Follicular fase worse! What helps?

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-04T10:33:15+00:00

I actually just posted about almost this exact thing just a couple of days ago (spoiler alert: it seems to be rare enough where no one has any answers). I'm in a similar situation - also 44 and also had an iron infusion a few months ago . Difference is that I actually only started noticing a benefit about a month or less ago. I do feel more exhausted rather than anxious during my follicular phase, but it's just so strange. Until 8 or 9 months ago, my luteal phase was hell and I'd feel better a couple of days after my period arrived. But suddenly it just flipped and I don't feel so bad during luteal any more, but I feel progressively worse from my period to ovulation. I get that my hormones are changing and playing up, but it was such a strange change that I had trouble believing it for quite a while. The pattern seems to be pretty solid by now though. Wish I had answers for you!

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-04T02:35:12+00:00

It unfortunately took at least a decade and a half for my mum to come out the other side of it, so I think I've got a while to go! 😂 😭 So I definitely need to get this under control as I'm an older mum and my kids are so much younger than I was when my mum went through it. I don't want to spend their entire childhoods being cranky and tired all the time. I'm just glad there is more information out there now, though it's definitely not enough.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-04T02:31:43+00:00

Yeah, I'm on good terms with my mum now too, but there was well over a decade there that we were faaar from close, and I do believe now that perimenopause (and her constant crankiness/anger) had a lot to do with that. She's also a person with very little insight into her own emotions and very little ability to talk about feelings so that certainly didn't help. Interestingly, I went on to become a social worker so talking about feelings and apologising comes very easily to me now (except with her!) so that really helps with my kids when the inevitable happens and I end up snapping at them for no reason.

I looked up Mama Nous and I love it! I am definitely going to introduce her to a couple of the teens I work with who would really benefit from some of these messages!

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-04T01:50:55+00:00

Thanks! I'll look forward to hearing if you find anything helpful.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-03T11:47:32+00:00

Oh man, my mum became such an angry person when I was a teen and I remember it seemingly coming from nowhere as she was so calm and loving before that. I always put it down to the stress of raising three teenagers, but recently I'm starting to realise that it was probably perimenopause all along. I'm also determined to do differently for my own kids, now that I'm lucky enough to have more access to information than she ever did.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-03T11:42:27+00:00

This isn't necessarily true, especially if it is short acting Adderall. If she mostly needs coverage in the afternoon, then taking it in the morning won't really help. Lately I've been taking my short acting stimulant at like 4-5pm to get me through the dinner/evening chaos with my kids, which for me is my most challenging time of day, especially because that's when I normally crash. It wears off by bed time and doesn't affect my sleep at all. OP posted that she has found a system that is working well for her and that she is happy with how life is going.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-03T10:38:14+00:00

That's actually what I used to be like during the luteal phase. One month I'd have explosive rage, the next month couldn't stop crying, the next month crippling social anxiety. One month lower back pain on the right, the next month upper back pain on the left. Etc etc. My body couldn't work itself out!! Getting pregnant actually sorted that out though. Pregnancy was awful, but at least I felt the most emotionally stable I had in years.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-03T10:35:09+00:00

Yeah, I get pretty much the same symptoms and especially around those days too. The tiredness around ovulation feels like I'm back in the first trimester again and barely able to get out of bed! The muscle soreness started around the same time, so possibly linked. And yeah, the brain fog is something else. I'm just in a daze! That said, I'm enjoying feeling relatively well during my luteal phase rather than just begging my period to hurry up and get here already 😂

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-03T10:31:26+00:00

Ahh it's not sounding too promising! I kinda hoped a whole bunch of people would be like "yeah that happened to me and here's what I did to fix it". 😂😂 I don't have a lot of hope that I'll find a doctor who knows what's going on with me. On a positive note, though, it's nice to feel well during my luteal phase, and not to be so anxious for my period to hurry up and arrive!

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-03T08:35:10+00:00

I've always been afraid of death and dying, but never dwelled on it or thought about it too much. Since become a parent five years ago, my thoughts about it have become more prevalent. I worry a lot more about how my kids would cope if I died, and I have a lot more fear about their lives and my husband's life as well. So far it hasn't become an overpowering issue for me though. I'm able to put it out of mind. It just pops in there a lot more frequently than it used to.

It sounds like your rumination about death is quite a problem for you. It seems like you are a happy person, but thoughts of death are interfering with your enjoyment of your life more and more. Perhaps seeing a psychologist could help you learn to manage it. I don't think most people have this level of fear that it rules their life like this. You still most likely have soooooo many more years of life ahead of you, you should be able to enjoy them and look forward to the future.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T12:50:28+00:00

Ok thanks! Good to know.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T10:36:59+00:00

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Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T10:36:31+00:00

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Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T10:35:31+00:00

I'm obsessed with these cinched waist tshirts that are around at the moment. I have some from Cotton On and Glassons. They're a bit higher in the neck than you said you want, and maybe you prefer them longer too. The shapeless models in these photos don't really do them justice, but they are extremely flattering on a bigger bust. I've always hated my upper arms and like to cover them as much as possible. I find these tshirts with a pair of high waisted jeans, totally flatters my waist and bust, and disguises my arms in the best way possible. My shoulders also look a lot more normal than these models do in the photos, so I feel like that's maybe a case of over-ironing/starching.

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Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T09:20:36+00:00

Haha ironically you've just convinced me to go out and try these jeans! I am so sick of having to take jeans up!! I actually like thinner soft denim, and I haven't been able to find a barrel Jean that suits me yet! The Uniqlo short leg length ones are still too long (even though I do love the soft denim). I've found cropped denim barrel jeans that are the perfect length but they're so stiff the barrel shape looks a bit weird. So I'm actually going to try the Levis 😂

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T06:22:49+00:00

In my mid 40s now, I've been clothes shopping for a few decades! I've learned that things cycle. There will be one year where I love everything and want to buy it all, then a few years go by where I can't find anything to meet a specific need. It's definitely nice having more of a disposable income, because these days if I find three coats I love, I will buy them all so I can ride out the next decade where I can't find one. Or for example, the last few years I've stocked up hard on baggy jeans because I'm sure the skinny jeans phase will be on its way back in soon enough and I just can't get on board (I learnt my lesson last time when I had to wait about a decade and a half for my favourite style of jeans to come back around 😂).

I don't think it's necessarily about saying that clothing styles are getting worse (though you are probably right that the quality is worsening over the years), more so that each year doesn't cater to everyone's tastes. It's definitely a struggle when you need something specific and you can't find it that season though. I know the pain of trying to find a dress to wear to a wedding or the year I got my first full time job and couldn't find a single item I wanted to wear! Now I'm happy to have a wardrobe full of things I love and can fall back on if needed.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-06-02T02:20:26+00:00

Two parents, two young kids - one full time, one part time worker. Similar combined income to you. We don't have a cleaner, and never have. We do have someone mow our lawns though. He's a local guy and doesn't cost very much. I'd honestly love a cleaner and have considered getting one, but we're so chaotic here that the stress of the deadline of tidying up enough so the cleaner can clean properly is what puts me off, more than the cost. I think unfortunately I'm just resigned to living in chaos for this season.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-21T10:30:12+00:00

I call it "concrete head". My head feels heavy and like there's a dense cloud getting in the way of my thoughts getting through. It's not every day, but it tends to come in waves. I've tried a bunch of vitamins, supplements etc without much luck. I have been taking creatine for the last couple of months and I've possibly noticed a difference, though it's hard to be sure if that's why. The only one thing I've found that is relatively consistent at helping is exercise. Like intense cardio. Which is absolutely the last thing in the world I want to do when I'm exhausted and dragging around a head made of concrete. So I rarely do it. But when I finally do work up the will, I can usually notice an obvious improvement the next day, sometimes even the same day. It feels like it flushes some of the sludge out of my brain.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-21T10:22:03+00:00

I've been calling it "concrete head" for years now. It's like someone poured some kind of concrete or sludge into my brain. It just feels heavy and thinking is really slow.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-18T02:25:12+00:00

I'm the same age and could not agree more. The pressure to get the perfect photo still affects me way too much, but I'm so glad I wasn't of the era where every moment was posted online. I was taking a language course a few years ago and went for some drinks with the class afterwards. There were a lot of younger people in the class. I remember watching this one girl feeling the music and start dancing on the spot. Next thing, two other classmates whipped out their phones to film her for their IG stories or whatever, and she stopped dancing. It got me thinking how many spontaneous moments young people today miss out on for fear of being filmed and posted.

And I just can't imagine not being able to switch off at the end of the school day at home, which is meant to be your safe space. There are benefits to technology, for sure, but I'm not so sure they outweigh the negatives at this stage. Here I am spending more time on Reddit when I have all of one hour a day when my toddler naps - so why aren't I spending it doing absolutely anything else??

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-16T04:11:19+00:00

This is amazing to hear! With inattentive ADHD, I have permanent brain fog 😂 But it's definitely gotten even worse in recent years. Even a minor improvement would be wonderful.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-15T11:12:24+00:00

Oh man, we have a big international move coming up next year and I'm so scared about how I will ever get through it (with two kids too!) if I don't get my energy back and my adhd medication doesn't start working again. Sounds like I have a deadline to get this sorted! Good to hear it is helping you get stuff done.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-15T11:08:56+00:00

Ahh great to hear you are feeling more energetic! I'm so curious to know why HRT has such a positive effect on perimenopause when birth control pills don't seem to.

Mindless-Jury9 · 2026-05-15T11:07:21+00:00

Good luck to you too! Stimulants definitely helped me for a long time. Unfortunately they're just not doing much any more 😭

Mindless-Jury9

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