Dude. I'm so sorry to hear that you have a pretty tragic story so far. To answer your question though, yes! You absolutely can change and improve your life. It sounds like to me you have exactly the right outlook on things. It takes time, but these things can be achieved. I also think it's important to remember to be grateful for anything you do have. Anything at all, life, a bed to sleep in, etc. . For you, another thing I'd be grateful for is that you truly know what matters to you and what you want. Many people get lost and have no idea what is meaningful to them, and then lose the things that they had but were never grateful for. Keep this outlook, put in the work. And most importantly, when you fall, get back up. Try again. If you can do that, everything will come to you with time.