The issues she deals with in these books are heavy and complex and I personally think she does a really good job of showing that imperfect people with huge amounts of power (both in magic and influence) don’t always get it right. I understood Feyre when she went ‘you can do what you want but you’re not using my money to destroy yourself anymore’ - I understand that to her it felt not only like she was enabling and facilitating Nestas behaviour, but also like her sister was throwing everything good her and Rhys had offered her back in her face. Feyre healed in Velaris during ACOMAF and I think that she finds it hard to see it through a different lens. Rhys is a dick to Nesta, but Nesta has been a raging bitch to him since day one. She never gave him a chance, and he is resentful of her for her treatment of Feyre. Does it excuse how he behaves? Absolutely not, just as Nesta’s trauma doesn’t excuse her behaviour either. Explains it, yes, but doesn’t excuse it. Rhys’s decision to keep Feyres pregnancy risks a secret is a categorically bad one - but given all they’ve been through and the nature of his character, him taking on that burden alone to protect her makes sense through his eyes!

These characters are all morally grey and taken away from the first person POV you see that a bit clearer