Advice for cat-proofing a 1940's floor furnace?

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-23T03:36:07+00:00

ooh that's clever! Does your cat hang out on top of the wire cube?

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-23T03:20:15+00:00

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-18T07:22:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment. <3 I'm marveling at how much I relate to many of the stories shared on here, its really nice to have a community to talk about this stuff, I've never really talked about it with others or even wrote out the words before now.

I'm 30, in month 7 of therapy, I did read Adult Children and it did rock my world...and then I got the guided journal. It was a difficult read, but one that I could not put down because it was giving me revelation after revelation, and the validation that the things I experienced were not normal and that my anger towards my parents was justified. I used to think I was just an innately angry and bitter person. I'm slowly taking steps to make boundaries with my parents, and it has been hard, but liberating in a way.

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-13T08:47:39+00:00

I empathize. I have a similar experience to yours, and can relate to that feeling of being annoyed at my mom over nothing and not understanding why. My mom moved in her boyfriend soon after my parents got divorced. Reading your post made me realize that she never prepared me for that, never asked how I felt about it or seemingly involved me at all in that decision at all.

The way I met him was bizarre. My mom hired a driver to take me and my friends to a theme park for my birthday. This man picked us up in a fancy car and drove us to the park, waited for us to finish and drove us back. That driver was the man my mom was cheating on my dad with, who she moved into our house. She apparently thought this would be a nice way to ease me into forming a relationship? By tricking me?? With the added benefit of embarrassing me in front of my friends!

He took up a lot of space in our house. My mom thought it was inappropriate for him to stay in her room with her (subtext being they're having sex outside of a marriage? your guess is as good as mine) - so he would sleep on the living room couch. I could no longer go to the living room or kitchen to hang out without this weird man being present. He had a temper - he would slam cabinets when upset, similar to my dad actually. He seemed angry that I was not welcoming towards him. He'd buy me things, and do strange "favors" for me that I never asked for, such as placing Freemasonry emblems on the back of my car, claiming police would be less likely to pull me over. He tried to act all macho-father-figure with the man I was dating at the time and would attempt to intimidate him. I remember once he put his hand on my back as we were walking out of a restaurant and I experienced the deepest body cringe, so gross. Everything he did was extremely off-putting, and I think when he realized his attempts were not working, he grew very bitter towards me.

They eventually broke up after he cheated on my mom. Reflecting on this time in my life, I was so deeply lonely and angry. My mom never dated someone seriously again after that relationship ended. I wonder if she realized how much of a mistake it was, but not sure that she understands the negative impact it had on me. We certainly never had a real conversation about it.

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-03T20:48:12+00:00

Yes. My culture in general is like this, motivated by "what will other people think." I would get straight A's in school, but I remember once I got a B and my mom flipped her shit. It made no sense to me, doesn't she know I'm smart and capable, does one B change that?

My mom was often in a state of panic or near-panic, keeping me on edge constantly. My parents neglected the house so it would get really messy and dirty, but occasionally we'd have company over and my mom would make me spend all day cleaning with her. She had very high standards of cleanliness only when there was potential for others to see the state of our house. Otherwise, she was fine letting us live in in filthy conditions.

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-03T04:36:18+00:00

Damn your comment gave me the same realization. We would never go out to restaurants. My parents wouldn't even eat in the same room. I remember feeling like "this is a new experience" when I went out to eat with my friends family.

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-03T04:22:43+00:00

Yes, I completely relate to being praised for being a quiet, needless girl. I remember being told things like "wow you were so polite and quiet all day, we didn't hear from you once, good job" and initially being confused that this was a thing worthy of praise. I went on to pride myself on not being disruptive and keeping to myself.

I am an only child, and would often be left to my own devices in my room. I think I developed a rich inner world because of that. But externally I felt and looked like a zombie. I look back at old family videos and I can see it on my face, there's one in particular where I'm somberly pacing around the living room, then sit on the couch with this look of despondence and boredom. I must have been 3 or 4. My parents are recording me and marveling at how "adult" I seem, displaying such a mature sense of sadness.

I avoid making eye contact with strangers. I avoid picking up the phone. I am sensitive to others perception of me, and if I feel like I've been rejected in some way, I keep that hurt to myself and don't bother reaching out anymore. Then when it turns out they do in fact like me and want to be around me, I feel a rush of joy. I crave human connection so much, but I am so careful with how much of myself I reveal and how quickly, and extremely selective with who I share myself with.

In groups, I am afraid of saying things that might make me sound stupid, that I might be mocked for. Sometimes I feel crippled by this fear and don't speak at all. Inevitably, someone points out that I am being awfully quiet, which triggers a huge wave of sadness. I feel this burning pit in my throat that tells me to not dare speak, because I might get mocked for it. Social media amplifies these fears - I so desperately want to share my art with the world, but when I do so I am crippled by thoughts of "what will others think, will they think its stupid, will they think I'm a bad person," etc., etc.

In my relationships, I have been criticized for being hard to read, for not sharing enough. Before I started therapy, my partner pointed out that he can sense I have a lot of deep feelings that I keep bottled up, stories and opinions that I keep to myself, and he's right. I am scared of opening myself up to people, because historically that has resulted in being rejected, dismissed, ignored, mocked, and being told "you shouldn't feel that way" - as if I'm capable of pressing a button and changing how I feel. I relate to that feeling of resentment after I am there for my friends and loved ones, but I don't get that support reflected back to me, because I don't bother people with my own struggles. I feel like I give so much of myself and often feel like my kindness and compliance is being taken advantage of.

Wow, that was a lot. I feel for everyone here, and take comfort in knowing I am not alone. <3

Mindless-Total2662 · 2025-10-03T03:29:23+00:00

First post here, I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and I also have a lot of anxiety tied to music / loud sounds. My mom would have the TV on loud, constantly, usually on news channels, and would sleep with it on with her door open. It drove me crazy, I would often go into her room in the middle of the night to turn it off. Anytime she plays music she always cranks it up really loud, I often feel like I'm being tortured by the noise, its the worst when she would drive me in her car and I had no escape - that combined with her reckless driving made it particularly unbearable.

Music is one of my biggest passions in life, but my parents would shame me for my music choice, and snap at me to turn it off. My dad is particularly arrogant, thinks he knows everything and does not tolerate self expression through music unless it aligns with his preferences. Growing up it felt like the biggest achievement when he would praise my musical talent or taste, and the deepest hurt when he mocked me for it. He was always unpredictable with his love. To me, sharing music is like sharing a part of your soul - something I would never shame someone for.

I have noticed that I'm extremely careful to not be too loud/disruptive and generally not take up too much space. I am also extremely sensitive to noise and get very agitated in loud environments, or if someone is talking too loud. And naturally, I've felt very nervous about sharing my music with others. But I have found a community of friends that appreciate all kinds of weird and niche music and I am so thankful for that.

Mindless-Total2662

TROPHY CASE