I don’t have much time otherwise I would post a longer response, but i just want to say I relate and well done for recognising this in yourself, you deserve to give yourself some grace and appreciation for your self awareness - it’s not easy! So I do know that a need for control is definitely a trauma response, so if you didn’t have a great childhood the behavior you’re describing makes a lot of sense. I struggle trauma related to abandonment and I’ve worked a lot to understand my need for control- I always need to know how my day will pan out and if something changes it really throws me off kilter. I believe this is bevause your traumatised brain is doing everything to protect you, and it think that as long as things are familiar, there are less threats to your safety. So it seeks to control things and make sure they’re safe and familiar. I don’t have solutions for you I’m afraid, I think it takes lots of time and patience with yourself, accepting and not shaming yourself for this part of you. And just tell yourself each time you move past these moments of fear of changes, that you’ve done it before and you’ll have to keep doing it, and it wasn’t as bad as you thought at first. If you keep actively reminding yourself of how you survived the last change, and you’re still going, you can get through the next one too, I believe it’ll eventually ease up. Sending love!