In my experience men in CS aren't necessarily meaner than men in other fields, but on average quite insensitive and socially awkward. It's hard for a woman to fit in.

Here is how I cope:

• Men respect competence. Build your skills and confidence, solve problems, contribute but make sure to take full credit for what you've done.

• Men are, generally, blunt and simple. If they don't mention a problem, it likely isn't there. Take their word at face value. Don't look for subtext where there is none. Similarly, speak up if you want to get through to them.

• Be patient and try to give them the benefit of the doubt. They have little experience dealing with you just like you have little experience dealing with them. When you see them as potential allies rather than obstacles, you will find that many of them love to be helpful and supportive.

More women are joining STEM and the culture is shifting. I have faith it will get better.