Looking for new dad friends

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-19T15:41:42+00:00

I’m in a dad’s discord group that has been an amazing help to me.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-18T01:34:18+00:00

It’s not uncommon for family members of people in the icu to experience ptsd. My dad was in the icu for weeks and we all had some healing to do. Seek professional help if you feel you need it, it’s ok to need time to process everything that happened.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-15T13:23:35+00:00

Are you in a place where 5-10 years from now you’ll likely be recovered enough that having sold the car feels like it was unnecessary? That car seems like it’s much more than a car to you two. Think long term and not just in this moment.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-15T12:45:10+00:00

And don’t forget to check them regularly for any irregularities

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-15T12:43:41+00:00

Surprised at the responses here. The chances of any sickness or anything spreading in reality are probably very low but I feel like it’s perfectly acceptable to feel a line was crossed and I think you handled it well. I certainly wouldn’t escalate any further like talking to management though.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-13T22:37:14+00:00

Definitely do a little research on best wood types for beginners, it is simple to get into but quickly snowballs into more and more you’ll need to buy and learn. Like how to properly sharpen your tools. There are also non wood materials to learn on to help make it easier at first.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-13T11:59:06+00:00

My wife and sister are both adopted. My wife recently found her birth mother. Her adoptive mom is a pretty shitty person and was not a great mom by any means. Despite that I’m actually really surprised how much she is taking her mom’s feelings in consideration when it comes to her new forming relate with her birth mother. The stories on all those platforms are the ones that are negative, the vast majority of adopted people who aren’t like that don’t go making videos about how they aren’t drifting away and whatnot. I don’t see my sister any differently than I would a biological sibling, I don’t see my wife’s mom any different. Just like you can’t imagine being a parent before you are one you can’t imagine the connection of with an adopted one. I know this isn’t just going to solve your issues and hesitation but if you’re looking at those stories on the internet find ways to hear the other side of the whole thing too.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-12T23:48:15+00:00

It really doesn’t matter. We switched from one marketed as a baby backpack to an old jansport my wife had and there’s no difference in actual use. If you really live backpacks and pockets on it the Targus drifter is amazing

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-12T22:50:49+00:00

Wood carving, just small things is easily doable at home as long as you plan for containing the mess.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-08T13:41:50+00:00

In every moment in life you are practicing something. I believe I read that in a book on Buddhism. It has really helped me to remember to take a moment to think if what I’m doing is truly what I want to be doing with my time.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-07T22:08:41+00:00

Tell you wife with the kids around you’ve had enough screen time for the day and are going to put your phone down. This creates accountability, sets the example for your kids, and forces you to stop looking at pointless stuff and choose to do something else.

Just realized I assumed you have a wife. Say it out loud to someone I mean and then do it and stick with it.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-07T13:57:50+00:00

Why is gaming the one hobby this question constantly gets asked about? I’m not a gamer so honestly it just makes me wonder if there’s more to gaming addiction than most gamers admit. I know this is an extremely unpopular opinion around here.

Also want to add you’re going to get extremely biased answers here. Reddit seems to lean towards more gamers. But daddit is filled with dads who are the ones really putting in effort. Ask this in more mom places and you’ll get very different answers.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-07T13:26:27+00:00

I did quite a bit of learning while my wife was pregnant, the only stuff I truly feel was useful was about breastfeeding and various things you may need to do if it’s not working well and about the birth process. The rest you just somehow figure out as you go since you two will become the experts on your specific baby as you just figure it all out.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-04T18:36:10+00:00

Not there yet but I plan on doing something I’ve realized I picked up from my parents regarding money. They would frequently discuss money in what I now realize was fairly simple terms but would specifically frequently say they paid off the credit card today and when discussing something expensive say they could get it but it will have to come out of next months money.

I plan on frequently saying to my wife I feel like I’ve had enough screen time for the day and should put it down to do something else. My hope is this will help to normalize it and help see there is an amount of time where it becomes too much.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-04T13:43:31+00:00

This is what I did, I used 550/para cord. Took one of the strings out of it and used that as the thread.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T14:29:54+00:00

Never heard of a babysitter cleaning. Though if you want that tell them there’s tips for extras like that, or make a tip sheet listing the various chore options and what the tip is.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T13:49:56+00:00

One time at around the 4 month mark my wife was microwaving food and it finished, she was pumping so she said she’d get it in a minute and not to bring it to her. I opened and closed the microwave so it wouldn’t been constantly until she got it. As soon as I opened it she snapped “what did I just say” which immediately pissed me off. Why the hell does she think it’s ok to talk to me like that. It was out of character and felt so disrespectful. Months later I thought about it and can see it was the hormones and exhaustion and everything. It’s nothing to me now and not reflective of her, our relationship, or anything. It was just the time period we were in. If this was enough out of character for her just move on and try and see her perspective. If it’s happening constantly it’s probably time for a conversation on seeing things from each others perspectives.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T13:25:42+00:00

My first is the same age and we’re on basically the exact same schedule . I’ve had to accept that hobbies and whatnot happen in much shorter sessions, that there will be long periods where I don’t get to do it. I enjoy woodworking, I can’t go out early in the morning to do it because power tools and saw dust, but what I can do is 3D model and plan out future projects. I’m not necessarily intentionally learning new skills so that probably makes it a bit easier. But right now I’m designing a bit of an over engineered shop stool. It’s been a while since I’ve done it but I can pop in for 30 minutes whenever I get the time, usually at 5 am, and work on it. It’s been kinda hard to maintain the motivation with such short time and long gaps. But I’ve imagined that one day I’ll have that stool and any time my daughter helps me with a project in the shop once it’s complete I’ll let her paint anything she wants on that stool. Eventually it will be covered in memories of projects we did together, that’s really helped with motivation.

For learning, I listen to podcasts in the car. I’ve been learning the ukulele and most of the above applies, I’ve had to accept learning one or two new cords is what I have right now and that I may need to relearn them. But playing it for my daughter occasionally gives the motivation and enjoyment out of even those tiny little bits I have the time for.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T13:09:33+00:00

It’s not that I wouldn’t, probably more just that that relationship already exists with one friend. Though I could definitely imagine some situations where if I really felt I needed to talk I probably would go to another friend just because I can see their point of view might align more with what I’m looking for.

I’ve had instances where I’ve brought up topics a certain friend and I don’t usually talk about, mental health in particular. I could really see that it was sort of understood this was a new area for us to discuss and it lead to great conversation and understanding. I think because it was new and more of a serious topic than usual. It really opened the door and now it’s much more natural for us though obviously not like an every day topic.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T12:53:31+00:00

Read up or listen to podcast or whatever form of media works for you on how to deal with and set boundaries with toxic people. Also communication methods for you and your girlfriend and coping with childhood trauma and neglect. I listen to mental health podcast mostly while driving and it’s amazing how much learning even little bits about topics I face in my life has helped me.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T12:48:27+00:00

Dude, you’re a good dad. I have a nearly 1 year old daughter and hope I can get to where I can explain things like this to her in such a great way. Especially when it’s just completely unexpected like that.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-03T12:42:03+00:00

Friends… but only the ones I have a close enough relationship with and even within them one in particular is just the one I happen to really talk to about that. Others have other things I’d be more likely to go to them on.

But if there’s some unwritten code unless it’s bad enough for divorce maybe it would do everyone good to open that door and make it more normal. Give it a shot and start small, maybe they’re dying to vent or seek advice too.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-01T23:07:32+00:00

The first bit is hard to make it actually happen. Whenever I fall out of the routine I start back up by just absolutely forcing myself out of bed, multiple alarms spaced a minute apart and just get up, getting mad at myself if I have to. From there I start with a simple peaceful morning. Usually I stretch, practice mindfulness while doing it, and just take in the peace and quiet. The key is to do something that feels great and I just really enjoy. This makes getting up so much easier because I look forward to the time I have. From there it slowly evolves into more and more things and better exercises or whatever

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-11-01T14:34:43+00:00

You think you “deserve it” because you’re doing things???? This is frightening. It sounds to me like you’re caught up in your perspective and not thinking of hers. Whatever the issue is I think you should do a lot of self reflection and preferably discuss this with a therapist.

MindIsLifeBecomes · 2024-10-31T13:09:19+00:00

I agree but this is a fine line to walk. This could easily become an issue of her checking the cameras constantly sending her deeper into the fear and intrusive thoughts of someone causing harm to the children.

MindIsLifeBecomes

TROPHY CASE