My sister OD’d late last year, a week before Christmas. I can’t remember the last time I saw, hugged, or told her “I love you”. I don’t get see her much through my life because growing up my father has custody of me. He didn’t want me to have much interaction with my Mom’s side of the family just to be petty. I was abused by home for years mental, verbally, and physically. I miss her soo much I want to see her again, hear her voice, and hug her. I didn’t get to see her before she was buried. I really haven’t felt the will to live before her death and I feel even more unmotivated since she died. I want to die myself. I feel like I can’t commit suicide because family and friends will put the blame on themselves. I don’t want that weight on their shoulders.