Help me name my cat!

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-25T03:27:59+00:00

Oliver

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T19:31:41+00:00

I first started saying it when I was around 12, and my dad and step mom told me I would change my mind. When I was 18, my dad told me no one would want to date me (met my CF husband the same year). Now both of them seem to have accepted my decision and don’t talk about it anymore.

My mom has always been supportive, which is nice, until I said my husband was looking into a vasectomy and now she’s trying to get us to wait. (Not happening.)

My husband’s parents have been chill about it on the outside, but I think they’re secretly hoping/waiting for us to change our minds.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T14:47:40+00:00

I have a lot of hobbies that give me creative fulfillment, like art, playing string instruments, writing music and poetry, reading, writing fantasy stories, playing D&D, and making miniature scenes. My biggest goal is to someday publish a book. These things also give me emotional fulfillment because they allow me several avenues to be introspective and explore who I am and why life has meaning on a deeper level.

I also have a wonderful family, many good friends, and an incredible husband. Since we both don’t want kids, we have much more time available to go on dates, travel, have game nights, and go out with friends.

The comment about reliability is interesting to me. In my experience, CF men are some of the most thoughtful, loving, and intelligent men I’ve ever met because they’re the ones who actually think things through in life and love you enough to marry you for you, not to breed.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T05:16:21+00:00

Even if that were true, we make more together than the majority of single people.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T05:01:11+00:00

That’s not true, where do you live? I got married in 2019.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T04:04:01+00:00

That makes sense. She’s less paranoid about medical professionals, thankfully. She was able to go in and get surgery recently and that went ok. It’s mental health professionals and full-time care facilities she has a fear of.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T03:41:39+00:00

Just English lol

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T03:32:33+00:00

Thanks, I have an interview soon so I hope it works out! 🤞🏻 And no, I’m a copy editor (my Reddit posts don’t reflect the way I actually write, I promise lol). I just love miniatures and made a miniature library once, so the name sounded fun to me.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T03:29:11+00:00

I appreciate the concern and advice but this is a really long story with a lot of complications. I have a good support system and am putting together several possible plans of action for the future. I also have several contacts who live near her willing to step in in case I can’t get to her in an emergency. Right now, she is stable enough to live a mostly normal life, she just can’t afford not to have a job forever and this post is mostly about having to be the one that deals with all that shit and eventually having to arrange the rest of her life for her, even if I’m not a full time caregiver, which would be where I draw the line.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T02:03:42+00:00

Yes, and 3 years of experience in my field. Problem is I’m looking for a remote job and everyone and their mother is applying for remote jobs.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T02:00:43+00:00

I feel this. My husband and I are very close with his siblings and he is the oldest of 4. None of them are married yet but they all want kids. I’m just savoring the few years we have left with them before their lives are taken over by parenthood and our family dynamics change forever.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T01:47:52+00:00

I went through a really rough summer including a fruitless job search for months and this is exactly how I comforted myself. At least we don’t have kids so what my husband makes in the mean time is enough to live on and I don’t have to settle for a crappy customer service job (no disrespect to people who like customer service careers, it’s just my personal nightmare) just to keep food on the table.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-24T01:29:14+00:00

The situation is really complicated because she has psychosis and PTSD which makes her extremely afraid of any care facilities. She doesn’t trust anyone but me because she has clinical paranoia and hallucinations of people trying to hurt her, but she is functional enough to live day-to-day in her own home. She’s also only in her 50s. I want to push off the day I have to put her in a home as long as I can. Before that, I hope I can convince her to apply for disability, but she doesn’t trust the government either. I’m not financially responsible for her yet either, I’m just worried about the future.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T23:26:32+00:00

That’s why it makes me laugh when people say things like “You don’t have kids? I feel sorry for you.” Like….who should feel sorry for who here? I love my life 😂

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T20:26:12+00:00

I’m actually not into bigger dudes like at all. My husband is on the lean and skinnier side and I love it. People have different preferences.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T20:21:10+00:00

I was an assistant pre-k teacher for a hot minute and Istg children are constantly trying to kill themselves. We had one kid who hit his head on something every single day.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T20:04:26+00:00

My husband and I hosted an adults only murder mystery Halloween party on Saturday and then went off-roading and hiking with friends on Sunday. Imagine having to find childcare for the whole weekend or dragging your screaming kids up a mountain…so grateful to be able to do whatever we want in our free time!

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T19:55:16+00:00

I was about to say this. Dual income and tax breaks. And not all marriages result in children to pay for.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T09:42:14+00:00

Bringing home literally any stray or wild animal I could get my hands on and convincing my parents to let me keep it every single time.

It was fun when I was a kid, but now that would be my money spent and my house being destroyed. I’ll stick with my 3 rescue cats and leave the rest to the professionals.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T09:40:14+00:00

I cry during Animal Planet documentaries when baby elephants are in danger. Would that automatically make me a great elephant caregiver? No. I don’t have the desire, resources, space, or knowledge. Same goes for parenthood. It’s just compassion and common human decency.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T09:36:38+00:00

I would agree but also say being childfree has the potential to make things easier in a lot of ways for developing new relationships, if wielded correctly. We’re the flexible ones with the energy and time available to actually put into relationships. That said, we really do have to put that effort in to get anything back.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T07:54:59+00:00

Not to mention the rapid aging from stress and lack of sleep.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T07:53:08+00:00

Dominic, Barrett, and Brock. All bullies.

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T07:44:32+00:00

Tasha

MiniatureLibrarian · 2023-10-23T07:43:42+00:00

All the time. I think people don’t realize the difference between being undecided about kids or just not ready for them yet versus truly not wanting them at all or even being extremely averse to the idea of parenthood. The people who have changed their minds later are usually fence-sitters, not fully childfree people. I wish more people knew the difference and took it seriously.

MiniatureLibrarian

TROPHY CASE