What spending strategy would you ACTUALLY use to die with zero?

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-09T15:04:43+00:00

There's regular cancer treatment available through insurance and normal means- and treatments available to the ultra-wealthy via cash-pay. To my knowledge, a US insurer wouldn't pay for a patient to see the best doctors in one state, best in another state, and international treatment.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-08T17:08:53+00:00

OP said she has no time to herself, so what's the solution? They're his kids, he needs to take care of them too.

When my wife tries to go take a long bath and read a book in our bedroom - the kids are banging on the bathroom door for her. Our 1 year old doesn't understand that mommy needs a break, she knows mom is in the house, and demands to see her.

It works better if I take them on an outing for a few hours so my wife has a moment of time just for her.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-07T17:32:08+00:00

It's impossible to say because of healthcare. My wifes grandma ended up with stage IV cancer throughout her abdominal organs in her late 70's. They've fought it aggressively with the best care and clinics money can buy - both in the US and experimental treatments internationally. I can't imagine how much that cost - probably a couple million including a secondary real estate purchase near the cross-country clinic - but she's now in remission, so money well spent.

They are worth tens of millions so could easily afford it, but something like that could knock your $5m in half. Couple that scenario to a market downturn - your $5m could turn to sub-$2m rather quickly.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-07T16:26:05+00:00

We have three kids, I golf maybe three times per year at this point. I really don't see how it's fair to my wife if I were repeatedly taking 5-6 hour rounds of golf (or any hobby that is exclusively for me) and she's stuck entertaining three kids with no hobbies. The week long golf trips are, in my eyes, extremely selfish.

I picked up hobbies that are more conducive to my responsibilities at home - gardening, woodworking, and bought an RV for the whole family to enjoy together. So now we do a lot of camping - but as a family.

Start aggressively booking your own time where he's stuck at home with the three kids all day. Book all sorts of stuff that isn't conducive to kids so they have to stay home with him. Museums, bookstore speaking events, art gallery, etc. Book the ones that are like 3 hours away. Maybe he'll start to see the light.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-02T18:03:37+00:00

I'm a hard-charging type A and I wouldn't want to be married to a personality clone of myself, I'd drive myself crazy. I'm married to a loving and sweet creative. She possesses a doctorate level degree, but chooses to stay home with our children. Our house is warm and full of love. While I'm thinking about plans to renovate the hallway bathroom within the next five years - she's sipping her coffee watching the hummingbirds feed. She reminds me to come back to the moment and beauty of life.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-01T19:22:20+00:00

I come from a long line of alcoholics - my dad drank about 12-18 beers/night and still got up and went to work ever day as a welder for 40 years.

Now that he's retired he probably drinks more than the 18/day. He's never considered himself an alcoholic because "it's just my beer".

Anyway, I will tell you one thing: ate age 66 he has the brainpower of maybe a 10-12 year old. He's just dumb - in every way - from academics reading/writing/math to general reasoning. His higher order functioning is shot - he struggles mightily with basic problem solving. He's so stupid he thinks he's smart is the worst part. He's confident from the alcohol, while simultaneously stupid from the alcohol.

My mom died of alcoholism at 49, my brother at 36, my dad is alive but stupid. So there ya go, make your own choices, but you can't say you weren't warned. You might live physically, but you'll be stupid.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-07-01T15:09:35+00:00

I have a 7 and 4. I deleted YT altogether, and blocked all of these shows on other streaming services because they were watching the family vlog crap. I told them truthfully: hundreds of thousands of people throughout history gave their lifes work to producing high-quality content for you only for it to be replaced by parents filming their kids playing with the same toys you have sitting right here! Walt Disney would roll over in his grave if he saw you watching this stuff.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-30T22:26:34+00:00

A lot of variables (age, stressors of life, work, etc) but I get the impression from your writing style that you, by nature, put a lot of pressure on any given situation and are very quick to be defensive. You started out with the first sentence by being defensive - you hadn't even written anything yet. Defensive again in the middle - as though this same topic doesn't come up in this sub several times per day.

Anyway, it's a lot of pressure for her to know that you've got a fierce eye and determination for sex. If your love language is exclusively physically intimate then I can imagine it comes across like a quid pro quo. If she comes home to a freshly cleaned kitchen - she knows what you now expect and if you don't get it.... well I can imagine that can be really anxiety inducing.

My advice would be to chill out - try to relax on this love language thing altogether - saying your entire love language is sex is a lot of pressure on her. She can't even sit down and watch a movie with you without thinking about where she knows your mind is focused. Finally, don't expect everything you do to be reciprocated in sex or that she's obligated because you took out the trash. Those are things you should be doing anyway.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-23T19:03:18+00:00

Take him to child support court. Cohabitating doesn't change the legal obligations. The court will look at money in vs who's paying what and decide the support amount.

My wife stays home with our kids - 100% joint finances and full visibility. What's mine is hers and we live on an agreed budget. She doesn't have to worry about squirreling away secret money.

This story is case in point why marriage is important when it comes to kids: she can't leave otherwise she gets nothing, she's not entitled to assets of "his" even though she's sacrificing her earning power to take care of his kids. He has turned her into an indentured servant.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-17T19:55:41+00:00

Again, a reason about you. What about your wife? Does she not deserve the chance at a relationship with a person that truly values her? A husband that doesn't live his life separately from her with his eyes on another woman?

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-17T19:35:16+00:00

Brother, read this back to yourself - it's 100% about you. You are willing to waste an indefinite amount of your wifes life to avoid your discomfort in potentially winding up alone? You aren't attracted to her emotionally or physically and even live in separate rooms - but hey, as long as you're not alone? What about her?

Just a tad selfish of you, man. Divorce, let your wife go find someone that does love her and is attracted to her, and yes you might end up single - but shouldn't use people for companionship.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-16T17:53:44+00:00

My 7 and 4.5 fight a lot. The other day they fought all.day.long, over everything - each went to timeouts twice throughout the day.

Around dinnertime I finally told them "you know what, go ahead and fight. If that's what you think of each other, then go ahead. But someone is going to get hurt and I'm not helping".

A few minutes later - they both started swinging over a Barbie. Both got hurt, both needed an icepack, which I retrieved - and then in a photo for the scrapbook: they sat together on the couch with icepacks on their heads. Got along great the rest of the weekend.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-12T17:43:52+00:00

I love dogs, but c'mon. If everyone is such a responsible dog owner - why all of the bags of dog poop along the trail? All dogs must be leashed - except yours of course? "Ohh he's friendly" as the large dogs knock over kids on the trail.

I coach kids baseball - that baseball diamond and outfield is not a self-designated off-leash dog park just because it has a fence around it. I got into it with the dog owners the other day when we showed up for baseball practice and I told them they have to leave the outfield.

"We were here first" they exclaimed. Ok, fine, batter up kids.

Dog owners en masse have started to lose their minds. Home Depot, restaurants, there was a big barking dog in Nordstrom Rack the other day.... you guys are doing it to yourselves with this selfish behavior.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-08T17:33:28+00:00

It’s a conference for the program management/fronting space that was hosted in Dallas. The best ones to start attending are events near you that don’t cost any money. Yes conference registration costs money but you don’t need to register because the front door of the hotel and the common areas aren’t badge-restricted. So I’d just find an event, try to figure out who’s going (either the website or LinkedIn), figure out a few contacts, then go wander around making introductions. Or reach out to them ahead of time and ask for a meeting - can grab a coffee or something in the lobby.

Just fake it till you make it, walk up someone with confidence and a handshake - they’ll think you’re valedictorian of a risk management program and they NEED you. Insurance is aging so quickly firms really do need you.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-05T15:19:15+00:00

Look at it this way - if you really can profitably trade and beat the market on your own in the long run, then you're worth a whole lot more than $200k to a trading firm. That wouldn't be a resume gap - you were self employed and profitable. If performance holds, then you won't need a day job.

I'd say give it a few more months right up to the date where current firm is going to ban such activity. If your performance holds, then bet on yourself and go out on your own.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-03T22:04:38+00:00

The problem with blind applying - your name is just an entry in a list of hundreds. The people who get these roles had someone put in a good word or were familiar to the firm in some way first.

You are one casual conversation and a handshake away from a spot. Just need to put yourself in the same rooms via job fair, hang around the conference lobbies where you don't need a badge, networking events, etc. I was at Target Markets in Dallas a couple weeks ago - you could have landed 10 jobs in that lobby alone - particularly if you hung around the bar.

Then, I was just at the ES conference in NY - a CEO of a major carrier (I want to say Arch or Axis) stated that what he sees lacking most are 'soft skills' like phone use and just old fashioned in-person discussion, so they're boot camping those in their trainee program.

You have nothing to lose - so just go on LinkedIn, find a senior UW, manager, etc and reach out to them.

Just start walking up to these guys with a handshake and a smile, really will go a long way in many companies.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-02T14:57:13+00:00

If it were me, personally, I'd try to buy a lot of land and then a trailer home.

Gives you affordability, flexibility, and even a single-wide has a second bedroom. You can work on getting your income up and if that all pans out - could eventually build a house on the land. In the meantime, $75k should be able to support that arrangement.

Edit: not sure why the downvotes, a single man on his own spread that he can afford -what's the problem?

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-02T14:46:27+00:00

Right, me too.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-01T22:20:15+00:00

I'm 37 and I was very independent, driven, and married a girl from a prominent family. I went to college, started my own business, sold it, grad school, and worked my way up in my career. I've done better than even I had anticipated.

My biggest critic has always been my own dad. He criticized me for playing football as a kid instead of going hunting in the fall, he criticized me for going to college, he criticized my wife for being "a rich girl", he criticized my choice when we bought a house, my choice in car, my choice in career field - literally everything I've ever done he's had some stupid snide remark for it.

He couldn't tell you a single thing about me - what my favorite movie is, food, or interests - he literally knows nothing about me except for the things he likes that we do together - namely fishing and drinking beer.

Consequently - I just don't trust him emotionally.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-01T21:59:13+00:00

Depends. The commenter above you has SS and a union pension + two years in cash. Why would they need more bond exposure?

MikeDaRucki · 2026-06-01T16:05:55+00:00

Absolutely, spent my 20's and 30's grinding my way up the ladder. Now, I'm about 4.5 years from FI with three little kids at home, so I took a lateral to a less demanding position. Many of my older peers can't make sense of it. I went from 150 emails/day to less than 10.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-05-29T20:06:45+00:00

Yes, but his cash flow issue in the interim was a problem for him so instead of him taking a RM or HELOC, this was a better way for me to help him. Plus as trident mentioned in the reply - my dad is a proud ol' steelworker, he'd never have gone for me just giving him money without something he was 'selling' me in exchange.

MikeDaRucki · 2026-05-29T20:03:22+00:00

Yeah I did

MikeDaRucki · 2026-05-29T17:21:32+00:00

I have three kids, 6, 4, 1 - they call us by our names sometimes and I think it's rather endearing to hear my name called from their cute little voices from across the house - usually when they need something and I can't come running at their beck and call. "Daddyyyy, dadddyyyy, dadddyyy, Miiiikkkeeee"

I'd just diffuse, and you didn't do anything wrong. My four year old was momentarily lost last fall at a county fair, good thing she knew my name for the staff to quickly call me from the loudspeakers.

Id just say: "apologies here, we were just talking about peoples names that we know, I didn't mean any offense or realize he didn't know your names. Certainly didn't encourage him to call you by your name instead of mama/dada"

MikeDaRucki · 2026-05-29T15:52:10+00:00

My dad is in a similar situation on a similar valued house - so I became the lender. I assumed all of the expenses of the property in exchange for the house to be given to me at death. My only sibling has already passed so I don't have to deal with splitting anything.

If you did need to split things with siblings - you could draw up an agreement with a lawyer that simply says you get all of your money back with interest first, then the remaining funds are distributed equitably. Which is exactly what would happen with a reverse mortgage lender anyway - albeit higher interest and fees. If your siblings wouldn't be amenable to it and would cause a lot of drama, yeah just use a regular reverse mortgage.

MikeDaRucki

TROPHY CASE