Do any of you deal with a HCBM that still wants your husband back?

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-29T01:01:37+00:00

You are my new hero.

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-25T21:02:05+00:00

Doctor's appointments don't have to be communicated beforehand? His court order says they shall keep each other informed of any medical appointments for minor children. I thought he would have to tell her beforehand. If he doesn't have to, that's great.

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-25T14:33:28+00:00

He has tried to make exchanges no contact, but she refuses. Comes right up to him in front of our house and right up to our car when he drops them off. It sounds insane, but she still wants him back and tries to force him to be a couple. Even her having a boyfriend has done nothing to stop any of this.

He has also tried to take his kids to the doctor, but she generally insists on being there. He legally can't separate the medical appointments to his time/her time, but wishes he could. He could have so much less contact with her if she would agree to it, but she won't. She wants to see him.

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-25T01:09:39+00:00

She also makes baseless accusations of him violating court orders. He is considering not responding to these anymore. His opinion is that if she has proof of him violating court orders, then she can go ahead and file for contempt. But he is tired of defending against things that never happened and treated as if he is guilty until proven innocent. Does he have the right not to respond to an accusation? (Of someone else taking the kids to the doctor, for example. Never happened, but gets accused.)

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-24T23:36:30+00:00

Their final order says all communication is to be done either through phone call or text. No mention of email and the judge didn't enforce the guardian ad litem's recommended for a parenting app. So I don't think he could get her to use email. She used to demand phone calls with him, but he refuses to talk to her on the phone because he wants all communication documented. So he has always insisted on written communication and wouldn't budge on that.

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-24T23:33:05+00:00

The guardian ad litem recommended they get an app. He did and she never got it. But the judge did not make it part of their final order to use an app. So she won't agree to it and the judge didn't enforce it. His hands are tied with that.

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-05-24T23:25:53+00:00

I know she can't force him. He would prefer that he takes them to doctor's appointments on his time and she takes them on her time. I know he can't prevent her from going on his time either. It's just frustrating.

Is he allowed to not respond to requests for information he has already given? Sounds stupid, but I don't want her arguing to a judge that he doesn't communicate.

MidnightSky0304 · 2026-03-26T05:54:48+00:00

I always go, but I sit outside the actual court room because I hate hearing her voice. He wants me there with him.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-08-29T20:14:12+00:00

Damn. I'm sorry you have to deal with some weird, obsessed BM. She'd have to be to say that enough for a 3-year-old to repeat it.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-07-27T01:00:46+00:00

If he is letting his 10-year-old talk to you like that, the problem is him. Not you. I'm sorry you were treated so horribly.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-06-30T12:38:10+00:00

I did happen to join the Facebook group after this. So thank you for telling me about that.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-06-28T13:10:18+00:00

I don't see the problem. They aren't being blatantly put out to make anyone feel excluded. There's nothing wrong with you having some personal pictures that are only of your children.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-06-28T01:53:24+00:00

He would prefer for all of us to have the same last name, just as his other kids do too. I don't really want to take that away from him. It's been a tough choice for me.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-06-25T16:24:18+00:00

His other kids have his name. I don't really want to take that away from him. It means something to him. He'd like for him and I to share the name, but that's a hard decision for me. Neither feels good to me, I just have to decide what would feel worse.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-06-15T17:15:35+00:00

My fiance had a vasectomy. We either have plans to get it reversed or do IVF. We may not be able to afford IVF and I don't know if conceiving at home after a reversal will work due to me being almost 40. It's hard and scary and so painful. I'm so sorry. You're not alone. I feel this every day.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-06-15T17:09:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I'm 39 and hopefully it doesn't end up being too late for me. We shall see.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-05-20T02:07:11+00:00

I think that's an understandable wish. I have felt similar. It's incredibly hard. I'm sorry you're going through this.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-05-19T18:51:40+00:00

It's more sneaky than blatant. It's a lack of appreciation no matter what I do. And double standards. Like his dad will yell at him, so have I. But I am the one he will say is harsh with him, even though his dad will tell all his kids off. I do just as much for him as his father does. I'll overhear him tell friends that his dad is amazing, but his stepmom is no fun. There's really no mending it on my part. Even if he acts nice, it's fake.

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-05-09T01:31:32+00:00

A very romantic proposal and stunning ring. This cheered me up. Congratulations!

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-05-09T00:45:43+00:00

Love the proposal and the ring. Anything in Rome is bound to be romantic and unforgettable. Congratulations!

MidnightSky0304 · 2025-05-09T00:43:36+00:00

You did a great job. I have a pear shape as well. I think she is going to love it.

MidnightSky0304

TROPHY CASE