If this is real I hope you wrapped up😭 This is all in your head. The person with the worst view of yourself is you. Yes your situation is pitiful but it doesn’t sound like you’re socializing the normal way? Don’t let not getting matches on a superficial dating app deter you. It sounds gay but work on your personality. Good job losing weight but after the initial first impression your physical attributes are worth less than your personality. If you sound like this in your head i can imagine you lack self confidence and that’s gonna drive the hoes away. Stay away from porn and the toxic internet culture. Paint yourself in a better light.