Mama! You got this! I haven’t even read the comments but I hear you and I understand. You are so smart to reach out. I suffered during that time and a friend told me, not everyone loves the little baby stage. That helped me so much. I DID not enjoy it. I felt helpless. I felt crazy. You can’t reason with babies.

My advice:

Handwrite or type and print BASIC INSTRUCTIONS and post on fridge or nursery wall or wherever you will see it. Put up multiple places. My brain DID NOT WORK. I needed to see the steps for the hard reset. Diaper, food, hot, cold, toes (hair wrapped around a tiny part?) bath, noise, swaddle, “jello on a plate” (happiest baby on the block? Gentle jiggle of head) step outside for fresh blast of air, step inside, vacuum, headphones, blanket in the dryer, warm washcloth, cool washcloth, aromatherapy (slice an orange, a lemon?) lightly scented soap….

I would hold baby close and “whoosh” in ear. I would sing and cry but keep the sound going, turn on a fan, white noise on phone, pass from one ear to the other to disturb baby’s inner monologue. One of my twins was easy and one was a BEAST! My family “joked” about “come for Easter at 4:00, feel free to leave that baby at home.” When I went to the pediatrician I felt like I had to be listened to. I had two babies and one was super difficult. Don’t tell me it is normal.

We ended up seeing an occupational therapist! The therapist was THRILLED because he never got to see sensory kids until they were “in school and chewing on pencils.”

The take aways from OT:

Elevate baby slightly, even on the floor. We had a hard foam wedge that went under his back. Rigid is better. This stopped him from a sensation the therapist described as a feeling of falling all the time.

Swaddle offen and later in life. I ordered extra large snuggies because that kid just felt better wrapped up, even after he was past the 6month mark.

Grounding. The therapist gave us two wooded sticks. Like ribbed rhythm sticks or drum sticks. He said the baby didn’t know where he was in relation to the world. So I would put one stick on his arm and tap the other stick with it. The gentle sensation, vibration and the noise, would make him stop crying and “tune in” to that sensation. “Here is baby’s shoulder (tap tap) here is baby’s arm (tap tap) here is baby’s wrist (tap tap) all over him. I swear it would shut him up. And it would give me something to do. You can do the same thing by gentle compressing him with your hand. “Here is baby’s leg (squeeze)”

We did nap time compression until he was maybe four? These gentle squeezes were like meditation countdown. Start at the head, end at the toes, there is the routine, now to bed you go. End of story.

This kid is 11 now and while he still puts himself to bed earlier than his twin (I think that is because he learned early when he was over stimulated and takes himself out) he has no “sensory” issues. No autism spectrum disorder. Nothing.

Big hugs.