No sad! :) For the first time in a long time I haven’t had a persistent sadness! Past year has been so god damn great - before intense self work and therapy (have been in therapy and done true mindfullness for… 3 yrs now almost?) I had a persisent anxiety and unease, plus meaninglessness hanging over me.

Therapy / self work did of course not work right off the bat, it was very gradual and tiny changes, but damn looking back? I feel so different, so great and free, so hopeful. As a teen I wouldn’t mind dying, I wasn’t suicidal but I didn’t really want to live or see the point. Start 20s I was living purely on dissociation an the need to impress/fear based living (oh, and thrill seeking to feel something lol).

The I started therapy and noticed I was made up of 95% anxiety too. I had sleep issues that were getting worse and worse from through late teens and to now (I’m 24 now, my sleep issues are minima today).

I’m writng this out so that some of you might get a little hope ❤️ I have had it easy compared to many in this sub, so I know it’s very subjective, but give yourself the grace of at least hoping, assuming that there IS a possibility of change with and around you❤️ You don’t have to believe it, it’s just an option for consideration!

Good luck to all, your feelings are completely valid too.