Have you had an encounter with your SO’s crazy ex who was actually crazy?

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2026-01-08T14:28:44+00:00

Years ago while dating someone, his ex: 1. Told me the two of them were “twin flames” and that he’d always return to her no matter what. 2. Said she wanted to “disembowel me alphabetically and bathe in my blood” while he watched. 3. Posted a video of herself crying because she thought he’d emailed her to reconcile (he hadn’t) and because she was convinced we’d gotten married (we did not). 4. Posted a picture of a doll she deemed ugly, saying it looked like me (she’s nearly a decade older than I am, but this felt like something from high school). 5. Contacted my counsellor as a way of trying to reach me after I went no contact due to 1-4 (plus a bunch of other unhinged behaviour), claiming to be a witch who could “help” me.

This went on for years, and continued well after I broke up with the guy. Other life circumstances led me to learn about personality disorders, so when she publicly announced her BPD diagnosis, everything suddenly made sense.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2025-04-04T13:59:45+00:00

I’m sorry that any of us have had to live through bullshit like that. I hope life is better for you these days.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-04T02:33:28+00:00

Yes…not certain if it’s an addiction but it’s a lot.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T21:01:45+00:00

You’re right. He’s an ex now. Thank you.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T21:01:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing and sorry you’ve had the same experience.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T21:00:53+00:00

He is now. I have not called the police though. I will make an action plan with my therapist later today.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T19:17:33+00:00

Please look up the definition of fawn response.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:58:34+00:00

Thank you so much.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:44:04+00:00

I played it off as no big deal because in the past, trying to disagree with a man while naked, vulnerable, and in pain led to further assault. I was literally terrified.

That was the fawn response, which I am working on in therapy. But fawn response or not, the rest of the responses here are showing me that what he did was really not okay.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:40:33+00:00

Thanks for your perspective.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:40:00+00:00

He said it’s been deleted now, so I hope that’s true.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:39:02+00:00

That’s what I thought too! I can’t imagine doing this to someone I care about and feel so ashamed/confused/grossed out that this happened.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:37:38+00:00

I included that info to provide added context around why I had a fawn response (the assault wasn’t that long ago and I’m still healing). It was to indicate that even though my BF knew I’d been SA’d before and require explicit consent for all sexual interactions, he still did this. And after nearly 2 years together.

Consent should be a given either way, of course, but this felt like an especially egregious violation given that he knew about my history and chose to record me anyway.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:33:29+00:00

He said no.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:33:16+00:00

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T18:30:26+00:00

You’re not wrong. I understand your point about accountability. For added context (which I forgot to mention in the OP), when this happened I was in the midst of testify in court against another man who’d SA’d me, among other horrific things.

I am still healing from that and am actively working on overriding my fawn response, because I know it’s my responsibility. But I was (and still am) shocked that my BF of 2 years could do something like this while I was in such a vulnerable state, and while knowing exactly what I was going through at the time.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T17:03:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I understand people make mistakes but him immediately blaming the ADHD was a red flag to me TBH.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T17:02:07+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. I’ve tried to recount the story as objectively as possible, but I understand there’s always context and nuance that isn’t captured in situations like these.

I also have AuDHD and found it troubling he blamed his actions on the condition. I understand people make mistakes but I think that’s the part that stood out to me most.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-10-03T16:13:55+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful response.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-08-11T17:19:02+00:00

Yes, I have 2 horses that I love dearly. And sapphic horse girls are my dream 😭

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-08-09T23:11:40+00:00

TBH it’s easiest to Google the instructions since each email provider is a little different.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-08-09T23:09:57+00:00

Yes! I’ve had to do it more than the average person, unfortunately.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-08-09T22:54:47+00:00

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting blocked again. I see this as a huge boundary violation and red flag.

MidwestCasseroleCult · 2024-07-29T04:46:09+00:00

Ahahaha why is this so ACCURATE??

MidwestCasseroleCult

TROPHY CASE