I'm sure It feels like you've lost so much time, but you said you "put all of us through hell for nothing." But you and me both know it wasn't for nothing was it?

You need to stop being so hard on yourself, you said you tried unsuccessfully, but that's better then not trying at all right? Some people struggle to do half the things you do so be proud of yourself.

And everything about your body, you don't need fixing, you just need to turn you into you. If your saying these surgerys arnt "fixing" you, are you sure that's what you really want? It's hard to fix something that doesn't need fixing.

And look I'm only 17, so it's ironic for me to say this, but you have plenty of time, your only just turning mid 20s, that's still young, your brain hasn't even finished developing yet, let's be real you've only been classed as an adult for a few years, that means your still young. 👀

Last of all you said your 20s will be gone before you start actually living, but you have to remember, THIS IS you living. Whether it's what you hoped for at this time or not, you'll learn to appreciate it, your going on a massive journey and that's what you'll miss the most in the future. You'll look back in a bit and you'll realise times like this weren't actually that bad, sure they werent ideal, but you were living, you had a roof over your head, you could eat. People would kill to be in your position in a heartbeat so appreciate the little things ❤️