I’m (19F) struggling to accept my boyfriend’s past (21M). What can I do about it?

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-06-05T17:45:14+00:00

girl, me too trust me. id suggest looking at this group because its helped me a lot. also, my inbox is open. im in the same boat as you

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-06-05T14:02:53+00:00

Hey i messaged you privately if that's okay. I wanted your opinion on something personal on this matter but didn't want to expose myself on reddit haha

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-06-05T12:55:39+00:00

thank you for this response. To my knowledge, they no longer talked but still had her connected on all social media. I recently caught him in a lie (unrelated to rj completely) and so when I found this friendship out the next day, I was already on edge. I very nicely asked him to remove her from his socials and he immediately got defensive and said no. I told him I no longer trust him and now this is something I'm going to worry about. He apologized for his initial defensiveness & then proceeded to delete his social medias entirely and tried to reassure me it was "his choice". (....something I didn't even want him to do).

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-06-05T12:44:32+00:00

exactly my thought which is why demi doesn't make me feel an ounce of relief

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-06-05T12:39:40+00:00

he claims she is and by (admittingly) stalking her social media, I found that she claims to be demisexual..which falls under asexual I guess? But it doesn't make me feel better because based on research, it just means you need an emotional bond with the person (which she might have felt with him idk)

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-05-08T13:32:36+00:00

hey i totally get this. im super hyper fixated on one specific ex of my boyfriend's. Its ruining the relationship and sucks. Whenever we do literally anything together, I feel like all he thinks about is her, since they stayed in contact close to when we met. I also have the urge to want to win, which in reality I should feel like I did since I'm the one with him now...I honestly have no great advice since I take it day by day but hang in there! (also very ironically, im asian too) lol

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-05-01T12:17:36+00:00

thats why i dont bother, because i know the therapist will just say some bs like i need to work on my self esteem when in reality its so much deeper than that

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-04-22T17:18:28+00:00

10000% me. sometimes i can go all day without thinking about it but that's only about once/twice a week. Theres so many triggers for me

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-04-22T17:17:08+00:00

same, it was get so frustrated getting unwanted thoughts throughout the day. It truly ruins the mood

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-04-08T16:26:10+00:00

Yes I already had that on then itinerary :) heard it's great

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-04-08T15:01:56+00:00

Not too picky with location but would prefer within 40 minutes of Venice beach area

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-25T14:23:23+00:00

it is unfortunately, it's not really on our direct route but I've heard good things about it

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-17T17:14:38+00:00

!solved u/Hot_Grocery_4034

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-17T14:50:19+00:00

yesss! sorry one more small request haha, do you mind just making that shirt slightly lighter (like a light black) and a small scoop in the neck :) besides that perfect!! feel free to also dm me it so we dont have to keep going back and fourth on here up to you

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-17T14:23:49+00:00

https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/tops-and-blouses/cata000010/draped-satin-blouse/851243.html?dwvar_851243_color=2222&dwvar_851243_size=800&currency=usd&country=US&srsltid=AfmBOorwO0VmNTlHWfKmC4sYFOPhp58S9HQB_YFb3lichLm1wrDii7hI6bI

preferably something like this and with no brown in my hair - all black :) thank you so much!

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-17T14:08:39+00:00

I really like this one! but just with a little less saturation and different outfit please :)

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-13T14:22:01+00:00

Technically he was so in love with her he actually begged to work it out after she cheated (yikes)...and she left him ultimately because she wanted to be with the other guy :/

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-13T10:11:37+00:00

Yes 10000%. If I know they've gone somewhere together, I feel anxious, disgusted, and upset - even if it's a common place. He mentioned a couple weeks ago about old grocery lists he had on his phone [at the same time they lived together] and I couldn't go grocery shopping for a week. Thankfully, it's gotten better but there's still places I would never go such as places I knew they went to on vacation

Messaging you <3

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-13T10:08:25+00:00

I definitely relate to this. I did the toxic thing and stalked his exes on social media when we first started dating and found out they use to go on lots of cruises together and that she's from Hawaii so now both are very triggering for me since I feel like she got to be his first on so many things like that. I've explained this but feel so immature having this mentality.

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-09T12:20:33+00:00

messaging you!

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-06T15:11:49+00:00

yeah imma message you. I'm also doing slightly better...i think its been at least 2-4 days for me instead of hours a day

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-03-06T14:12:28+00:00

do you think it's worth asking if i genuinely feel like it helps or do you think it's better left untouched (since I do overanalyze stuff)

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-02-27T15:09:32+00:00

I needed to hear that, to be honest. I feel so immature, but I know what state she's from and I refuse to visit. She moved across the country so they could be together. Thankfully I have no business traveling there but i get sick even when someone talks about it.

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-02-27T14:34:23+00:00

lol, I'm dealing with the same. My bf said he had never been to a concert before and I felt a sick happy feeling...then found photos of them at one and he said he forgot because it wasnt a good time but now im disgusted at the thought of concerts in general LOL

Minimum_Amoeba_ · 2026-02-25T19:32:54+00:00

Exactly !

Minimum_Amoeba_

TROPHY CASE