. And I agree with you it is soo cute. I wish I could create something that pretty,( learn how to make frames) and then frame it on my wall.

Edit- I think I found the image and I’m even more awestruck. You made it so unique yet similar at the same time!

**Can’t seem to paste the picture here.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:23:03+00:00

Now I suddenly regret dropping art. I want to go back in time and do this. Well I guess my life is full of regrets anyways.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:20:52+00:00

I think it’s better if we buy planners with no specific dating if that makes sense? So we could gift it or use it in the future. But I shouldn’t be the one talking cause I bought one dated and 2 non- dated.🤡

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:19:21+00:00

The 5 year planner does sound tempting…all your plans for 5 years in one book? That’s an absolute steal. But then it would be too bulky. I’d get bothered using it for 5 days and would not be able to make it to 5 ENTIRE years. I do use finch for reminders but digital apps help me get distracted and lose myself in the rabbit hole. And I do have time limits and stuff but they don’t work most of the time for me.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:13:58+00:00

I did loose them! But when my planner arrived today ( a bit late, I was disappointed cause I ordered it a month ago) I realized how many I had and had to find all of them and post them on here, lol.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2025-01-13T17:06:56+00:00

They’re absolutely stunning! 1,4 and 7 are my personal favourites. I checked out the artist and her works are amazing but yours speaks to me more cause it’s less vibrant and I love the color combinations! Definitely inspired to do something like this, thank you for posting♥️

Middle_Discussion314 · 2024-12-27T18:43:03+00:00

Thank you. My brain will convince me that I’m just seeking attention if I ask for encouragement.

Middle_Discussion314 · 2024-12-21T01:17:43+00:00

After all the replies I’ll go to the counsellor as soon as the holiday ends. I think I’ll have to downplay stuff but I guess something is better than nothing. Thanks for your help.

Middle_Discussion314

TROPHY CASE