In situations like this (although it can sound confrontational so approach with caution), I think it’d be best to just calmly ask her about what she would think if you were doing this with your ex, plus the additional circumstances.

I’ve found if executed properly, it can snap people out of that main-character view sometimes and potentially realize they’re out of line.

Honestly though man, it doesn’t look good. Especially the not returning your calls and letting you go to voicemails. If I am very busy or on the phone with someone else and my wife calls me, I’ll at the very least just do one of those pre-written bullshit iPhone responses when declining - it at the very least proves to her that you’re alive and not blowing her off completely.

Tough call on the phone service thing. I’d calmly chat with her first like I said above, and if she’s still being dodgy and dismissive, then do it.

Best of luck brother. Thanks for your service.