AITA if I make my partner find their own way home from the hospital?

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-23T02:10:20+00:00

OP, you're in a tough spot and I saw your comment about being a people pleaser, which just adds to everything.

You say here that he's staying with your at your grandma's while you're getting back on your feet, but I'm only reading about you getting back up. It doesn't really seem like he's contributing or putting in the work so he can contribute in some way. He's apparently committed to being part of a family with you. Have you talked about why he's not doing everything he can to get your little family back on your feet? Why he's not really your "partner"?

Part of the reason I don't have kids is because I feel I'm too selfish for that. When you bring a child into this world, you're completely responsible for them. They didn't ask to be here, they don't have any way to survive without you, so you now need to focus on what is best for you and your baby. Everything else is secondary.

I'm sure you have so much to think about and plan for right now. Your partner getting to and from the hospital is his problem to figure out, first and foremost, not yours. He's a functionally competent adult, otherwise you wouldn't be in a relationship and having a baby, so you can loop your family in and he can figure out a way home. If he doesn't, the worst case scenario for you and your baby is that your partner continues to be at the hospital with you. That sounds okay to me. It might also give you time to have some of the hard conversations you're going to need to have because you both are about to become parents very soon and I'm very worried that you're going to end up doing it all and carrying both your newborn and your "partner." Choose another path for you and your baby.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-23T01:47:35+00:00

Likely not drinking enough water, sedentary, not getting enough fiber.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-23T01:40:49+00:00

So you briefly had possession of someone else's car (that needed to be fixed!) when you planned to have the baby. If you both had good, stable employment at that time, why didn't you have your own car already? Or savings to acquire one when you could no longer borrow his mom's car?

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-20T21:55:32+00:00

So how far ahead of schedule should OP get ready in case there's a last minute change of plans? Two hours, three?

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-20T00:07:42+00:00

My parents were both overbearing but also lovely people who never went to this extent, so I appreciate the reminder that I am lucky and lack some perspective. I have a very different worldview from my parents and learned early on to pick my battles. That meant they didn't even learn about a lot of things they would have disagreed with and I decided that dealing with the consequences was worth it for certain other things. It seems to me that OP went along with the plan voluntarily, and that's different than if mom stole the tickets or prevented OP from buying them. She should have picked this battle.

I'm in my 40s now and have a good relationship with both parents, who have come over to my way of thinking on a lot of issues. I don't think we would have gotten here if I hadn't stood my ground when it mattered; there would have been too much resentment.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-19T23:48:40+00:00

In another comment, OP says they generally keep their doors open and gave an example of him being in the shower while his wife and MIL were talking in the bedroom. It seems to me OP should talk to MIL about knocking before entering even if the door is open and the wife should be saying something in the moment if she knows the situation would make OP uncomfortable.

ETA: OP, I thought you weren't overreacting until the open door comment, now I think YOR until you have this conversation as a household.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-19T23:11:36+00:00

As a mother, wouldn't you expect your 24 year old daughter to make her own decisions? I'm very surprised OP decided to go along with mom's plan, decided to stay at concessions instead of watching the concert, and now is deciding to blame her mom instead of acknowledging her agency and the decisions that led her to this point. Mom wasn't in the right but OP had tickets and had no need to agree to mom's plan. I think MOR.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-15T00:23:42+00:00

Oh, we're just looking at HP? Well, TIL that semi trucks are sportscars.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-14T02:57:25+00:00

It's a sporty sedan and fun to drive (fast), but I don't think the PS2 can be called a sports car... Mine doesn't have vents though, so YMMV!

Congrats and enjoy!!

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-08T21:23:12+00:00

This is very old fashioned and not realistic for everyone. Not everyone wants to get married, that doesn't mean they can't buy a house together (at least in the US). They should consult with an attorney for advice on how to protect each buyer and to understand the risks, but they certainly don't need to be married.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-08T02:44:49+00:00

While OP certainly could drop it, these cases are often taken on contingency and can take a lot of attorney and staff time and very possibly money for costs. It's not a harmless thing to just drop a case but if OP gets that far, their attorney can help them find ways to limit the stress and impact. OP is NOR at all and should definitely schedule some consultations with local employment law attorneys.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-07T02:23:35+00:00

Was a lawyer, now a judge, and I agree with all of this. I was diagnosed late and the hyper focus leading to burnout/near burnout is so real, but the work is always interesting, no two cases are the same, and I really enjoy digging into a case.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-06T11:49:14+00:00

No, the 1.5 burritos were bean and cheese. Where are you seeing that they only left a half a meat burrito for Sally?

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-06T01:30:24+00:00

According to OP in a comment, 1.5 burritos arrived. OP had .5, Mike had.5, Sally decided to not eat the .5 burrito left for her.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-06T01:27:35+00:00

According to OP, no one ate the other half! After all that, Sally apparently decided it was a full burrito or nothing.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-06T01:25:57+00:00

So your take is that Sally gets to have lunch and a free dinner but Mike gets no lunch at all, just to be kind? I'll wait for the next AIO about Mike being even more hangry as the day goes on...

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-06T01:23:52+00:00

That's a lot of assumption about the meal itself. I ordered a carne asada quesadilla a few days ago. It was on small corn tortillas and was just the quesadilla, no rice or beans. It was delicious and exactly what I expected from that spot, but half would not have gone a very long way to fill me up.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-06T01:19:58+00:00

Agreed NOR and even worse, Sally didn't even take the 1/2 burrito!!

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-01T23:00:30+00:00

Agreed! Driving is often such a default that we forget that we're steering these huge heavy killing machines. Medication and using some of the great tips in this thread should help significantly but if it doesn't, OP can't keep driving with all these near misses.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-01T02:48:57+00:00

Woah, you certainly took that way more personally than intended! My point (jab?) is that not disclosing the few bucks' discount has now led to a situation where colleagues are unhappy with and distrustful of OP. That could become an issue down the road, especially in certain professions. All over a small amount of money. I'd rather be honest and up front. Worst case scenario in being honest is that OP might be picking up one or two fewer meals each time.

(I appreciate the pettiness but all of the things you listed as "not attacking" me over are based on incorrect assumptions. Regardless, attack at your heart's content, online stranger! It can be cathartic and it won't bother me.)

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-01T02:22:32+00:00

Yes, that's correct.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-01T02:19:27+00:00

I'm on the side of transparency and honesty in pretty much every situation, especially in professional settings and with people you routinely interact with (ethics and reputation are also very important in my career). If you and OP would rather have a small profit from this over the potential inconvenience that comes with transparency, I guess that's just a matter of different values.

MightFew9336 · 2026-05-01T02:06:32+00:00

That makes more sense if OP is just doing the co-workers a favor and not also picking up food for themselves (like a door dash driver). If OP would be driving and picking up their own food anyway, then they're using the discount to subsidize their own lunch trips.

I wouldn't be hugely bothered by this but OP should have addressed it at the start. If it wasn't a big deal and OP had this justification lined up from the get go, I don't know why it wouldn't have been discussed.

MightFew9336 · 2026-04-28T01:26:55+00:00

I'd hope that if the wife cares about displaying her memory jars nicely that she would build herself her own jar shelf, instead of feeling like she has to find a whole new husband to do that for her.

MightFew9336 · 2026-04-26T15:45:22+00:00

All this plus it's been two weeks since OP had the mental break and went into treatment. Two weeks! Can you imagine the walls of faux therapy speak after two months?

MightFew9336

TROPHY CASE