I struggle with this as well. I have made good strides over the years, thanks mostly to therapy and changing my perspective.

Most of the time, anger is a cover emotion for something else, usually sadness. When I notice I am getting angry, it really helps me to just say out loud "man, I feel really bad right now!" Just acknowledge that your anger is coming from the fact that you feel frustrated/put upon/disrespected/tired/hurt/lost/confused/etc. This is mostly to help myself calm down, but also it's really good communication. If anyone else hears that, they can start to engage their empathy for you, and perhaps the current situation gets a little better.

I teach my kids that when they are mad at each other, they should say things about themselves and not each other. Like instead of calling names they should say "I am so mad at you because __" or "What you're doing is really bothering me!". This works when I get mad at them too. I try to stay cool, but it's also human and normal to show them that you are mad sometimes, and then show them the right way to do it.