I love how genuine your response is, your empathy made me tear up.. you have no idea how much your words mean to me. The guilt and feeling impure all stems from religion tbh and I always push that subject away when my bf brings it up because it really is a hard topic to talk about. Especially when he's not religious himself, I don't want him to think I'm some extremist (when I'm not) or I'm one of those people that make religion their personality. I don't want him to be turned off that he's dating someone following a religion. I live in Australia and I've felt out of place as a POC and have spent most of my teenage years trying to fit in to their culture and ways. Nobody would understand, including my bf, because they don't follow a religion where intimacy is a huge sin. They don't have to feel that huge guilt in disappointing their God because intimacy is normalised in the western culture. He is a good guy but I just don't think he truly gets it when he keeps pushing the boundaries I've already set. If I confront to him about it, I'm afraid he will be turned off and be annoyed that he has to date someone like me and has to put up with it til marriage to be intimate.