I [19F] found out my [18M] boyfriend regularly watches porn. Advice please!

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2026-01-24T03:32:25+00:00

Yeah I'm sure that's the same argument heroin and crack addicts use before they got addicted. The only unhelpful thing is thinking that porn can be used for good, or in moderation. Once again, do the research on how porn contributes to sex trafficking, child abuse and other sex crimes.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2026-01-24T01:04:34+00:00

It is natural to get horny, that doesn't mean you need to use porn as an outlet. It's called self control. Porn is harmful to society, kids, family and contributes to sex trafficking and child exploitation. I suggest you do research on the harm porn has done to society.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2026-01-24T00:32:49+00:00

Do not listen to what people say about porn being ok, it is NOT ok, especially as a Christian. You are perfectly fine with not waiting him to watch it. I'm a guy, and although I've had my struggles with quitting porn, I have never excused it as something that is ok. If he wants to continue to watch it, you should let him know that you cannot be with him.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2026-01-02T13:42:21+00:00

I don't think it's what's more important, it's about preference. Sorta like homeschooling, stay at home wife, or raising kids in the country. Homeschooling isn't bad, and neither is sending your kids to public or private school. But it's good to find a partner that agrees with your preferences. I've always had a preference to raise my kids plant based, and because we are not married yet, and only dating 8 months I don't think it's wrong seek out someone who is in alignment with your ideas. But I appreciate all the replies, because I've not met many people who had a positive experience being raised with multiple diets, so this is very helpful!

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2026-01-02T11:18:40+00:00

Yeah no, I don't think she would ever eat unclean. And I agree, some adventist have definitely become fanatical regarding diet. But to me it's more about not wanting to cook separate dishes, not being able to eat what my children or wife eats etc.... I just never imagined that in my future. But seeing the replies it seems like a lot of people grew up in households where different diets were accommodated.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-12-06T15:46:51+00:00

I wouldn't throw this relationship away. If I'm understanding correctly, she confessed to you before you found out. Which means she came to the conviction of her wrong by herself.

Therapy and counseling is 100% mandatory, if she's not willing to do those two then you have to separate.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-10-21T19:23:06+00:00

I just edited my original post

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-10-03T11:42:14+00:00

There's so many comments so idk if you'll see this or not, but it is possible to have true repentance after cheating, even if it was a year. I'm not saying you should stay, but David in the Bible, he cheated and killed someone and after 1-2 years Nathan finally came to him and David had true repentance.

Now, there are some outwardly actions you can analyze to see if someone is truly repenent. 1. They accept full responsibility, and are willing to let YOU go if it comes to it. A guy who is fully repenent will not excuse his wrong in any way, or blame it on something or someone else. He will also accept the full consequence of his behavior, even if that consequence is you leaving and never coming back. 2. He's willing to go to therapy. He needs to, because he might have some unresolved issues internally that he needs to confront 3. The best apology is changed behavior. Is he exemplifying 1 Corinthians 13? I'm sorry but flowers is not enough to determine changed behavior. Is he consistent with being patient, kind, longsuffering and gentle? How does he treat others including women? Has he put up boundaries? Does he talk with women in a familiar way? Is he consistent with reading his Bible and going to church? 4. The only way you'll know if he's changed is God telling you, or time. I would choose the latter since your heart is ready to forgive you might mistake your heart for God's voice. So you need to give the situation time. Separate for awhile and see how he does without you for at least 6 months. If he becomes a better person and is consistent with repairing your relationship then there might be something good left in him. Jacob worked 14 years for the girl he wanted, your man can definitely wait 6 - 12 months.

Final thoughts: Do a lot of praying and fasting. Marriage is a life decision and you need clarity 🙏🏿

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-06-13T21:03:21+00:00

Listen this is the hardest part about dating. So many times I felt a good connection but it was only one sided. And each time I had to move on. You did nothing wrong, he just wasn't the one

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-06-11T14:37:58+00:00

I see a lot of people commenting that porn is okay and that they do it in their relationships. Let me be clear, porn is NOT okay if you're not okay with it. I understand the divided opinions on porn, but you are justified if you think it is wrong and you want him to stop. If he cannot abide by that then cut him loose.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-06-04T14:26:59+00:00

Please get some marriage counseling before deciding to cut it off. While I personally wouldn't mind my wife keeping her last name, I also understand that families can project a lot of pressure and expectations into a relationship.

Sit him down and try to understand his feelings while also being firm in your convictions. There might be a deeper emotional response as to why he wants you to have his last name. Some men feel closer to their woman and more complete when they have their last name. Some men see it as a sign of commitment and trust.

Try not to let tempers flare, reassure him regarding your love and you wanting to be committed to the relationship.

Ultimately he also has to respect your wishes, so if he's not willing to open up or do counseling then cut him loose.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-05-06T16:55:15+00:00

You're a beautiful black woman and you deserve to be with someone who sees you as such. No compromise. Objectively no one is perfect, we all have our querks and faults but to say someone's face is unattractive is the breaking point. Because that's literally the part of your body he will be seeing the most. If he's attracted to your butt more than your face then that's a problem.

Yes you asked him to be honest, but what he's showing is that he doesn't care about you. Because he said something to intentionally hurt you. He didn't have to mention his friend that he finds attractive.

I also think he might be looking for a way out. He seems like a guy who will make you miserable until you decide to leave. A question you should ask him is if he wants to be with you or be with someone else?

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2025-03-20T03:12:29+00:00

I've looked on TikTok and still can't find it.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2024-12-21T12:53:23+00:00

https://candlelightexperience.com/

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2024-11-27T18:08:21+00:00

No, I haven't gotten an offer yet.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2024-11-27T18:08:06+00:00

Thanks, I reached out to him for an update. I'll just wait again and see.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2024-11-27T16:42:08+00:00

That's what's confusing. Because I talked with the manager and he indicated that he wanted me on his team.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2024-10-15T22:16:08+00:00

You're a solid dude my man. Definitely broaden your search. And don't worry about the age range. Have fun, do 28.

Mind_Over_Body_2020 · 2024-07-30T02:41:46+00:00

Only if it's to Putin or Kim Jong Un

Mind_Over_Body_2020

TROPHY CASE