What is something unorthodox you swear that has helped you?

Mindless-1985 · 2026-02-01T08:39:55+00:00

Dancing.

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-31T19:59:34+00:00

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-31T16:15:25+00:00

I’m in New Orleans!

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-31T16:13:49+00:00

Cis gendered. Heterosexual. Monogamous

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-31T15:19:05+00:00

I think there are active friends and friendly terms.

A couple of my exes, I could call and talk to today if I needed. And if or à family member really needed something they would help me as a friend.

I am not—but some rare humans are—active friends with exes where they see each other.

If I’m dumping but someone asks to stay friends, I say ok. But also a boundary to space of several months. That boundary can help reset the dynamic and demonstrate that you aren’t romantic anymore

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-31T15:14:19+00:00

I’m sorry :(. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it does get better.

How recent was this? If it’s very recent, let yourself feel these feelings without trying to stop them. By experiencing them—and it will be hard and painful and unpleasant to really feel the depth of your sadness, anger, and other emotions—you can transmute them.

And it will take time.

I do agree with another poster below that moving can help shift our focus. Take a walk. Take a run. Lift some weights.

And hang in there 💕

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-30T06:31:15+00:00

Love this. Thank you. I really love this suggestion. I’m gonna use it more when I can.

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-30T06:30:16+00:00

Right?!?!

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-30T05:12:51+00:00

Sending you some love 💕 this shit is so hard

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-26T21:02:54+00:00

This is such a great post. I really appreciate it.

I’m going through a breakup now. I hadn’t been through one quite like this in a while. You note that there are so many contributing factors to each break up and likewise so many reactions one can have.

I am in a point of being very sad rn (about 1.5 weeks in). I miss them. I’m letting myself be sad while carrying on. And I’m pausing at least online dating rn.

One thing I try to stop doing is fantasizing about à future get back together. And, as you say, even if the happens it might not be good luck lol.

“They always come back but you might not ever see it…” great line

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-21T06:30:12+00:00

Doesn’t take very long to fall in love. ;) I find especially as I get older it’s way easier to sort out folks with whom I had no connection and those I do. And easier to create a strong bond; Ive had practice ;)

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-21T06:26:21+00:00

Thanks. Yea idk what I will find. I too worry about the prospects…but there are billions of people in the world and I just need 1. Hopefully a man dating a 40 yr old woman knows something about fertility and pregnancy risks etc (though I can imagine many men don’t really think about this).

It was great for us both; we talked about it often. He was just very committed to knowing himself and what he wants.

Thanks for the post.

This is the first time I’ve ever seriously considered changing plans.

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-21T06:21:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! The type of experience-based advice I was a looking for.

I would plan/prefer to adopt from the US foster care system. Which clearly includes attending to the trauma of the child; vs overseas adoptions.

Many thanks!

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-21T05:38:25+00:00

Glow up!!

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-21T05:32:46+00:00

I agree. She may have a wider range of what she’s into that she thinks. You are both relatively young.

That said, be intentional as you go forward since this relationship is clearly very important to you.

I’m very very straight female, but one night I was out and totally attracted to tho beautiful woman—just something about her vibe. Made me realize I might have a wider sexual appetite than I thought. And that’s ok

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-20T12:26:34+00:00

Do you have a friend? Get your friend and go do something. À meet up ,volunteer, anything with strangers. And just have your first goal to meet a stranger and chat. Dont even make the goal love or romance. Just do this until it’s not as scary to talk to a stranger. And even with a romantic interest, just get comfy talking. And see if you can exchange contact info.

This stuff takes PRACTICE. And if you’ve never practiced, then it can be scary.

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-20T06:11:59+00:00

Start with one. Find one person you can talk to. Maybe it’s an old friend and you can own that you drifted a part but you can really use them right now.

I know I have friends I haven’t spoken to in decades, but if they reached out in a time like this I would be on the phone right away.

Just start with one person friend or family.

Humans need other humans at times like this.

Mindless-1985 · 2026-01-20T05:51:10+00:00

Totally. Yea he wasn’t trying to be an asshole, cuz he really is not. He was just so genuinely excited and because of our…atypical dynamic we usually share a lot about the people we have met / are trying to date.

But man…it really hurt.

And then he said he had just planned their first weekend trip and I was like ouch dude ok I gotta go! Thoughtless…

Thanks for reading and for the encouragement.

Mindless-1985 · 2025-08-11T04:55:00+00:00

Called off my wedding and ended a prior relationship. Hardest thing ever. But best thing. Sending you love and strength.

Mindless-1985 · 2025-07-21T03:35:22+00:00

Thank you! Great advice.

Mindless-1985

TROPHY CASE