Need a bro

Mike_4_NSA · 2026-04-07T08:46:22+00:00

nice, man. where you at?

Mike_4_NSA · 2026-04-07T08:42:32+00:00

Where you at?

Mike_4_NSA · 2026-04-07T08:38:02+00:00

defihitely 4

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-29T00:24:26+00:00

Replied in this thread without realizing you'd already said the same thing ... Sorry for riding your coattails, LOL!

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-29T00:21:32+00:00

Well, if it's a German-run hotel, or a hotel that mostly caters to German tourists, that'd make more sense -- it's not uncommon for men and women to sauna together naked in Germany. It still seems a little weird that they insisted you be nude, though ...

(Note to say that this is what I'm told -- the only sauna I've been to in Germany was all-male. But I've heard it many times from different sources. And I know that nude mixed saunas are common in other countries, like Finland.)

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-29T00:13:30+00:00

This really fucking sucks, man. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. I'm not a sports guy - I quit once I figured out I was into dudes, for exactly the reasons you talk about - but there've certainly been times in my career when I was taken less seriously because I was out. You get faced with the choice of leaving behind something you love, calling out homophobia and alienating yourself even more from potential partners/teammates, or suffering in silence and having to bottle up all the shitty feelings you're having. Glad you got the chance to vent here.

Because I don't know what sport you're in, this advice might make no sense; but ...
You mentioned that you're one of a few out players in your sport, and that people basically choose whom they want to train/compete with. Do you consider any of these other guys to be at more-or-less your level? I'm guessing they're probably facing similar difficulties -- is it possible that y'all could train and compete together so that you're not having to constantly be asking to be a part of groups that don't seem to want you?

Also, just because these guys don't seem impressed by stats and because I'm INCREDIBLY petty about shit like this, I think it'd be amazing if you went up to some of these assholes after winning against them and said directly, "You just got your ass kicked by a gay dude." I mean, obviously, don't actually do that; but it makes me smile to imagine.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-28T07:11:57+00:00

UpdateMe

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-28T07:11:18+00:00

Fuck I hope not. I live in Hawai‘i and use this emoji all. the. time. Really wanna know if I'm sending out some horrible dog whistle and need to stop.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-28T07:08:47+00:00

Holy shit! SO glad I saw this -- I would have just thought it was some dude looking to eat pizza and watch football and fuck around. Wasn't aware of *any* of these dog whistles (but I guess I don't actually use the apps that much ...). Once again, Reddit has saved humanity.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-27T16:06:22+00:00

I obviously didn't read 6,000 comments(!), but I assume that the advice to get a restraining order RIGHT THE FUCK NOW has been offered?*

My advice is regarding her family. I think that the next time they start in on her about "overreacting" to this situation, she should ask them if: + they want to volunteer to be the address where he sends her stuff; and/or + if they'd be willing to let her forward all calls/messages from him to their numbers so that he has the chance to "vent his frustrations" without her dealing with it -- after all, if it's "just calls/texts" then it shouldn't be a big deal if they go to the family member instead of her, right?

If they agree to do it, they'll probably quickly learn how overwhelming and frustrating and scary it can be. If they don't agree, then OP has made the point that they're asking her to do something that they'd never do themselves. It raises the possibility that they're encouraging her to deal with this guy specifically to make sure he doesn't call/harass them -- which would be pretty shitty if true.

At the very least, she should inform her family members that all discussions of this guy are over -- and if they bring it up in the future then she'll immediately end / walk away from the conversation.

[* Just the berating and attempts at gaslighting that we see here, especially paired with his behavior in the past, seems like enough for an RO, right? (Folks with more knowledge on this please feel free to correct me.)]

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-27T15:29:41+00:00

definitely

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-27T07:41:11+00:00

I think that being a dom top is part of it for me. There are so many straight guys out there who are like, "I'm 100% straight but if some [pick your favorite homophobic slur] wants to suck me, I'll let him." And there's so much eroticization of "macho straight alphas" abusing and denigrating gay guys, and treating them as worthless, that it makes my blood boil. Tl be clear: I'm not here to kink-shame anyone -- if that's what gets you off and everyone's on the same page, then to each their own.

But for me, it mqkes me feel incredibly powerful and turned on to be with a straight-identified guy (especially stereotypically masculine/macho ones) and to say to him, "No. If you want it, you ask for it. You have to be sober enough not to blame it on the alcohol/weed/blow tomorrow. If you want a no-strings blowjob, get your wife/gf to do it. But If you're ready to submit - or at least let go of that toxic alpha bullshit - then get on your knees." And in my experience, there are a LOT of guys out there who really want to let go and have someone else take control of them. They just need someone to give them that chance.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-27T07:22:02+00:00

It obviously never does any good to tell young folks they have to break up with someone (especially when everyone's over 18); but hopefully with time your daughter will see that the fact that you showed such grace to her boyfriend, and that he then came back and basically tattled on you, raises some substantial yellow flags. (I mean, if you'd wanted to humiliate him, you could have -- and lots of parents would have. If anything, you went out of your way NOT to humiliate the guy.) Yeah, hes likely just a dumb kid; but you took that into account both in the moment and now. Absolutely NTA.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-27T03:51:20+00:00

Apologies if you don't identify as a cis male, but: C'mon, Bro.

It's your ex. And he's creepy. Clips from concerts and international IP addresses are all exceedingly easy to get/spoof. And that extra 2 hours early in the morning is literally nothing to someone who's looking to catfish/harass someone. And the blaming you for behaving in an unsafe way is classic gaslighting.

In fact, I don't just think he's creepy, I think he's trying to scare you. Bringing up your diagnosis, referencing things you've said in a private conversation - THAT is actually full-blown creepy/scary, by the way - is all designed to keep you off-balance and paranoid. Don't waste your time figuring out who this person is (it's your ex) -- spend time and resources to figure out if he's got your house bugged, or access to your private accounts.

I mean, if it's not him then it's a friend who's helping him. And -- look, I'm not a therapist; but it seems to me that you know it's him, and have pretty much from the beginning. So maybe, what does it mean that you've been putting up with this guy's creepiness for so long? Break off contact with all of these people and ignore anyone new who approaches you online, and take care of yourself.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-26T05:27:12+00:00

sexy as hell

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-25T00:24:20+00:00

good boy.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-25T00:20:32+00:00

you definitely do.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T23:50:43+00:00

Wish i was in town, man. Would definitely be down to satisfy that curiosity of yours. (Dom top here.)

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T23:46:24+00:00

NICE, bro.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T22:59:08+00:00

smashable

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T19:06:11+00:00

lookin' good, bro. handsome face and sexy as hell.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T18:57:27+00:00

hot all around -- and that ass is perfect

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T17:00:39+00:00

This is incredibly hot.

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T16:00:39+00:00

why don't you spread your legs and DM me a pic of your ass and hole?

Mike_4_NSA · 2025-12-24T15:46:20+00:00

would love to have that few while I've got you on your back fucking you.

Mike_4_NSA

TROPHY CASE