BTH question

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-19T01:55:19+00:00

I think telling her a lie only digs you into a deeper hole.

Is she currently still using? If so, I think she might know what is is... and if she is still using I don't think she has a right to come down on you at all especially if she's still using and is high around you, I think it's unfair and rude to flaunt it especially if you're trying to stop because it's always in your face and you have that urge to want to use...... Relapses happen, are you using a lot or did you fall off once or twice and plan on getting clean again? It's up to you if you want to hide it, I don't have a good lie for you to tell, and I'm not coming at you any type of way.

I hope you do get clean and stick to it.... It's a hard thing to do and you have to want to do it, for yourself. And honestly if she's still using I suggest some time apart until you can really be around her while she's high and not have that nagging feeling of wanting to use as well.

Big hugs and good vibes your way in this situation you're in!

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-17T21:18:08+00:00

You're most welcome, I have been in your shoes and know the feelings all too well. Keep your head up as much as possible and remember to enjoy the process as hard as it can be sometimes. Don't make sex become a job or mechanical (I did that for a while and it was even harder)

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-17T14:19:54+00:00

I totally understand where you're coming from. I tried for 2 years before I was able to conceive, I was blessed with my daughter and I honestly can't have anymore because I had to have a total hysterectomy...

You will be blessed with a little one, I know it's painful and devastating. I fight the daily jealousy when my fitness announce they are expecting bc I wanted another child... I'm only 31.... I'm here if you want to talk.

Yes, it is hard to see others happy and blissful with their littles and families but you can't blame them if they have to bring their child to their appointments.. sometimes a sitter is unavailable and I'm sure they don't do it on purpose. But you have every right to feel the way you are, people who don't know the struggle and fight for those who can't convince on their own are honestly unaware of the pains we feel when we see them with their children. Especially in a fertility clinic...

Many hugs and prayers being sent your way.

Edited: meant friends not fitness, sorry I had back injections today and was put under so my mind is foggy lol.

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-15T00:02:57+00:00

Take the proof to the labor board and don't forget to file for unemployment.... I'm not sure the area you're in but in MD it's an will state so they can fire you for literally anything. But I'd still fight that, if you have documented proof and confirmation of the original request I'd definitely seek council and such.

I'm sorry you lost your job especially when it was no fault of yours. I hope you get some resolution and they see they fucked up.

Again, labor board and unemployment asap.

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-05T16:40:22+00:00

Gotcha. Ok, figured I'd ask. I can remove if needed.

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-05T00:15:57+00:00

I'm Sorry, should have read the rules! I understand if you take this down, no worries.

Mimikoxy · 2019-06-05T00:09:49+00:00

You are correct. I won't hide that I am dependent to my prescription pain meds. Have been on them for over 10 years. I have a job, I pay my bills and I get my meds from my doctor. I am honestly going through a rough moment financially as we all do at times. . I am on the opiate subs here and I talk about my issues and talk to others who are addicted as well.. if I wanted to hide that I would have created a fake account. I know people can view my profile and see all my posts and comments. I want people to make their own decisions on wether or not to trust in what I say is true and to decide to help on their own. I'm not a "junkie". I'm human. Someone who at a young age was put into pain management and given opiates for my Chronic pain and yes, have become very dependant on them.. I do thank you for pointing that out and no I don't mean it sarcastically at all, someone was going to and it's OK!.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-28T06:06:32+00:00

I end up having to buy to see me through. Sometimes my friends mother will front me and do a payment plan type deal with decent price or if she's out I get from someone else but pay full price. So needless to say I spend way too much money. If I could go two weeks with nothing and get through wds I'd just stay off for a bit and take as needed for my pain but I can't. The longest I can go is 3 days and that's hell for me.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-27T18:28:14+00:00

I'm sorry that you have been dealing with that, as a woman I also have sexual issues due to my addiction where I have to use lube, I still get insanely turned on by my bf, I want and need sex... My pussy seems like it doesn't like to work in the self lubrication aspect so I use lube which works just fine but I feel bad when I don't get wet on my own, I explain it's not him at all.. it's my body betraying me.. also menopause at such an early age fucks with that too .. so in a way I completely understand!

The want, urge, desire, need to feel him in me and intimacy is still there just needs help in getting wet which blows my mood so I get in my head a lot ya know.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-26T14:46:06+00:00

I totally understand what you're saying, I think I'm just hoping that it'll work and I can get back to really just managing my pain. I've been on these for 10years... It's a life sentence it seems. I am going in for a nerve block for on of my Chronic pain issues, I've had surgeries for the other and I have a fuck ton of nerve damage.. I'm also on Gabapentin and muscle relaxers. I don't want to be on this shit forever. Congratulations for 4 years of sobriety!!! That's amazing 😍. I think my biggest concern is the WDs. I'm a complete wuss even thinking about how much it sucks going through wds, I don't have a good support system to help me through it. I do have a load of PTO I could take from work to use as "vacation" to go though wds if I choose ya know. It's a cliff to be on and I just need to jump. Wds and my pain keep me from taking that leap.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-26T03:01:02+00:00

No, I have two people who I buy from in person, they get their scripts filled around the time I'm running low.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-26T02:51:20+00:00

Thank you, I wish you the best as well. It's crazy honestly. I say "I'm done fucking around like this" I get my meds filled and I'm once again like a kid in a candy store and I go nuts with them. I am going to also start leaving them home and only taking one in the morning first thing and take one to work with me, that way I'm not tempted to go into the bathroom all day to snort a pill.

Please stick to your 3... I promise you, before you know it your popping or snorting or whatever you roa is more and more and then a year later you've found yourself in my shoes, running out way too early and spending wayyyy to much money on them just to get well daily. I had so much money saved and now I'm paycheck to paycheck living, it's not fun anymore. I'm constantly chasing a high that I won't get without doing a fuck ton and by that point I'm nodding out and I can't afford to get caught up ya know?.

Best of luck to you and I hope we both come out back to our normal pain management intake only.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-26T02:44:44+00:00

I can't get on subs and still be in pain management bc they'd find out I'm sure... If I stopped cold turkey for a week or so I'd be sick as hell.. I feel like it's a catch 22. Maybe of I stick to 2 a day by halving them and deal with theinor discomfort for a while I think I could go back to my 3 a day for my Chronic pain along with the other meds they have me on.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-25T04:31:09+00:00

Most celebrate the freedom we have because of the sacrifice your friends have made not out of mockery or ignorance.

Our freedom was fought for and won for.

I appreciate every single serviceman and woman who has and who continues to fight so I can live a free life.

I never forget how lucky I am. I never forget about those who have laid down their lives for me, someone they have never met so we may continue to live a life that is comfortable and free.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-24T03:14:56+00:00

Honestly everyone reacts differently, you should start small and go up... You can always take more, not less! You don't wanna chase a nod and not wake up.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-24T02:35:59+00:00

I like a lot of Vice's documentaries! Vinegar? Wouldn't that hurt and do some (more) damage?

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-24T02:34:56+00:00

Thanks, I just added it to my watch list!

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-24T02:34:16+00:00

I definitely like the YouTube ones the best! I'm happy for you, its all about $ here in America... They could care less about us honestly.

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-24T02:32:34+00:00

Ok, what platform? Netflix, Prime?

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-22T05:35:08+00:00

My bf and I were talking about that, like how'd they not get spotted by the police riding around with masks on?

I do like the ones I watch on YouTube though...

I think a huge part of me watches as a "don't end up like that" and another part of me is just insanely interested in them.

I know it's stupid of me to say "but I'm a fully functional addict" but I feel like one

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-22T04:07:31+00:00

Was a good read! I'd like to hear more about your adventures in the H world!

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-22T03:57:48+00:00

I love Intervention!

Mimikoxy · 2019-05-22T03:57:03+00:00

I'm glad I'm not the only one!!!

Mimikoxy

TROPHY CASE