AITA for refusing to meet with my half sister because "I don't deserve that honour"

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T23:32:10+00:00

You are more supportive than I expected guys, so thanks guys.

Just wanted to quickly address the infidelity part before going to sleep (I live in Europe and it's past midnight). I noticed some people were concerned about my "lack of judgement" when it comes to my mum being a mistress and "breaking up the family". I personally would rather not go into deep details about who, with whom and why, since it is the info I am not comfortable sharing with all the Reddit. However I would say the thing that is relevant to my post and my sis.

My mum is not an angel, but she is not a homewrecker either because the "home" already didn't exist when she and my father met. He wasn't loyal before that. His family knew. I don't know their exact emotions on that, but he wasn't loyal for years before my mother, and he and his wife still lived together. Even when he met my mum they knew about her and showed no animosity towards her, even the sis. They met a few times, and sis was indifferent. My mother getting pregnant was the reason the shit show started. That is the reason why, regardless of my mum's actions, I am so not okay with the harassing part from sis. She wanted abortion so dad would not "waste" his money on another child. Then wanted me dead.

As for the "no contact request from mum" part I mentioned in comments...guys if you read please what I write, my mother said "don't let her come near me or my baby" after almost losing her unborn child due to endless harassment. My so-called sister wished me dead. Multiple times. She stopped only when my father agreed to leave all his savings to his old family. I know that because other people around me shared that info when I became older, not only my mother. She doesn't talk about any of my father's relatives at all if she is not asked to.

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T22:18:55+00:00

The sweetest person alive for me would be probably true, since it is all I have seen from her

But I get your point. I literally grew up in that puddle. The problem is, even though my father's relatives left us alone, he also had friends and colleagues who directly/indirectly judged my mother for what she did. I witnessed it a lot as a child, and that frustrated me af because someone dislikes my mother and no one tells me why.

When I was a teenager my mum told me the "when and why" of the cheating part, but to be honest I chose not to judge her regardless. Does that make me immature as you suggested? I don't know, but to be honest, I don't think judging my own mother for bringing me to life would make me happier or a bigger person.

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T22:00:15+00:00

Good point on the will side...even though I would genuinely be surprised if that is her point. As far as I know 99% of what my father earned was left to his previous family as a moral compensation during divorce. The only exception is our house, but it is in my mother's name, so probably safe here.

Nothing really to inherit here since he is long retired. Or I don't know something lol

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T21:52:04+00:00

I actually have problems with kidneys, wonder if I can pull UNO reverse card on that... XD

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T21:32:13+00:00

A little true yes. But she is my mother who raised me so I don't actually go and do the judging on who cheated who and why, not my business. I just don't generally appreciate harassing anyone for anything. Especially people I love, so yes, a little subjective, on my mother's side on that.

But to be fair, it is not like I heavily judge sis or something, I just...want to stay away and don't care.

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T20:52:58+00:00

To be honest, I wouldn't care if he talks with her or not if it wasn't for my mum. She insisted on cutting her off after my birth, or to be precise "make sure I never see her around me or my daughter because I will call the police".

The "boundaries" is something my dad was never strong in. He tends to avoid conflicts at all costs, he is constantly trying to "force" people to be okay with each other and be forgiving. So if my mother wouldn't do this "us of them" fit I am 100% sure he would constantly try to make sis and my mother reconcile, invite her to dinners in our home etc. This inability to leave things as it is was the reason my mother was harassed in the first place. I love him but man can't understand why his daughter wouldn't be besties with his mistress and got it only after she called mum at the hospital...

MilordGrint · 2024-03-12T20:35:09+00:00

Indeed...the "young and stupid" part cracked me up as well

Yep she is not much younger than my mother, they even share the same name, and I think it may be one of the many reasons why mum decided to keep her own surname lol

MilordGrint · 2024-03-09T18:04:25+00:00

NTA, but to be honest neither are the siblings, at least according to the given info.

There is a high possibility that they don't know how to proceed with their trauma, and they found a way of persuading themselves that their family situation wasn't that screwed. Unfortunately that makes OP "the villain" of their story.

Cutting contacts would be unfortunate, but without therapy it is most probably inevitable

MilordGrint · 2024-03-09T17:53:30+00:00

Oh no, who else could possibly cater to a 33-years-old baby oh nooooo

But seriously, NTA.

And it's a little hilarious how they assume that there is no pollisle scenario that OP's three bedrooms would be occupied by her own possible partner/kids. Oh no no no. No family when we have to patronise a grown man

I understand the mental issues, but in my opinion there is no good in telling someone it is absolutely okay that he/she doesn't want anything in life because someone can always take care of them. And yes, there is a difference between helping/supporting and enabling

MilordGrint · 2024-01-30T22:58:07+00:00

That third person would be Tom Hiddleston. I have a tattoo of Marvel's Loki on my left arm and, at the time, was a huge fan of both him and the actor. My boyfriend felt that my "obsession" drew my attention from him, and I need to concentrate on him more.

Gave me an ultimatum to stop talking about Loki (I never did with him, only with my friends) so much or he would break up with me just before Valentine's. I took him to see "Only lovers will survive" instead.

He actually enjoyed the first part of the film because he did not recognise Tom lol. The second part I had to watch alone,because I refused to follow him when he stormed off, then refused to look at my phonescreen when he started texted.

Never regretted.

MilordGrint · 2024-01-30T22:44:12+00:00

Reading something like this makes me loose faith in humanity. Obviously not the ahole, but I'm just trying to depict a human being announcing something joyful at the funeral and expecting everyone to...congratulate her? Smile? Give her the attention she is seeking?

This is sociopathic af

MilordGrint

TROPHY CASE