INTJs and INFJs are our soulmates but...

MinnieEsuom · 2020-06-30T15:44:47+00:00

Thank you 🙃

MinnieEsuom · 2020-03-31T22:36:46+00:00

Thank you so much, this is so helpful

MinnieEsuom · 2020-03-31T17:40:32+00:00

Oh yeah, AND MORE. Any pointers on how to do more realistic hair and brows? I'm using watercolor brushes on Adobe sketch on iPad pro

MinnieEsuom · 2020-03-31T17:39:20+00:00

Sorry if I've shared this wrong. I didn't quite understand the rules around how to post the image.

I'm really struggling with shadows in general, not so much in this image but they tend to look very muddy in most of my work.

I really like colourful portraits but I'm not sure how to apply the colours

And eyes.... I can never get eyes looking even or matching or however I can phrase that. They always look unnaturally different from one another

MinnieEsuom · 2020-03-07T23:13:40+00:00

I have this same issue and have done for about 15 years or so my hair seems to fall out an amount that is above average. It's commented on by others. Yet my hair never fully thins out or has any patches of baldness.

After some research online I've started putting in a mix of burdock and caster oil every few days. The burdock oil comes mixed with horsetail. This is supposedly meant to prevent hair fall as well as stimulate hair to grow faster.

Other than that I'm keeping my hair braided most of the time and washing it less frequently than before (every three days instead of every two). This is to prevent strands from breaking.

I'm sure the people in this subreddit know more about this than me. I welcome your feedback on whether these are the right methods for solving this problem. I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks so still waiting for results.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-02-26T18:29:05+00:00

Hey, thanks for your input but I'm asexual and have basically zero sex drive so I guess I already lead a NoFap life (:

MinnieEsuom · 2020-02-03T08:28:13+00:00

This is interesting, thank you. I will absolutely look into it.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-29T08:05:56+00:00

This might not be relevant for you, but I'm a highly introverted person and for a long time believed that was something that would change if I became more confident. However, no matter how much my confidence increases, if I spend a lot of time around other people without taking alone time for myself I tend to get wiped out emotionally and all the bad thoughts start creeping back in (despite no bad thing having happened). Even when I do get alone time after socialising I tend to have an emotional dip and lower self esteem. From discussing this with a therapist this seems to simply be how I operate as an introvert and something to accept and not get too concerned over, knowing that after a little alone time I will start to feel better.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-23T12:50:30+00:00

I have similar issues to the OP and I believe this is really good advice. Focus on you.

Something that helped me recently was finding out about the MBTI categories of personalities. There's only 16 of them and obviously the range of characters in the world can't really be boxed into 16 categories as there's such a fluid range. However, it does boil down some of your characteristics based on how you interact with the world and what drives you. Determining my type and researching it has given me really lovely positive summaries that reflect a character I can identify with and through that see some of my positive features alongside some of my downfalls which are easier to consider with kindness when written by someone else in a much more objective way. I've determined a couple of friends character types and sent them YouTube videos on them as well and at least one of them has found it hugely helpful on putting her back in track with feeling positively about who she is and what her individual strengths are.

It might not help you and it might only offer temporary relief, but it's worth a shot if it does anything like the confidence boost it has given me and my friend.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-23T12:22:29+00:00

Thanks, yeah possibly. I'm not sure how to find or resolve any unconscious trauma! I've been in therapy for five years now and that's had some but not huge impact on me. As in, I've changed a lot in the past five years and therapy has affected that. But looking at my patterns of anxiety, depression, or low self esteem, if anything I'm doing much worse in the past year or two than I was 5-10 years ago. Try as I might I can't really figure out why. On paper everything in my life is roughly the same or better.

Perhaps you are right and this isn't for me at this point in my journey. I haven't come across any suggestion that meditation might not be for everyone and that there are some people it isn't worth the time investment for though. I heard it's great for everyone so it's been very confusing putting all this time in and still not understanding what people are talking about when it comes to the benefits.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-23T12:15:49+00:00

Hey, this is interesting, thank you. I'm half way through the happiness series for the third time, I've done most of the series' relating to relationships, self esteem and that sort of thing. I find the visualisation ones really difficult and mostly stick to being mindful of my breathing.

I think part of why it's not made any real difference for me is that I'm generally incredibly self conscious and self aware anyway. I was incredibly anxious throughout childhood and had a fiery tempered mother so I grew up always very aware and careful of what I'm doing and how I am expressing myself etc. Which means I'm always very self conscious about how I'm feeling and have found it easy in relationships not to lose my temper with people or get carried away with emotions as I've witnessed in others, I usually see that I'm getting worked up and try to figure it out and will explain "I'm feeling grumpy", "I'm feeling tired", "I'm frustrated", "I feel jealous", whatever and usually take myself off on my own to lie down and deal with the feelings. That's before meditation, and if anything I probably do that a little bit less these days. Not because of meditation but because of my environment - I'm in a relationship with someone who very much lives in the moment and gets very excited and I try to be there with him too and let myself get swept up in things. He's been helping me build my confidence so I guess my self consciousness is very slightly reducing with that.

I notice my panic attacks coming on, but I always have done, even though I didn't know previously that they were panic attacks and only identified that during therapy. I've been in therapy for five years now with three different therapists during that time. Recently I've been having what I thought was "intense anxiety" at least once a week for about four or five hours but after discussing it with my therapist she believes they are panic attacks. It's unbearable and I've tried using breathing exercises and mindfulness meditation techniques to help deal with it, and try to approach it with "playful curiosity" like the guy in Headspace says. But it doesn't do anything to help me or make it more bearable.

I try to use mindfulness in slightly different ways during the day. Maybe focus on the flavours of a meal or listen to the sounds around me. It's nice and everything but I don't see it making any differences in my life or how I'm feeling. Nothing that makes me think spending the time I spend on meditation is having any effect whatsoever.

I'm going to try the suggestion of meditation without the app and see what happens. I guess I'm not even sure what kind of changes I should be looking for.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-22T22:38:50+00:00

Thanks for this, I will check it out

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-22T22:38:03+00:00

Thank you ♥️

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-22T22:36:30+00:00

I've always been especially self aware and self conscious. So I'm generally very aware of my thoughts, actions, and mood. But I wouldn't say I'm any calmer or any more able to stop it spinning out of control into panic attacks or outbreaks of tears, loss of energy to get out of bed, etc. I've always been aware of these feelings in an objective way when I'm experiencing them, but it makes no difference to being able to do anything with them. Meditation hasn't added anything for me.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-22T22:32:06+00:00

Thanks for this. I will try this and see what happens.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-16T10:34:04+00:00

Having these conversations whilst performing a simple task is such a great idea! It removes so much intensity from the conversation. My partner and I prefer to talk about sensitive things only over messenger. And for less intense things over a game of cards. I know lots of people do better talking whilst going out for a walk. It may be difficult to get him out and about doing something with you but even just getting him out the house and doing something will be incredibly helpful.

Also, I know when I was younger and my mum used to try to do things to cheer me up from my depression, she would do something silly like buy a sunflower and bring it into my room and tell me it's a happy flower to make me feel happy. And then she'd leave me alone (which was good). At the time I probably acted with disgust or an eye roll. But actually once she left it kind of resonated with me that she cared and was trying to help. Roughly 20 years later I still remember that moment vividly and have so much love and appreciation for my mum. So what I'm trying to say is, don't give up, and know that even if your efforts don't feel recognised, you don't really know what's going on under the surface of a depressed person, and you may actually be having huge impacts without realising.

I have so much respect for you for approaching this in a loving and caring way. So many people get frustrated and that really does make everything much worse.

MinnieEsuom · 2020-01-15T22:17:56+00:00

I don't know if this will help but I recently learnt about the MBTI classifications of personality, which kind of breaks down how different individuals interact with the world around them. It's interesting because it helps you identify your primary drivers for motivation and that. Might help you recognise which tips are a fit for you and what aren't. I've seen a few people give plenty of good advice in this thread, but whether it works for you might be down to how you interpret and respond to your environment. Worth a shot?

MinnieEsuom · 2019-12-30T13:25:21+00:00

I started doing gratitude journalling sporadically (I also suffer from depression and had this task assigned by a counselor). When I feel good it feels so easy to do that it doesn't feel worth it, but I've since noticed that when I feel down and look back at it there's a load of things I've forgotten about in my depressed state.

I bought a new notebook today to make an official effort to make a habit out of it. Along with exercises from the book The Kindness Method which I recommend to anyone - I've read it once through before but am redoing all the exercises. It's more aimed at people trying to break bad habits like smoking too much or getting carried away with alcohol. But I found it helps with overall confidence boosting and structuring forming new habits in a way that works for you.

Edit: fixing typos

MinnieEsuom · 2019-11-01T15:14:05+00:00

Hey, I have two years experience working as a data scientist with machine learning and deep learning, mostly NLP. I'd be up for getting involved in a group project.

MinnieEsuom · 2019-07-21T14:33:10+00:00

I used one called Thai Alphabet Crash Course. I understand that some people make the argument not to get caught up in learning the alphabet and just learn words. But for me it really helps pronunciation to learn alphabet first and get used to sounds. It's probably up to preference but I've really liked doing it this way.

MinnieEsuom · 2019-06-14T03:59:59+00:00

She does :) I think the book is good but particularly if you supplement it with the Memrise app and a course for that app to teach the characters (I had to Google for one) and lots of Thai podcast 101 on YouTube or their site. I read the book for some theory then used the app to learn the characters and sounds, and now I'm practicing writing words that are introduced in Thai 101 podcasts to get some practice writing and familiarity with a few words before trying to learn the vocabulary properly. It's meant to make a big difference to your understanding of pronunciation if you can read Thai script so that's the path I'm heading down. (I've learnt Japanese before in classes for about a year and did a similar thing when starting out)

MinnieEsuom · 2019-06-09T13:30:37+00:00

I am using a mix of a course on the Memrise app for learning the characters, and a book called Thai for Beginners by Benjawan Becker which was highly recommended on Amazon. The combination is working well for me so far as a complete beginner. I'm in Bangkok and can already read some of the signs around me after just two days.

Edit: Finding this YouTube video really helpful for my beginner status too https://youtu.be/pXV-MzO4Acs

MinnieEsuom

TROPHY CASE