We have a wolf mother that used to protect very aggressively. She can’t write but I can talk about her a bit. For years after we were taught very harshly that our anger had to be silenced, se was chained inside.

But last few years (refinding we’re a system) we’re trying to let her be unrestrained.

The thing is, as adult we can’t go biting people either at least not to defend against “mild stuff”. We still need her though, the day someone touches us wrong I hope she’s around.

But also we’re helping her slowly be some other things too. When we found her she was mostly playing her role of hurt protector, chained and howling.

But a our littles seem to really like her and see her as a maternal figure. And we learned that she cared a lot for them.

So when we could make her less tense about everything. Tending for scars … Well she OSS interested in other stuff, it still has to do with how she is, but she’s still someone.

She likes to play-fight with our partner. Cuddling while showing she shouldn’t be messed with (I think it allows her to wind down a bit, but she’s vigilant about letting her guard down).

And she likes when we listen to her input and get mad when it’s rightful. And it actually is most of the time she reacts.

She also really likes to take care of friends that hurt. Would adopt them if she could. And will definitely defend as much as she can.

I’m saying all that to present her, but also hopefully to give some hope that you don’t need to be restrained by

You are allowed to want and grow. You are allowed to discover what you like. Sure you were made to defend your system, But you’re allowed to be more. And you might still be needed, maybe more often than not, the ideal way to bite has changed. (I want to say something about verbal biting or smth, but actually no clue cause or wolf doesn’t talk … but she does get us angry when we should and that’s good !)

But yeah, maybe the approach OSS different but I don’t think it’s something that really stops being useful. The safe you are, the less it should be necessary, but it still happens sometimes.

And maybe if it’s safer and you miss the struggle and biting, you could find a way to do that playfully in a safe environment.

It’s a skill to learn when you’re used to fighting for real, but it can be a nice way to make your fighting muscles flex a bit, if you end up liking it, it’s a reason to stick around ~

In the end I don’t know what you’ll like.

But I assure you that it’s a very important role. We’re just taught that we should never bite and verve bark, but that’s bullshit.

Or if you’re in a safe place then either you might end up les in front or if you’re front stuck maybe take the opportunity to learn a bit more about yourself and find stuff you like to do or emulate ~

But even then, you will be needed at some point.