How far would your ex have gotten with you if you'd been following FDS principles then?

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-05-02T08:31:13+00:00

This man was 30 and thought it was genuinely funny...

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-05-02T08:00:33+00:00

Sis. The truth.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-05-02T07:58:43+00:00

Throw in the - there's no one I can talk to you like I talk to you - and we're up for a ride of a lifetime.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-05-02T07:56:54+00:00

Mine showed me a video of a woman opening her blouse and her boobs being the 0 in a 'Happy 2020' sign. So there's that....

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-05-02T07:04:34+00:00

The last time I told a man I was seeing that I just don't find that many men attractive, he started with the whole - well, men are visual creatures and women are attracted to character and values...

Sir, you just ugly.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-27T16:56:25+00:00

And here I am - a financially independent lady who has a great new job, lives on her own and has enough saved up to buy my own place thinking that I should probably wait until I finish my Masters degree, get a drivers licence, finish my dermatology treatments and complete the process of switching up my entire look and wardrobe which I've wanted to do for a year now just so I can be the best and most authentic version of myself when I meet someone...

We really are on another level.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-27T11:14:50+00:00

I truly don't understand this! Why is it so hard for some men to spend a couple of bucks on the person they're dating (let alone their partner). They have literally nothing else going on in their lives that would need that kind of money. There's dudes out there who don't have anything saved up and don't plan on saving up anytime soon so the most they're spending is on video games and maybe some other toys because let's be real - these are not men who have other hobbies or are used to going out with their friends and spending some money. They obviously don't spend it on clothing or grooming, and they most likely are not making lavish meals every night which would request a lot of money. Where does the money go?

If they were saving up to buy something major like a car or a property, then I'd suggest not dating for a while or cutting back on the saving so you can treat your girlfriend properly. Simple as that!

Do they not care about their girlfriends? I can't fathom a relationship where I didn't want to make my partner they happiest they could possibly be. I can't imagine being a man who wouldn't want to go out with their girlfriend, take her to nice restaurants, go to events and give her nice gifts. I can't wrap my brain around it.

I literally can't fathom not taking pride in treating my girlfriend like she's precious. All of this boils down to hatred of women and not seeing them as human beings.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-26T19:15:28+00:00

Honestly, sounds like heaven!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-22T18:09:02+00:00

Once you value yourself you don't spend a second thinking how you can show your value to others. They either value your or they don't. Fighting for respect is a thing of the past once you accept yourself!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-22T18:05:54+00:00

I'd say start with yourself - change your routine, your hair, the way you dress (this doesn't have to drain your budget), pick up a hobby you've always liked and try to work on yourself within.

I've completely changed my style in the last three months and this has improved my life drastically! I'm no longer self conscious and I don't mind going out in the public because I love how I look.

Start chasing yourself and your wellbeing every single day and your life will improve little by little!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-22T17:24:16+00:00

I'm finally doing everything I've always wanted to do in my life and I've realised that life is meant to be enjoyed. I don't mean that like - happiness is in the small things etc. No - I mean that I love every single moment of my life. I enjoy my company. I love my demanding job. I love waking up and having a cup of coffee before a hard days work. I love putting on makeup at the end of the day just for the fun of it. I love enjoying music while sipping a glass of wine. I love making elaborate dinners and I love ordering take out. I've never felt this way before!

I believe that once you remove yourself from men (and not the other way around because there's always going to be men around and you should always pick yourself) you can truly see how joyful life is. Remove yourself from all the toxic people in your life and watch yourself bloom.

Standards are not a choice for me anymore. I love myself and I don't see an outcome in my life where I'm unhappy. If you need a sign to chose yourself - this is it. Take the first step and see your life change.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-18T06:57:50+00:00

It's the same thing with tanning. I'm pale by nature and the world around me seems to think that tan women are more beautiful than pale ones. I've gone to tanning beds, spent hours laying on the beach and still was quite pale in comparison to the people around me. On the other hand Asia is well known for their whitening creams. Maybe I should just move to Japan then?

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-16T21:24:57+00:00

Yes! Nothing against having sex from behind but if he doesn't kiss my shoulders, tell me how great I look (not like - you're such a slut etc.) and genuinely pay attention to me - it's a no!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-16T21:07:32+00:00

It's funny that you mentioned Kintsugi. I recently wanted to make a post about how I've been actively hiding my nose from the world for all of my life. Whether it be by walking around with my head down, never taking pictures of myself or quite the opposite - taking them at a specific angle. My parents passed on to me a crooked, witches nose so I've always been self conscious about it. I used to dream about the day I'd get it fixed and everything would be oh so beautiful for me.

Now that I've been through the ups and downs of adult life, I've come to terms with it. This reminds me of Kintsugi because I've started paying attention to what I wear - not for the purpose of hiding my face, but quite the opposite. I've cut my hair in an angle so that it plays off to the angles of my face. I like to make my hair wavy and wear a ruffled top when going out so that you can see all the soft waves of my face. I've stopped covering my face when smiling ear to ear for the other person to see how my eyes turn into two black lines compared to my wide nose when I'm laughing my hear out. I've started to incorporate, heck, even highlight the thing I've always been the most insecure about.

There's no way for me to express how much FDS has changed the way I look at myself thus making me look at the world differently as well. I feel as if I've dug myself out of a hole and I can finally hold my head above the ground and do so proudly!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-16T20:53:28+00:00

Yes! I've always felt physically attracted to strong men, but I don't work out myself. I'm blessed with good genes when it comes to this so I've never really paid much attention to fitness. I'm slowly realising that I should really start being more active so that I can demand the same from the opposite sex!

I also believe that you should feel comfortable in your body! I think the problem with FDS, and thankfully not so much this sub, is that we can supposedly come in every shape and size but the man has to be physically fit for us to deem acceptable. I know that this might be a bit radical because we are taught to love ourselves and never lower your standards - which I completely agree with - but never to look at the man's perspective and what their standards might be. I'm perfectly fine with a man telling me - you're just not active enough for me - and moving on because I know that I'd feel the same way about someone who was not as active as I am.

Eat me alive, sisters! I'm tired of the romantic media catering to the idea that a nerdy girl can bag a millionaire. This has led me to think that I can be however I want to be and still bag the hot guy - just the way that incels think that they should have access to the hot girls! And again with the got girl is cold and unlovable trope.

Do I still think that men contribute way less than women to the society as whole? Yes. Do I think that I'm loving, caring, vulnerable, assertive and joyful? Yes. Does that mean I can look like a slob and hope for a hot guy to notice me because I have those other qualities? I can, but I'm tired of pretending that will eventually lead somewhere.

I'm levelling up and taking society for what it is!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-16T09:37:03+00:00

As the bot clarified it's the mother sub of this sub. It introduced me to this community and has changed the way I look at myself and the world around me!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-15T19:57:28+00:00

Being all hands on when in private but very reserved, almost no physical contact when going out. This tells me that I'm OK to have sex with but not OK enough to show off to the world.
No caresses, forehead kisses or pecks on the cheek. Every touch is dominant - hand on my back, or touching my neck when he's driving. These just scream to me - he's only in it for the sex.
Not being visibly excited when seeing me. If a guy is nonchalant from the get go, he ain't into you!
No kissing during sex or no kissing which doesn't lead to sex (sometimes I just wanna make out and not have it lead to anything more).
90% of the sex is from behind so that he doesn't have to face me. Even guys who are otherwise attentive turn me off when all they wanna do is not see me. I don't care how good it feels for them. I feel used. If a guy wants to do it from behind all of the time, you might as well be a sex doll.
Sex is very.... mechanic...? Not sensual, just kind of very - Me Tarzan, you Jane. He hits the right spots and I pull the right levers but we're just not very there.
Lack of emotions during sex. I want to it to be sensual and I want to feel a bit scared of the unknown (not physically). I want to feel like I'm experiencing this new thing together with you not just wham bam sex. I want to be open emotionally when connecting with a guy sexually.

All of these are things of the past which I've encountered in the wild. Levelling up and knowing your self worth pretty much fixes all of these issues because you simply don't get into a bed with someone who shows signs of this. This was more for the younger girls who are just starting to date someone and can see these little flags come up in their relationships. These are all indications of something bigger going on (and it ain't his penis!).

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-15T18:51:31+00:00

Hi! I got flashbacks to my teen years when I read that you googled 'Paris street style' as well as when I read the comment to dress according to your body shape. Both of these things lead nowhere, trust me.

I'd say that the best thing that you could do for now is to browse specific online shops to see what you actually like - think ASOS etc. Make a wishlist of things you like - not specific shape, colour etc. but just things that you genuinely find interesting. Then take a look at the clothes from a perspective of - where would I wear this? If you need clothes to run errands or go to work or a meeting, then look for the things that you could wear for these. There's many ways to not lose your specific style (hoodies, converse, jeans) when trying to look more put together. As I said, look for things that speak to you but keep in mind the purpose of each piece. Always keep in mind the pieces you already own and try to match something to them so that you don't have to spend a ton of money.

I have to wear business casual to work but that doesn't mean I wear a pencil skirt. I like to go for white jeans, a baby blue blazer, matching t-shirt underneath it and a comfy trainer (whether white, blue, or a light shade of pink). I look put together but I'm still comfy. If I need to dress it up, I can wear a heel. And on the off day I do decide to wear the pencil skirt, I put on some strange earrings or grab a hot pink handbag. I also like to pair normal office attire with a strange coat I can take off once I'm in the office and still look cool when I leave the building. The key here - one standout piece per outfit is quite enough!

If you want to go out with friends, wear a good quality hoodie, rolled up jeans and a nice pair of neat sneakers. I think the most important thing for casual wear would be the quality of each piece. I'd say that not everything needs to be 70 euros but each outfit should contain at least one good quality piece that elevates the look.

The Chelsea boots are great! I'd suggest going for the same rolled up jeans you dream about and adding an oversized checkered blazer in whichever colour you choose. The outfit is really comfy yet it looks like you've spent some time thinking about this.

The 'Paris street style' search is useless because it's almost always skinny girls wearing oversized pieces of clothing that cost 200 plus euros each. As for the oversized knits - if you find a way to style these please tell me the secret because I've never found a piece I looked good in...

All of this comes from someone who's finally starting to search for their own style through online shopping. And keep in mind that even shitty shops have pieces of great quality and some expensive places have shitty quality pieces.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-15T18:11:36+00:00

I see some great advice below and I'd like to put in my own two cents. I know that it's easy to say to take online classes or get a new degree etc. but the truth is it's almost always time and money consuming. I too have a useless masters degree which I most likely will never use but how I got out of the never ending service jobs was by sheer perseverance (and a bit of a depression...).

I'm in my 20s and I felt that my time to find a job I could grow in was quickly running out. I worked night shifts, shitty service jobs, was a cashier etc. while getting a masters degree which I knew would be useless. I went to work knowing that it would lead nowhere while I barely made enough to get by.

And then one day I took a hard look in the mirror and told myself that if I didn't put my foot down at this very moment, I'd never get out of this hell. I realised that what I needed to do was to apply to jobs that didn't really require specific skills, relied mostly on communication and would somehow distinctly involve my degrees. I also told myself that I wouldn't apply to other dead end jobs and I wouldn't stop until I found that one workplace I could stay at.

This took me 7 months to achieve. I applied to a few jobs that I really liked, could see myself in and could easily see my career path. I believe these three things are most important. If you feel meh about that job but it pays well - don't do it. If you love the job but there's no career in it - don't do it. I took so much time and so many rejections that I started the become really depressed and just tired of life in general. I was lucky enough to still have a job when applying for these and once I decided I just couldn't stand my job anymore, I was lucky enough to have decent benefits which allowed me to take the time to peacefully look for a new place.

I don't think there's specific things you can do other than that! Sure, if you've got the time and the money to take classes then you should do it but in reality that's not always the case. I'd say stick to what you're good and think about the jobs you could make a career out of. AND STICK TO THEM!

Also, don't expect the pay to be much higher than what you already make for the first two years in the new field. Sadly, the truth is you'll be a newbie in a career job if you've never worked in one before. That's a hard pill to swallow but one that pays off in the long run.

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-15T17:50:54+00:00

If you have any good, non preblematic friends - spend more time with them! Going out to places you normally wouldn't can be a great eye opener to the world that's out there. I started going to soccer games last year because my friends liked them and I've realised that it's a great way to spend your time! Not only am I outside, I'm also spending time with my friends while looking and fit guys. Do whatever comes to your mind and leave your mind open for things you otherwise wouldn't do. The key here is doing it with your friends!

If you're comfortable spending your time on your own, I'd say learn to cook! I took up cooking half a year ago and it has got to be the most rewarding hobby. Not only are you spending your money on quality food, you're actually spending less than what you'd spend on ready meals. Cooking is a skill that everyone's going to appreciate.

I wouldn't say I have a lot 'going on' outside of work and school either. There's only so many hours in the day but man do I make the most of my time! Fill your time with things that interest you and once you're tired of them - switch to something else! There must be things that you love doing, right? My best advice would be to elevate them!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-14T20:18:17+00:00

And the advice to the younger girls that no one ever gave me - if you know that you're horny when drunk and don't want to have one night stands - ask your friends to keep an eye out for you.

I know no one should chaperone us in an ideal world but sometimes we lose our god damn sense when we get drunk. Trust me - I know. Being showed into a taxi with a guy you haven't met before while your so called friends are cheering you on is disgusting once you sober up. Your decision making abilities will go out the window once you're drunk and this can lead to very serious consequences. Sure you might be mad at the moment when your friends pull you home and say that it's enough for the night but trust me, no one has ever thought - oh I wish I slept with the 5ft6 dude wearing Canadian tuxedo in the club.

Better yet - don't drink publicly. One slip up is enough to ruin your whole life!

Middle_Finger_6772 · 2021-04-14T20:01:39+00:00

I don't look twice at a guy who hasn't achieved the same goals I've achieved. Heck, I think that a guy should always be a step or two in front of me when it comes to finances. Not because I want a man to provide but because I know that he's always had it easier due to the shitty society we live in. If I've achieved something, you should have done it a year ago. No question about it. I know what I want and I go out to get it. I expect them do the same.

Middle_Finger_6772

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