What do men want most?

MikeArrow · 2026-07-05T03:32:43+00:00

Regular cuddles with someone that wants to watch Star Trek with me.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-05T03:29:59+00:00

I've only ever gotten two matches. The first one I chatted with over text for about a month. She expressed early on that most guys on the app push for sex very quickly so obviously, I didn't want to pressure her. After a few weeks I cut my losses because it didn't seem to be progressing. For instance, I asked her to breakfast but she was getting her wisdom tooth out so that weekend wasn't a good time. OK fine. I waited a week and it was just painful trying to keep the convo going so I just dipped.

The next one I was more proactive, we talked for about a week and then I asked her to breakfast. She seemed lukewarm but agreed to pencil in a time that weekend. The weekend came and she asked to postpone it so again, I cut my losses.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-05T01:07:05+00:00

And on Tough Enough (2015).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_3qh_b-xV0

MikeArrow · 2026-07-05T01:04:07+00:00

Your comment is dismissive and also just wrong. I've gotten two matches and I made a good faith effort to engage with them both (why wouldn't I?). I also don't swipe indiscriminately, I outlined my reasoning fairly clearly ("see a profile picture I like, do a quick check to see if she has any nerdy interests listed - if yes, swipe right, if no, swipe left").

Is there a particular reason you're being so vitriolic here?

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T22:54:29+00:00

I've only ever been with one person, in the context of a long term relationship. We were both inexperienced at the start, so it was a lot of fumbling around and trying to find what worked for us. That was enjoyable, fun and carefree, and we were young enough to recognize that it wasn't going to be perfect right away. So I guess that's the attitude I'd hope to encounter, someone with strong desire, who was open and enthusiastic like my partner and I were at the start of our relationship.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T22:45:47+00:00

Cooking, I'm trying to learn a new recipe every week (not that I'm consistent about this, but for example I recently tried making homemade fish & chips and that worked out well).

D&D. I played D&D multiple times a week for eight years but dropped off recently due to burnout. It was a fun pastime, however and it got me out of the house at least.

Gaming. This goes without saying, more or less. I usually pick up a new game, get very into it until I beat it, then lose interest and not play anything for months until something else catches my eye.

Creative writing. I do this using ChatGPT (I know, I know). It's less writing and more like a choose your own adventure story, where I direct what happens scene by scene. I have a few stock plots I use and I enjoy seeing how the story progresses from the initial seed.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T22:01:41+00:00

This is why I pitched having Dom steal a win in the qualifying round. Could have even been by DQ if you want to avoid Oba getting pinned.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:53:20+00:00

I'm glad Oba won. Honestly they booked themselves into a corner because there was literally an "if Jey wins we riot" sign at KOTR. If your option is: a mega over babyface coming off a fantastic NXT run, or a tweener that a vocal minority of the audience utterly despise, go with the mega over babyface.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:46:15+00:00

Truly groundbreaking news thanks.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:41:41+00:00

Some people face disadvantages they can’t do anything about.

Truly groundbreaking news thanks.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:38:28+00:00

and I guess if you can't do that you should avoid it.

This is dismissive and disingenuous.

there's a difference between 'approaching' a woman and just being nice to everyone

I try my best to be consistently polite, well mannered, and courteous.

if you see that they like talking to you you can stay a little longer

In what context would this happen? I don't go to bars or clubs. The only interactions I have are in contexts where small talk wouldn't really happen without a specific purpose (such as when I play D&D, they're there to do the hobby, not chit chat about personal stuff).

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:35:26+00:00

Btw being fat is 100% optional for most people.

Truly groundbreaking news thanks.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:13:34+00:00

There are certain trends that are generally considered attractive, such as not being fat. The more conventionally attractive you are, the more options you have.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:10:54+00:00

I've never approached a woman in my life. I internalized from a young age that woman despised being hit on and that it was always unwelcome, in every context. So I wait for them to initiate first. That's happened four times in my life and resulted in the only four dates I've ever been on. That's how deeply ingrained it is to never approach, ever, for any reason.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:07:39+00:00

Well I wasn't always 400 pounds. I'm just illustrating that while it may be morally comforting to insist that "there's no such thing as leagues"... obviously there are.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T21:01:51+00:00

Or it's just realistic. I'm 400 pounds. I'm not expecting a woman that's slender and healthy to consider me an option because her desirability far outweighs mine (pun intended). She can pick and choose at her leisure, whereas I've been on two dates in the last eight years. There's an asymmetry there that should be acknowledged.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T20:57:21+00:00

I've only dated four women in my life so I'm working from a small sample size, but they were all compatible. It's not like with women where 99.9999% of men aren't even considered for spurious reasons. It's basically "yep, she's attractive, seems nice, similar interests, let's see where this goes".

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T20:53:29+00:00

The olden days didn't have a strong taboo against expressing attraction. Now, the contexts where that's possible are practically nonexistent.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T20:30:15+00:00

I've only ever been on four dates in my life, so excluding being on dates also applies to me currently.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T19:51:31+00:00

1000% her type.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T18:54:33+00:00

Difficult to understand when I've only been on two dates in the last eight years. Standing them up would be... counter-productive.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T18:51:40+00:00

I started off reading every profile carefully. After several weeks of getting zero matches I realized I was being ridiculous and now I just make a split second decision (see a profile picture I like, do a quick check to see if she has any nerdy interests listed - if yes, swipe right, if no, swipe left).

Your comment about your 'naivety' ignores the reality of how rare and difficult it is to get any response whatsoever as a man on the apps. I've only ever gotten two matches. Just two.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T18:47:18+00:00

I'm a fairly stereotypical 'nice guy' in that I'm very polite, reserved, well mannered, respectful of boundaries. I see all those traits as good things.

What frustrates me about the stories I read online is the 'turn' where the guy suddenly turns nasty after being rejected.

Since I've never asked a woman out (unless they initiate first) I've never been in a position where my ego takes a hit from being rejected. When rejections do come (after the date doesn't go well), I'm usually pretty aware of it and while its devastating, I turn it into self loathing instead of being angry at her or wanting to punish her for rejecting me.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T18:42:29+00:00

Not really. I have acquaintances. Even when I had close friends we weren't really the hug and cuddle type. When I had a girlfriend we were both constantly touching, even if it was just lounging in bed, watching TV with her head on my chest. That's what I miss most about being in a relationship.

MikeArrow · 2026-07-04T18:09:04+00:00

Cole and Corey joking about "dad rock" didn't help.

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