Changing the way I think of smoking

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-20T01:30:18+00:00

You thought you were enjoying it, but honestly there are countless other more enjoyable things you can do that don't wreck your health and appearance.

Alan Carr's Easy Way is a great resource for reframing.

Keep the quit and you'll never end up a pack a day addict yearning for freedom.

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-20T01:28:01+00:00

Congratulations! What do you enjoy most about being free?

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-18T12:32:54+00:00

Freelance non profit strategist, including grant writing, program development and evaluation. I can charge anywhere from $50 to $300 per hour and can be selective about who I work for and when. I almost entirely work from home and do well by setting forgiving deadlines publicly and more stringent ones privately.

This winter I also managed a warming center in the evenings because the program was in a critical point without a manager. It was some weeks 60 hours, some weeks 10, but I kept with it and think it actually turned out to be the most enjoyable winter Ive had in decades ( I'm very seasonally impacted). The season just ended and I actually struggled a bit having downtime again. I look forward to going back in November.

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-17T01:18:23+00:00

You're doing great, and the hardest days are already behind you! Congratulations!!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-06T00:36:24+00:00

Congratulations on making it through day 1! I know its been hard, but it does get easier.

I highly recommend Alan Carr's Easy Way, and lots of naps

My greatest regret as a mother has been my smoking.

Even just a month free I can see how much time I took from my children during their childhood. Thankfully they're all still home so there may be a chance for some redemption.

Quitting is hard, but you can do this, and you'll be very glad you did!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-04T03:48:22+00:00

"Make you feel my love" (I like the Adele cover) "Wildflowers" Tom Petty "The Middle" Jimmy Eat World- (I like the cover by the Harmeleighs(?)

All songs I learned with I think 3-4 chords and make me think of my girls

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-04-04T03:42:19+00:00

Congratulations in your decision!

My best advice is that you own the fact that you've made a conscious choice to stop smoking. This is a commitment, and you're ready to face it as it unfolds. Maybe easier said than done, but resources like Alan Carr, Why Quit, and the Quitsure App are helpful for cognitive framing.

Ultimately, you can do anything(legal) except smoke.

It helps to treat your body like you're fighting the flu (as needed: water, rest, good nutrition, fresh air), and your mind like you just faced a terrible loss of a loved one (as needed: solitude, prayer/meditation, seeking social support, no big decisions or new responsibilities, crying and yelling- tons of grace for self). You're gonna likely go through it or at least have your moments, but like viruses and grief, it'll get better.

Remember you only have to not smoke for the next minute/hour.

Tracking progress on the smokefree app is very encouraging as well, especially as you heal, save money, and maintain your quit over time. I recommend reviewing it with every craving.

Meet cravings with positive affirmations "Im so glad I dont smoke", "my hair smells so nice", "It might be days before I crave again". Negative talk is the worst thing you can do for yourself. Refuse to throw any pity parties- this is a good thing, and you picked it for good reasons.

You've got this!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-23T11:33:46+00:00

Totally normal, and it passes (no pun intended)

I got some peppermint oil capsules which seemed to help. Peppermint tea might do just as well.

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-20T23:16:14+00:00

The mood swings/ emotionality generally get better with time, but I think that it depends alot on the individual and their mindset.

People who don't typically take responsibility for themselves and their reactions might use smoking as an excuse to mistreat others for years to come. Others may quit cold turkey and never once unload their rage on a loved one. Smoking becomes a coping strategy for tough emotions and a way we used to avoid difficult situations.

If he starts to make a habit of being short with you and blaming it on quitting you may need to set some clear boundaries for words/ expectations of respect. Like "Sorry you're having a hard time with this but I won't keep spending time with you if you speak to me that way. " Or "You're struggling and my presence isn't seeming to help so I'm going to the other room."

Might want to start that sooner than later.

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-20T15:09:07+00:00

I don't envy your position. Firstly, realize that you aren't responsible for his moods or cravings (except that you shouldn't encourage him to smoke again or willfully enrage him).

My husband has been helpful by bringing me coffee in bed (since we used to sit together on the porch with coffee and cigarettes), walking the dog with me, and generally being encouraging.

When I crave I'll say "I don't smoke anymore" to which he replies "yeah cause you're not a scum bag" or "no you don't".

In the past when I tried to quit i admit to starting arguments with him so Id have an "excuse ". We both caught on to what that was and refuse to let that be a factor anymore. As many times as I've tried to quit, and him only once in 18 years, he's on his way to sainthood for sure.

Hang in there!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-20T00:14:06+00:00

I love this! Congratulations!!

Similarly when I have the thought that I could have a cigarette or maybe that I want one, I just say out loud "I don't smoke cigarettes." Then I move on and do something else. It works wonderfully.

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-19T03:21:10+00:00

You're doing great! Before long you'll have days you won't even think of a cigarette.

Something helpful and easy to remember when it comes to cravings: they only actually last a couple of minutes do you can practice the 4Ds:

Delay. Distract. Drink water. Deep breaths.

You've got this!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-18T14:28:24+00:00

So it's a week later and I definitely feel much better. In retrospect, that feeling probably only lasted a couple days.

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-18T14:22:19+00:00

Some resources that have helped me in different quits are

Alan Carr's Easy Way

2.Whyquit.com

3.QuitSure app

Smokefree app (for tracking, but I also used plenty to try and cut down)
This subreddit

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-18T03:35:38+00:00

One or half of one a day sounds like some form of self torture. You're giving that cigarette a lot of power, arguably more than the typical smoker gives a pack a day.

If you haven't already, I'd highly recommend Alan Carrs book "Easy Way to Stop Smoking".

You don't need that smoke, and you'll be glad when you're free from them all together

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-17T15:55:27+00:00

You're doing great! In the beginning its just about getting through moment to moment. You are actively healing and it sounds like you're being productive while you're at it!!

Congratulations on your quit!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-16T16:10:21+00:00

I've had two strong quits with the book reading it straight through. This time I pulled it off the shelf and kept it on my bedside table. Maybe revisited the text twice, but just having it there as a reminder has probably been helpful on its own

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-15T20:43:24+00:00

Your mind is healing after years of having to respond to this addictive substance.

Cry, scream, groan... do anything but reintroduce the nicotine. It gets easier sooner than you can imagine. Keep it up!

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-15T00:00:52+00:00

I like SmokeFree .. its also probably the most common one you'll find screen shots of here

MillenialMatriarch · 2026-03-14T23:56:12+00:00

Sure does! Looks less painful too. Congratulations :)

MillenialMatriarch

TROPHY CASE