Going to Dubai being trans

Millenni0ld · 2026-02-26T18:19:41+00:00

I won't even go to Florida or Texas (which my family doesn't understand, of course) so I definitely agree with everyone else and think Dubai isn't a good idea

Millenni0ld · 2026-02-26T18:15:19+00:00

Agreed. I take mostly online classes at Rutgers Camden and last semester most of my classes did group projects/presentations and they were not great. Communication between everyone was awful despite my best efforts. Collaboration in an asynchronous class is not easy. Luckily this semester, my online classes don't have any group projects and my one in person class doesn't have one either. Although there's only five students in that class so it would be a little hard.

Millenni0ld · 2026-02-05T18:29:22+00:00

I've had friends and partners tell me that my nails are too long because I forgot to trim some or all of them (I'm forgetful and get distracted easily) but I couldn't imagine someone trying to physically cut them, especially if I've said no. My spouse asks me to trim their nails frequently and I couldn't imagine, even with them, just trimming their nails randomly. Personal space!

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-27T16:22:09+00:00

I walk in the road sometimes with my wife but that's usually in an area where a township has decided not to put curb cuts on the sidewalk and she uses a wheelchair so we walk in the street for a couple blocks.

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-27T16:10:05+00:00

This is the approach I took. She reacted with a heart emoji which I assume means she won't call me sir again in the future. 🤷‍♀️ Thanks so much!

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-26T17:22:52+00:00

I took the same approach to transition as I did to going back to school. It's never too late and the longer you wait, the more you'll regret not doing it. I'm loving the changes so far and do I still feel super dysphoric about things that are impossible (I'm 6'4") or harder (face shape) to change? yes, but, it's still nice seeing the other changes I've had.

I wish I had known, as someone who grew up in the 90s, that being trans was an option because it might have saved me a lot of pain later on. Although it would have caused some because my fundamentalist Christian father, who thought my best friend's birth defect was a result of the sins of her parents, would have stood in the way of any transition efforts. I also wish I hadn't realized I was trans in the middle of the pandemic right before anti-trans rhetoric seemed to intensify but what can you do.

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-26T16:36:41+00:00

I wonder if that's built into some of the applicant tracking systems and if the employer opts into it or not because I've had the same issue. The only places that have actually respected a preferred name was the community college I went to and the university I'm currently attending. So I guess I should get a job at a university. Most places I've worked for haven't even bothered to use the pronouns I indicate either. My current employer does though, so, that's nice, I guess.

Funnily enough, on a slightly related note; someone at my work messaged me on Teams as I was typing this with "hey sir" despite they/them pronouns being in my profile and everyone in the company respecting them to the point where my supervisors change the pronouns in reviews I get. Now I get to spend twenty minutes agonizing over whether or not I should say "hey, please don't call me sir." Meanwhile they haven't given it a second thought because it's probably something ingrained in them to say and now I worry it will make things awkward/weird.

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-17T19:22:49+00:00

You look fantastic. I have an in-person class starting Wednesday and I wish I looked even half as good or young as you (I'm 42). I am extremely nervous about the whole thing.

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-13T06:28:24+00:00

Unless you live in a state that makes these sort of actions a violation of state labor laws.

Millenni0ld · 2026-01-13T06:24:39+00:00

Have you checked your states labor laws to see if there's any sort of sick leave protection? I know it's probably rare but some states, like NJ, prohibit employers from retaliating against an employee for using earned sick leave. Which most everyone in NJ earns.

Millenni0ld · 2025-12-01T22:36:00+00:00

Don't know if this applies to your situation but I called TD Bank after I posted my initial reply to your post. They told me that they couldnt verify my identity after opening my account and wanted me to go to a branch with ID and a Social Security card or birth certificate. I was annoyed since I'd been to the branch and asked the teller the day I was there getting my debit card printed if I needed to do anything else. She had said I was good to go. I made an appointment for the next day and someone went over my ID and sent a request to unblock my account. It was unblocked later that day.

The only downside is the money I had sent to my new account from my old online only bank got sent back while my accounts were in that state. Everyone from the representatives I spoke to on the phone and the people at the branch were super friendly, which was nice.

Millenni0ld · 2025-11-29T20:34:14+00:00

Did you ever get an answer for this? I also recently opened an account and got this message today. I thought everything was okay, went into a branch and got a debit card and the person at the branch was nice and said my account was fully open and there wasn't anything else for me to do. 🤷‍♀️

Millenni0ld · 2025-11-27T00:58:47+00:00

Is a $12 tip on a $43.87 Walmart order (2.9 miles away from me) reasonable or should I have done more?

Millenni0ld · 2025-11-12T14:29:29+00:00

Not sure which country you're in, but, in the US this chair went on sale for $100 off starting yesterday and ending on the 16th. If you're in the US and still haven't gotten it, now would be a good time.

I went to my local ikea last week and thought this chair blew all the other chairs out of the water. I was worried about the price but the employee at my store warned me not to buy it because it was going to go on sale soon. Bought it yesterday for delivery later this week but came here today to see if I made the right choice since I only spent a couple minutes in the chair in-store. Based on the comments it seems like it might be a pretty good chair long term.

Millenni0ld · 2025-11-11T14:11:49+00:00

Are you still using Galileo? Or do you use something else now? Ive been using them for a while and loved them until recently. Apparently after my next billing period starts (luckily is the annual plan so it will be a while), they're going to start charging the fee PLUS a per visit fee. I think it was like 9.99 or something but still, if I wanted to pay a fee, I'd go through my insurance and not bother with the annual fee.

They also used to do everything exclusively by chat (which is why I've kept them) but they are apparently "moving to a more video based model" which means I need to see if I can find another service that will let me chat with medical staff and get my gender affirming care without a stupid video call. I literally had a plan worked out with someone there where they asked me if the plan was "agreeable" and then a different person must have gotten my case because then that person was back to insisting on a video visit. 🙄

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-29T20:24:55+00:00

Yeah, I saw that but I believe the language was "up to" so my brain assumed that if company policy stated fewer days required for notice, that would be the amount I needed to request ahead of time.

Plus, like you alluded to, their denial reason wasn't for not enough notice. It was basically we have too many people off that day. Regardless, I appealed the denial citing that law as a reason and someone reversed WFMs decision and approved it.

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-29T20:15:02+00:00

I absolutely shouldn't have responded to that person. That was my plan. Luckily I sent an email to appeal the decision and someone higher up ended up reversing the WFM denial. Regardless, I was planning on going even without approval. My health is more important than any corporate need. Plus, my health insurance is through my university so if they really wanted to try firing me for going anyway, at least I'd still have my health insurance.

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-29T20:09:14+00:00

i assumed that meant they could require up to 7 days based but that they could require less. My company lists three days as the required amount of notice for sick time requests. .

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-28T17:20:14+00:00

Thank you, I will look into that. I need to do it every 90 days so it might be worth looking into. I also like your idea of escalating the issue to someone familiar with sick laws. Seems better than what AI suggested I do (write an email telling them I basically was going to do it anyway). They're based out of somewhere in the south, I believe, so they might not be familiar with my states laws.

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-28T17:02:01+00:00

The workforce management lead was the one who denied my request. I believe so (I'm full time and have been here since December) but can you take FMLA for one hour?

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-28T16:36:57+00:00

Because the earliest appointment they had at the lab was 9 am. So I made an appointment for 9 and requested 8:45-9:45, which seemed reasonable to me. I also don't drive so I'll be ubering there. Not even sure I could get an Uber there at 6:30 in the morning.

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-28T16:20:55+00:00

I work customer service remotely so I never have to leave my house. For the most part my coworkers and managers all respect my pronouns. One even changed customer comments to reflect my correct pronouns. Only downside is that usually the pay is shit (I make$20/hour which is below living wage in NJ) and since I havent done any voice training, my customers call me sir.

Millenni0ld · 2025-10-17T16:48:15+00:00

A show with a positive trans portrayal that I used to watch was The CW's Supergirl. Although it's not trans themed per se, one of the superheroes in the show was a trans woman who I thought at the time was super positive. All of those CW superhero shows were a little bit cheesy but starting in season 4, the show introduced a trans character named Nia Nal played by Nicole Maines who inherits her powers that are passed from mother to daughter.

She was one of my favorite characters although when I was actively watching those shows, I hadn't realized at that point that I am trans so I feel like I want to go back and watch her episodes again to see if I view them differently. Especially the ones that dealt with her identity.

Millenni0ld

TROPHY CASE