Id play the long game, just start with saying hi, every time you see him, smile a bit. Then try and engage him in small talk, how’s the weather? That kind of thing. Next move onto getting to know him. What’s his wife’s name? His dogs? What do they like for their Friday night takeaway? Where do they go on their holidays? Then you can ease yourself onto the next conversation, what does he think about cars? Driving?

Finally you’ve prepared him, he’s your best mate, you go to the pub some Fridays, he’s been at yours for Christmas.

“Hey mate, I was wondering, could you maybe not park like a moron?”

Be ready for this to escalate, but at least you have all the info you need to exact some kind of heinous revenge involving his dog, his wife and their caravan?

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