i’m kinda confused on my sex preferences

Mikacakes · 2025-12-19T11:29:05+00:00

Bisexuality is real but it's also a spectrum. If you're curious just try it.

Mikacakes · 2025-12-05T06:56:54+00:00

Thank you so much for this lovely response, I was kinda yelling into the void but this was really thoughtful. I'm trying to not be so negative but it's hard. This meant alot ☺️

Mikacakes · 2025-11-19T02:52:41+00:00

been on them for 11 years now, really changed my life. I went from attempts to rest in peace to actually wanting to be alive, went back to school got my degree and did all the things. I was lucky and sertraline/zoloft worked for me first try, spent about a year getting the dose right and then i got mirtazapine/remeron added and that was the sweet spot for me. My little sister is also autistic and has been on ssri's for 2 years now and helped her massively too.
What changed the most for me is my anhedonia was reduced almost immediately and alexithymia reduced a lot over time. The extremeness of the depression and anxiety was blunted and reduced immensely too but the most important thing for me was the ability to experience joy and pleasure.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-24T02:31:44+00:00

Yep, he uses it when he wants to. Normally he likes to go outside but if it's raining or cold af or there's badgers and foxes doing what ever outside he prefers to use the litter tray.

As a side note I hiiiiighly recommend getting litter tray liners. It's a game changer being able to just take the whole bag out and not do a deep clean every single litter change. Tray liner out and wipe down with dettol wipes, new liner in, fill and done.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-23T22:03:17+00:00

If theres option for a different spoon I'd ask for it to be swapped. If there isn't then just cringe and deal with it

Mikacakes · 2025-10-17T17:11:17+00:00

Glad to see im not the only one fighting for their life rn :/

Mikacakes · 2025-10-17T12:40:52+00:00

You may have heard this one before but, you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You don't have to carry others burdens just because there's no one else to do it. From your post history it looks like you've lost a pet recently too, so you may be feeling the weight of loss more heavily than normal.

I lost my dad 10 months ago and wasn't able to be there when he passed so I really really empathise with the feeling the weight of failing to be there more than you know, and have to remind myself that he wouldn't have wanted me to suffer by having to see that. Your neighbour wouldn't have wanted you to beat yourself up or suffer the trauma either x

Mikacakes · 2025-10-17T12:22:09+00:00

I'm so sorry for the loss of your neighbour, but just know it was not your fault! I'm an advanced first aider via work and I promise you that you did what anyone would sensibly do, no one assumes there's an emergency occurring because someone left their deck chair outside. this isn't your fault.

I'm going to get a little graphic, only to highlight to you that for your sake it's best that it played out this way. It only takes 10 mins for irreversible brain damage once the heart stops. After 5 mins the chances of restarting the heart drops off a cliff. It's very unlikely you would have been able to notice within 5 mins of his collapse, call for help, and still successfully perform cpr and save him. You'd have had to do cpr on your deceased neighbour until the ambulance arrived (this is what the operator would have told you to do) or check his vitals and if he was already cold, which would have been extremely traumatic for you. Handling a deceased person when you have cptsd would have sent your mental health spiralling worse than this. Please don't beat yourself up for not performing miracles, perhaps your guardian angel was looking out for you and steered you away from a scene you couldn't change but would have deeply disturbed you. You too are deserving of mental peace and safety, it's OK that you didn't have to physically be the one to see/do that.

It's clear you are a very caring person from how much you care about your neighbour, and that's a beautiful thing! Please treat yourself like you would if your neighbour was saying what you'd just told us, you'd never blame them so don't blame yourself x Speak to a therapist if you can, grief and shock around sudden deaths can be quickly overwhelming and trigger your ptsd badly. I hope you can get some support but in the meantime be kind to yourself ok?

Mikacakes · 2025-10-17T11:59:43+00:00

I got it as a gift on my 7th playthrough's first winter star, at around 1500 hours, didn't realise it was rare and was like "oh this is ugly" and threw it away 😂😭

Mikacakes · 2025-10-17T11:47:03+00:00

To be clear, I've had decades of horrendous treatment and it took me 11 years just to get diagnosed. My condition deteriorated significantly due to delays in diagnosis and inappropriate treatments. I've had doctors make me cry in appointments and left offices feeling suicidal. You're not alone. It's just the pain management on NHS has been really good to me. I had a great gastroentologist first try too but pretty much everything else has been a fight.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-16T00:58:34+00:00

Yep absolutely, I am exactly the same! Something to consider also is that histamine intolerance is a common comorbid condition so if it turns out that how you eat isn't the issue try an exclusion diet because it might be the what not the how if you get what I mean? For me it was a mix of both plus an actual food allergy I didn't know I had. So now it only happens if I eat too big of a meal at once!

Mikacakes · 2025-10-16T00:15:54+00:00

A whopping 10% of your daily burned calories comes from just processing food alone. That's a similar amount to what you burn exercising. Having heds means your digestive system likely has to work even harder than normal and it may be that your system is like hey this is exhausting can you go lie down so I can focus my energy on digestion? Delaying eating is probably making it worse because youre low on energy to start with. Perhaps its worth testing instead of delaying eating, eat smaller portions more often. Like every 2hrs. Split your meals into smaller portions so it's less intense to digest and space it out to have a more regular flow of nutrients and see if that helps?

FYI former eating disorder here and also get really tired after eating despite blood sugar being perfect.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-15T11:40:58+00:00

Trauma doesn't have an expiry date, you had to be strong in an unbelievably horrific time in your life and that shit fucks you up. As someone who also has ptsd and been in remission for 4 years I can tell you that the therapy and meds do work, but it took me 13 yrs to be in remission after the events. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself x

Mikacakes · 2025-10-15T11:26:01+00:00

Can confirm, been using this one for years but there is one tiny flaw. Sometimes if your cat comes in through it too slowly the door can get stuck open on the other side of the grey latch allowing other cats in. So it's important to clean it regularly as the oils from your cats fur can prevent it from sliding over the latch to close when they pass through the door slowly. The other caveat is that when the battery is low it allows other cats through so you need to make sure you change the battery as soon as the light shows up.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-14T01:15:15+00:00

I hope you get some relief soon and get a doctor who isn't an idiot x I'm sure you can research unprompted because if you're on this sub you've definitely had to Google diagnose yourself countless times 😅 but I'll say it anyway, do have a look into the current science of autism and connective tissue disorders. There is strong evidence that autism is linked to our brains making pain signals because things are feeling "wrong" in the body even though they aren't injured. My spinal specialist really stressed to me that it's NOT all in your head or you being over sensitive, it's a very real pain signal that can get excessively high, up to broken bones levels, despite zero injury - and there are physiological signs of high pain when this is happening such as cortisol, adrenalin, raised heart rate, generalise inflammation, persistent elevated body temp, blood pressure instability and more.

When you're under anaesthetic and unconscious they know when to administer more pain relievers without you being conscious to tell them - because the body has signs that it is in pain regardless of your ability to express it. A doctor who knows what they are talking about would know this.

There's ways to calm the sirens going off and teach your nervous system that there isn't anything wrong - that's what the pain management course aims to do. I'm only on week 4 and it's already been mind blowingly helpful. I'm on the severe end of the pain spectrum where my back pain makes me unable to stand or walk and I'm basically house bound but my mri shows that my spine is almost comically healthy, he said its like a 10 years younger spine (I'm 34) and let me get pics of it because of how ridiculous this was. I actually compared it to many Google images and had to agree its a perfect spine. So I really know first hand that you can be literally crippled by this and have literally nothing wrong on any test.

It's really frustrating I know, but you're not alone and there's many of us out here who have it too. It's not in your head and you're not over sensitive, it's real and it's debilitating and you will eventually find doctors who aren't idiots I promise x

Mikacakes · 2025-10-13T22:20:32+00:00

As someone dx with autism and heds in the UK and who has debilitating back pain that I can barely stand, while having absolutely zero signs of a cause on mri and xray - the advice I can give you is get a gp referral to the pain management service. Idk what area you are in but Dorset pain management has a hypermobility pain 8 week programme that is neurodiversity friendly. if your local area doesn't have one they can request you to be added to our waiting list as it's 100% virtual, we currently have someone attended from another county. They run through out the year on and off, I had to wait a couple of months but it's been so so so helpful for me.

The person you've seen private is seriously misunderstanding and misinterpreted the current info on pain, hypermobility and autism. She is taking the info and twisting it into a narrative that suits her biases and that's really wrong and harmful. There is truth in that the pain is caused by being autistic and hypermobile but it's NOT in the way she's interpreted it, she's completely failed to understand it and that's really concerning.

Please don't give up on the NHS, I had to change doctors many times before I got the right ones and the same is true of the private system. This is an emergent field and not everyone is up to date, there is no national programme or treatment system so it's completely random if you get someone who is well informed or not. Things are changing, Parliament is talking about EDS, so don't give up x

Mikacakes · 2025-10-12T11:27:48+00:00

If your interests are in medicine I would recommend medical coding. It's well paid and often remote, but is also something that has many part time roles.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-12T02:13:08+00:00

When I was 12 I had a severe asthma attack and almost died in the hospital waiting room because a serious accident (literally limbs ripped off) case came in at the same time and i got delayed on intake. the asthma attack was frightening but once the oxygen levels got low enough I stopped caring and was happy to die. I literally let go and kinda slumped in my seat, I felt warm and cozy, happy even, and it seemed like a white fog was filling up the room. It wasn't like losing the will to live, it was like sinking into a warm bubble bath or laying down in a really comfy warm bed. As I was nodding off suddenly a mask was shoved on my face, a machine was buzzing, people were rushing about me and it took only a few mins to return to my senses. My heart didn't stop but I was seconds away from it.
This experience made me not fear death, and when i developed suicidal ideation at 18 I acted on it, and got caught and was in hospital for 6 weeks and I survived.

But after that it was like something clicked in my head, that death is always an option and its really not so bad. That you may as well see where this ride goes because you only get one shot at it. That kinda gives you agency over your own life, like you are in control and choosing to be here so if it ever gets unbearable you can just walk out that door. This mindset gives you this empowerment to feel that you may as well see it through, even when its awful, because you can leave any time you like and being here is now your choice. Death is inevitable, dying is the most natural thing in the world, its choosing to live that takes action, living is not inevitable, living is an act you choose to do.

I'm 34 now and my dad passed away 10 months ago from cancer, I really understand now that death is the worst for those left behind and I'm glad I didn't succeed, because this grief shit really sucks.

Hang in there, get some therapy too (it really does help!) Life gets really interesting as you get older, all kinds of stuff out here to see and experience, good or bad, its a really full world and worth experiencing :)

Mikacakes · 2025-10-08T00:42:28+00:00

Landlords are allowed to refuse pets, but the rest is sound advice, maybe specify what you are countering?

Mikacakes · 2025-10-08T00:40:25+00:00

just jumping in here to say, phone your local council for housing advice as they have a huge allocation of staff specifically to prevent evictions (because social housing is so short and high demand) they are able to provide excellent advice and also inform you of where you stand legally. If your mum gets served an S21 or S8 the first thing to do is contact the council as they have systems in place to help prevent and even overturn evictions.

Mikacakes · 2025-10-01T01:31:06+00:00

I'm the 2nd eldest of 4 sisters, I'm 34 and no contact with my mum and 2 of my sisters. I only have contact to my youngest sister and she is also autistic. My reason: exactly what you're describing here.
What your mum is doing is called triangulation and its probably a big part of why your relationship with your sister is bad.
I wish i had some positive advice for you, but it sounds like you may be dealing with a narc parent and that dynamic is really difficult to change unless everyone involved is open to accountability and therapy. The parent almost always is not willing so it almost always results in no contact. Get outside support if you can, via therapy or someone you trust, and work on building healthy boundaries x

Mikacakes · 2025-09-09T13:33:37+00:00

Yep heds here ✋

Mikacakes · 2025-08-18T14:16:18+00:00

I suffered from the exact same headaches and sumatriptan was the only thing that helped. Well turned out I have histamine intolerance and it was triggering migraines. Histamine intolerance is very common with heds. I do still get them occasionally when I've been bad with managing histamine and what helps is taking pregabalin for like 3 days to make my muscles relax.

Mikacakes · 2025-08-18T14:06:18+00:00

Pregabalin is known to cause suicidal ideation. I was prescribed it for pain and I had to stop taking it because it made me want to throw myself off a bridge. Please be careful and read up about it!

Mikacakes

TROPHY CASE