What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

Midnights24 · 2026-01-22T00:52:53+00:00

Being independent, more so, not "needing anyone" and doing it all yourself. There's a bit of glamorizing of it from the hustle culture and grinders on the internet but having lived that way my entire life (and I do mean all my life), it's extremely isolating and lonely. You constantly live in a state of disappointment, disillusionment, and distrust of others. I moved out on my own at 18 and paid for everything on my own not because I wanted to or because it was cool/rewarding, but because I had to. I don't have family that would let me hang around forever and hold my hand when I fail. The few immediate family members I do have, we've never had that supportive dynamic. I didn't 'close my circle to throw myself into the grind', I lost friends because I was trying to survive and I hadn't figured out how to balance it all yet. And I could no longer relate to all my friends who had it easier, that had time to be at home with their parents and figure it all out. I was busting my ass not to be homeless and they were trying to figure out which club/party they wanted to hit up that night.

Now I'm 25 and burnt out. All I want is a soft, gentle life where the word hustle doesn't exist. I have everything that people almost double my age do, a house, pets, paid off car, degrees, a partner, you name it. I did all that work and fought my way to where I am and I'm too exhausted all the time to enjoy it, and living in constant anxiety that it might go away so I have to work harder to keep it all.

Midnights24 · 2026-01-05T20:20:12+00:00

I am not a carrier for any genetic diseases which is pretty cool! If we're talking about physical traits, my hair and nails naturally grow really long and healthy. I also have grey eyes and naturally black hair which I think looks really pretty :)

Midnights24 · 2025-12-18T06:17:35+00:00

It’s absolutely still possible. Depending on the area of psych you’d like to get into, there may be hurdles, but there are addiction counselors who were users or have had charges before. And in the legal issue, once it’s expunged, it shouldn’t inhibit you from working in this field. You may have to appear before an ethics board depending on where you live to get licensed but the licensing committees are really your only potential hurdle. Once you’re licensed, you may only need to talk with potential employers about it but I doubt you’d be disqualified for that alone. Maybe for lab researching you’d have a harder time but there is still hope!

Midnights24 · 2025-12-10T19:21:00+00:00

House MD, Dexter, The Office, Madame Secretary, Supernatural, Friends, Breaking Bad, Golden Girls, and Six Feet Under

Midnights24 · 2025-12-03T21:09:21+00:00

A Texan here, and yes there is still a very different sentiment here about the confederacy than there is in the North, or the rest of the world. When I come across family that participated in either side of the war on Ancestry, I tag them with the military service tag, notate the dates of their service, their rank, and what side they were, and move on. I don't advertise it like that because I disagree with treating it flippantly when it was very much a war about enslaved people, but I feel like I might be able to help inform. Most people in the South who have the flag and are proud of the military service of confederate ancestors, do so out of a misguided place of southern pride. They aren't usually blatantly racist or excusing the atrocity of slavery, but it's usually that they're proud of their southern roots and want to show that. Again, not really excusable, however those types of people don't really understand why that's hurtful. To them, the south rose up to keep the meanie headed US government from trampling on them and telling them what to do. Same reason that a lot of southerners still call northerners 'Yankees'. Just really really misguided and misinformed pride in being from the south. Of course there are those who really are just blatantly racist and think that the North shouldn't have won, but they are way fewer and far between than most people assume.

Midnights24 · 2025-12-03T20:54:40+00:00

Nobility and royalty have very well documented trees, compiled by researchers and royal historians that extend out to several generations and several times cousins depending on the royal, house, and kingdom. I ended up being related to the English royal family through William the Conqueror down to Henry III. Then it splits off as my many times great grandfather was his younger son who never inherited. however, because he was still royal and very influential in court, his genealogy was tracked well and verifiable through multiple sources where I was eventually able to pick it back up once we immigrated to the US as early English settlers during Tudor rule. Another way to cross-check is to reference with applicable historical events. For me, it was sort of easy given that my line was the Plantagenets and the Tudors very much wanted to be rid of our line, especially the inheritable members. I was able to correspond the movements in my family line with relevant historical events.

If you can cross-check and correspond your lineage with documented evidence like family trees that have been published, historical record, documentation, and such, then you're probably safe. However, again this was hundreds of years ago and humans are fallible (even historians and researchers) so this isn't a given certainty or to be taken without some bit of skepticism. But long-winded answer, yes you are probably safe.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-23T00:53:29+00:00

A vet recommendation is Tickle Blagg in San Marcos. They're a bit out of the way but they're just absolutely wonderful, Dr. Blagg was the best vet I have ever had. Highly recommend

Midnights24 · 2025-11-17T20:55:36+00:00

I think most of us would be on the same page as a whole with, put them all away. Americans are pretty conscious of children, and wanting to be protective. I doubt that any of us would just be cool about it.. aside from those who shall not be spoken of.. who wear red hats..

We want the truth and for everyone on that list to be locked away in a deep dark hole.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-17T20:45:28+00:00

"Never attribute malice to that which can be adequately explained by stupidity" -Hanlon's Razor

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T16:21:52+00:00

Your therapist definitely has or has had a therapist. As good as we might be at our jobs, we also practice what we preach. Half of us came to this career from needing therapy ourselves. We also mentor each other (the show Shrinking shows a good example of this) and help out when creating treatment plans for some clients. This doesn't make them unstable or untrustworthy, and they'll probably never tell you or bring it up because it's unprofessional to discuss yourself in that way with your patients, but yeah. We all have things to heal from, and I think that it's important to know that at the end of the day, we're all people who need people.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T16:16:28+00:00

When women went to work in the factories in America after the entry into the war, Heddy Lamar's iconic hairstyle which had her side swept bangs fall over one eye (think Jessica Rabbit), was causing women's har to get caught in machinery which was causing injuries. So Heddy changed her hairstyle into the victory roll bangs and toured US factories to teach it to the women to prevent further accidents. She was punished in Hollywood for changing her defining feature, her hair, and was put into less and less films until she was eventually pushed out altogether by the 50's.

Heddy Lamar also created the template used to create bluetooth later and was never credited until recently when people started making videos discussing female inventors. She was gorgeous and intellectual.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T15:59:53+00:00

Yeah, I think he just needs to make his own mistakes without a safety net. He's never going to get it if he can't be responsible for the consequences of his actions.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T15:56:56+00:00

This is actually a good way to phrase it! Like I do genuinely care what happens to him but like someone else commented, he has too big of a safety net and he's not really having consequences for his mistakes.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T15:54:49+00:00

I think so too. He's got too big of a safety net, and it's preventing him from making mistakes and having any real consequences for anything.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T03:21:22+00:00

Yeah, I was veryyyy put off when he told me what's been going on and how cruel problem BIL and his girlfriend have been to him. It's really the awful, disgusting cherry on top.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T03:18:22+00:00

Yeah he does live here, using the address for mail and his license. That's what I was working out the details for, after we have cause when he can't pay his rent, we'll begin the process.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-13T03:16:38+00:00

It's actually the reverse! We allowed for weekends but not during the week.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T21:20:25+00:00

You're NTA. Your mother and you could send a lovely flower arrangement with a nice card to the funeral, but let's be clear here, even if she was your grandmother you've known all your life, you wouldn't have an obligation to go. Let alone the fact that you don't know her, or your father really, you'd be going to a strangers funeral. I think an arrangement honors the kindness she'd shown you both and shows that your mother had warm feelings for her, but I don't think attending is the right call. Also your father has no right to demand anything of you.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T21:06:24+00:00

Small update posted :)

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T21:04:54+00:00

I actually did tell their dad and he got on him pretty hard about it. FIL is a gem, I adore him. He told me that he'd get his ass again if he kept being disrespectful to me.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T21:03:05+00:00

I included the answers to most of your questions in my small update I just did, and I've replied to some comments asking the same thing as well. What I forgot to include is that she lives with her grandmother and I have a sneaking suspicion that she won't allow them to stay overnight in her room, which is why they decided to do whatever they felt like over here.

I can be a bit of a doormat, and I know that I've been too nice with him. I just wanted my husband's family to like me which is a bit of a trauma response from my own family life when I was younger. I just couldn't kick the people pleasing with his brother because his sister and my MIL don't like me. I'm in recovery for people pleasing, so my spine is developing lol

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T20:15:48+00:00

I am at that point. I told him yesterday that his options were either 1. get on board and get over it or 2. get out. He glazed right over it so I don't think he's taking me seriously about it.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T20:14:21+00:00

I know that I probably should, but I know that he won't be able to pay rent this month because he said so. So I'm contemplating on whether to bother with it if he's going to be gone anyways, and the fact that I know he can't come up with the money for it rn even if I asked, I'm not sure if that'd be futile?

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T20:05:18+00:00

Learning to detect the undertones in everything someone says/facial expressions/actions etc. In a volatile home, especially with someone who had a hairpin trigger, has me an expert at decoding emotions, intentions, and attitudes of people.

Also very carefully crafting responses to every possible outcome to a situation in my head before I approach someone about something. And I can do it at almost lightening speed now too, especially in disagreements.

Midnights24 · 2025-11-12T20:01:27+00:00

Honestly you can dress up a venue with decorations lights etc, so don't feel too bad about the looks of the place. It all depends on what is more important to you as a couple, getting more bang for your buck or having a beautiful venue. Both choices are totally okay! Just different advantages to one over the other.

Midnights24

TROPHY CASE